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SWF seeks ???: Katharine Magary, 19, student in Pasadena. Likes beach walks at sunset, sing-song poetry, constructed languages and geology. INTP. Foot mutant and keeper of the Devil's Haircut. Will not pay your rent on minimum wage.
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email: email
AIM: pailblusea
ICQ: 12670431
Y!: durlomiel
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torstai, tammikuu 31
PETTY COMMERCIALISM
Expect little from me the next two days. I'm hard at work learning to appreciate Johnny Cash. No, really. I've listened to the music seven or eight times now.
Let's see. Horrible news: the retirement plan did not go through at the school board, so all the teachers are now pissed. In other news, today was GooglyMinotaur's last day. Too bad. I really liked the little bot.
I've been looking at the crazy stuff Josten's wants to sell me for graduation, other than the usual cap and gown business. Well, I decided that this one style of class ring was actually kind of cool. You can see my selection here; it's the first one. I just made the second one for fun. I'm trying to figure out the cost of all this. Of course, it doesn't stop me from wanting one of these, but anyway. My parents feel kind of generous for some reason. Maybe they're seeing that I'm stressing out or whatever.
Filled out 16 pages of lab rat packet today, pretending that I'm 18 now and not in two months. If I have to strongly agree, sort of agree, be neutral, slightly disagree, or strongly disagree with anything right now, I think I'll scream.
muzak: Johnny Cash, "I Walk the Line"
Expect little from me the next two days. I'm hard at work learning to appreciate Johnny Cash. No, really. I've listened to the music seven or eight times now.
Let's see. Horrible news: the retirement plan did not go through at the school board, so all the teachers are now pissed. In other news, today was GooglyMinotaur's last day. Too bad. I really liked the little bot.
I've been looking at the crazy stuff Josten's wants to sell me for graduation, other than the usual cap and gown business. Well, I decided that this one style of class ring was actually kind of cool. You can see my selection here; it's the first one. I just made the second one for fun. I'm trying to figure out the cost of all this. Of course, it doesn't stop me from wanting one of these, but anyway. My parents feel kind of generous for some reason. Maybe they're seeing that I'm stressing out or whatever.
Filled out 16 pages of lab rat packet today, pretending that I'm 18 now and not in two months. If I have to strongly agree, sort of agree, be neutral, slightly disagree, or strongly disagree with anything right now, I think I'll scream.
muzak: Johnny Cash, "I Walk the Line"
keskiviikko, tammikuu 30
JISH'S EXPERIMENT
Oh, I got an email from Jish of the Webloggers ring asking us to meet our neighbors. So, I ventured out of my little hole and looked at the following pages.
Left: Really, I'm just a silly grasshopper
Right: geekxsteel
Oh, I got an email from Jish of the Webloggers ring asking us to meet our neighbors. So, I ventured out of my little hole and looked at the following pages.
Left: Really, I'm just a silly grasshopper
Right: geekxsteel
OH, GOING DRESSED FINE
Okay, I have now listened to that country CD three times today. That is a record of my ability to withstand music I don't really like for long periods of time. Of course, I don't actually mind the first few songs, but then they start yodeling, and it's not what I like. And I have "Single Girl, Married Girl" permanently stuck in my head.
I went to pick up my textbook that I had preordered online from the bookstore. I know my way around the store, but then they had signs that said "Prepaid texts in textbook office ---->". Of course, there wasn't a door there, so I went upstairs and to the right, and upon not finding the textbook office, went up another flight of stairs to the place where you trade in old texts. Well, they were closed, so I went back downstairs and decided not to feel stupid asking for directions. It turned out to be this little door to the left, behind some shelves. Like I was supposed to know that.
So after class I had to pick up a questionnaire about myself so that the people performing experiments and needing me as a lab rat, but in order to do so, I had to find the main office of the department, evidently in Tolman Hall, which is nowhere near the other social science buildings, but we wouldn't expect that, would we? But I found my way there okay, as it was on my old path out of Gianinni to the train. Only I didn't remember the building being so large when I used to walk by it.
Well, Tolman Hall is a large, Cold War-era building that was not exactly designed to navigate easily. There are two wings, not connected on the ground floor, only on the second floor. So I ended up in the wrong one, but the office was on the third floor, so I got into the elevator. Imagine my surprise to see that it didn't stop on that floor, only 2 and 4. I went to the fourth floor and went down some stairs, wandered through this enormous empty building, endless passageways and lab corridors and finally arrived at 3210 Tolman, Department of Psychology, Main Office.
After I waited for two minutes, this old guy with a beard in aging hippie gear turns up and introduces himself as the receptionist, how may I help you?
"I need the RPP prescreening packet," I replied.
He eyed me for a moment. "What class are you in?"
"Psych 2," I answered. I had been thinking that there would be a pile of packets for students to pick up and that I wouldn't have to deal with a guard.
He continued to look at me suspiciously. "Didn't your professor give you a copy?"
Frazzled, I told him yes, but I had been on the wait list and so I never got one. Evidently this was enough of a story for The Gatekeeper, so he disappeared for a bit more and returned with several packets. I left. Getting out was another adventure, but fortunately I got to see the guy who walks his cat by the plant genetics building. That always used to make my day, even though the sun was bright in my eyes and I was hungry and my back hurt.
muzak: David Bowie, "Space Oddity"
Okay, I have now listened to that country CD three times today. That is a record of my ability to withstand music I don't really like for long periods of time. Of course, I don't actually mind the first few songs, but then they start yodeling, and it's not what I like. And I have "Single Girl, Married Girl" permanently stuck in my head.
[Public] David: Does anyone remember the show where some anonymous camera would stroll through anonymous lobbies, hotel corridors, up elevators, down hallways, at night?Well, that almost accurately describes my adventure today as I walked around campus. Let me tell you a story about someone who is going to die in college, namely me.
[Public] David: That was the whole show, you just watched whereever the camera took you, all to jazz music.
I went to pick up my textbook that I had preordered online from the bookstore. I know my way around the store, but then they had signs that said "Prepaid texts in textbook office ---->". Of course, there wasn't a door there, so I went upstairs and to the right, and upon not finding the textbook office, went up another flight of stairs to the place where you trade in old texts. Well, they were closed, so I went back downstairs and decided not to feel stupid asking for directions. It turned out to be this little door to the left, behind some shelves. Like I was supposed to know that.
So after class I had to pick up a questionnaire about myself so that the people performing experiments and needing me as a lab rat, but in order to do so, I had to find the main office of the department, evidently in Tolman Hall, which is nowhere near the other social science buildings, but we wouldn't expect that, would we? But I found my way there okay, as it was on my old path out of Gianinni to the train. Only I didn't remember the building being so large when I used to walk by it.
Well, Tolman Hall is a large, Cold War-era building that was not exactly designed to navigate easily. There are two wings, not connected on the ground floor, only on the second floor. So I ended up in the wrong one, but the office was on the third floor, so I got into the elevator. Imagine my surprise to see that it didn't stop on that floor, only 2 and 4. I went to the fourth floor and went down some stairs, wandered through this enormous empty building, endless passageways and lab corridors and finally arrived at 3210 Tolman, Department of Psychology, Main Office.
After I waited for two minutes, this old guy with a beard in aging hippie gear turns up and introduces himself as the receptionist, how may I help you?
"I need the RPP prescreening packet," I replied.
He eyed me for a moment. "What class are you in?"
"Psych 2," I answered. I had been thinking that there would be a pile of packets for students to pick up and that I wouldn't have to deal with a guard.
He continued to look at me suspiciously. "Didn't your professor give you a copy?"
Frazzled, I told him yes, but I had been on the wait list and so I never got one. Evidently this was enough of a story for The Gatekeeper, so he disappeared for a bit more and returned with several packets. I left. Getting out was another adventure, but fortunately I got to see the guy who walks his cat by the plant genetics building. That always used to make my day, even though the sun was bright in my eyes and I was hungry and my back hurt.
muzak: David Bowie, "Space Oddity"
tiistai, tammikuu 29
I AM HAVING A CRISIS
Okay, I had this copper ring. And it was turning my skin green, yes, but I really grew attached to it. And now I've gone and lost it, like I do with all jewelry that isn't permanently attached to me. (Like my necklace, but see, that is just some stuff I could go get at the hardware store.)
But seriously. Me and my ring had a special relationship. It was like "my preciousss", except I didn't talk to it, I just got it stuck on different finers and admired its leaves. I think I'll place a bulletin ad asking if anyone's seen it. Because those $9 I spent on it were well worth finding something that matched my skin tone. It's really difficult to find copper rings. There's a lot of gold and silver out there, but copper...no. (Maybe it's that it stains. I could see that would be undesirable.)
Anyway, I've been searching eBay for a replacement, but none seem to be satisfactory. If I'm going to buy a new Preciousss, I might as well go out and get a kewliezzz version of it, even if it is silver. I know it's sort of picky of me, but see, I never buy jewelry. I don't demand diamonds. (I'd rather not have them, for that matter, due to all the nasty politics and monopolies.)
Okay, I had this copper ring. And it was turning my skin green, yes, but I really grew attached to it. And now I've gone and lost it, like I do with all jewelry that isn't permanently attached to me. (Like my necklace, but see, that is just some stuff I could go get at the hardware store.)
But seriously. Me and my ring had a special relationship. It was like "my preciousss", except I didn't talk to it, I just got it stuck on different finers and admired its leaves. I think I'll place a bulletin ad asking if anyone's seen it. Because those $9 I spent on it were well worth finding something that matched my skin tone. It's really difficult to find copper rings. There's a lot of gold and silver out there, but copper...no. (Maybe it's that it stains. I could see that would be undesirable.)
Anyway, I've been searching eBay for a replacement, but none seem to be satisfactory. If I'm going to buy a new Preciousss, I might as well go out and get a kewliezzz version of it, even if it is silver. I know it's sort of picky of me, but see, I never buy jewelry. I don't demand diamonds. (I'd rather not have them, for that matter, due to all the nasty politics and monopolies.)
A WASTE OF TIME
I have been sitting around for the past 3 hours with nothing to do. I've done homework, read stuff, checked the news...I should have brought money so I could go to the mall. Everyone's left me here except Diane, and she's more fascinated with playing some dinosaur game that doesn't involve me. Edelman wasn't in his office and I needed to do some stuff for him. So I ended up just sitting around and noticing that there was an update of The V. Secret Diaries
Yes, I'm feeling self-centered today.
Now Alisa is pestering me about writing more letters to the editor. Meanwhile, I have to think of something to write a speech about. I think I'm going to write about how uniforms are a good policy in middle schools, but the privilege given to the admin should not be abused. (Thanks, Julie.)
Anyway, I've had way too much free time today, since I didn't have to TA and Mr. Durieux didn't show up to sub for American D. I just don't know what to do with myself. Shni. At the moment it's listening to Shapiro and Cohen discuss the new math/physics class they want to teach, or whatever it is. That seems to be it from what I've overheard while eavesdropping so far.
I have been sitting around for the past 3 hours with nothing to do. I've done homework, read stuff, checked the news...I should have brought money so I could go to the mall. Everyone's left me here except Diane, and she's more fascinated with playing some dinosaur game that doesn't involve me. Edelman wasn't in his office and I needed to do some stuff for him. So I ended up just sitting around and noticing that there was an update of The V. Secret Diaries
Yes, I'm feeling self-centered today.
Now Alisa is pestering me about writing more letters to the editor. Meanwhile, I have to think of something to write a speech about. I think I'm going to write about how uniforms are a good policy in middle schools, but the privilege given to the admin should not be abused. (Thanks, Julie.)
Anyway, I've had way too much free time today, since I didn't have to TA and Mr. Durieux didn't show up to sub for American D. I just don't know what to do with myself. Shni. At the moment it's listening to Shapiro and Cohen discuss the new math/physics class they want to teach, or whatever it is. That seems to be it from what I've overheard while eavesdropping so far.
maanantai, tammikuu 28
BLAH BLAH SOMETHING IN ELVISH
What I learned today in school: remember always to bring one's stuff, like notebooks. They come in handy sometimes. Also: why the Campanile is taller than Hoover Tower at Stanford. More on that later.
I've been having fun with AIM bots and so forth today. They're rather amusing. Indeed, I've been doing so many useless and unproductive things ever since I got home. I decided that for whatever reason, I was terribly interested in looking at maps and comparing them and then analyzing the geological history of imaginary places, and I got so caught up in doing so that I neglected to look at obscure arguments and analyze those. But it's all fine; I wouldn't have understood them anyway.
Now that I've gotten into my psych class, I've learned that the lab portion consists of my playing lab rat for five hours. I have to complete a prescreening survey so they can see if I'm a left-handed, schizophrenic fraternal twin or whatever. And since I learned about how to construct tests today, I've also decided to play along and make a Friend Test of my own, since I failed Sarah's. I won't make it impossible though.
What I learned today in school: remember always to bring one's stuff, like notebooks. They come in handy sometimes. Also: why the Campanile is taller than Hoover Tower at Stanford. More on that later.
I've been having fun with AIM bots and so forth today. They're rather amusing. Indeed, I've been doing so many useless and unproductive things ever since I got home. I decided that for whatever reason, I was terribly interested in looking at maps and comparing them and then analyzing the geological history of imaginary places, and I got so caught up in doing so that I neglected to look at obscure arguments and analyze those. But it's all fine; I wouldn't have understood them anyway.
Now that I've gotten into my psych class, I've learned that the lab portion consists of my playing lab rat for five hours. I have to complete a prescreening survey so they can see if I'm a left-handed, schizophrenic fraternal twin or whatever. And since I learned about how to construct tests today, I've also decided to play along and make a Friend Test of my own, since I failed Sarah's. I won't make it impossible though.
sunnuntai, tammikuu 27
YONDER NOR SORGHUM STENCHES
Work was mildly good for once. I don't know why, but nothing objectionable happened. This is an improvement! I watched Maritza play with tarot cards and now I want to learn how to read them. I'm sort of intrigued by obscure card decks with illustrations and explanations. Nonetheless, I don't believe in psychic powers. I take after Scully in my skepticism under most if not all circumstances.
I had an interview today with Heather from the University of Chicago. I exoected a coffeshop and ended up in her apartment, but her cat at least gave me some excuses to talk. I need to learn to talk more openly about myself and not stall on questions.
In another news: I've decided for some reason that ICQ may be worth my time. Unfortunately, the vast majority of my list is on the now-unplugged Dumb Object, so there went 178 contacts. I don't feel verbose. I have a class. I'm going to bed.
Work was mildly good for once. I don't know why, but nothing objectionable happened. This is an improvement! I watched Maritza play with tarot cards and now I want to learn how to read them. I'm sort of intrigued by obscure card decks with illustrations and explanations. Nonetheless, I don't believe in psychic powers. I take after Scully in my skepticism under most if not all circumstances.
I had an interview today with Heather from the University of Chicago. I exoected a coffeshop and ended up in her apartment, but her cat at least gave me some excuses to talk. I need to learn to talk more openly about myself and not stall on questions.
In another news: I've decided for some reason that ICQ may be worth my time. Unfortunately, the vast majority of my list is on the now-unplugged Dumb Object, so there went 178 contacts. I don't feel verbose. I have a class. I'm going to bed.
lauantai, tammikuu 26
OBSERVATION
Karin's Garden Mint Instant Antibacterial Hand Gel smells a lot like bug spray.
I wonder why Bath and Body Works markets it as waterless soap when it would be so much better as a repellant, both for insects and humans.
Karin's Garden Mint Instant Antibacterial Hand Gel smells a lot like bug spray.
I wonder why Bath and Body Works markets it as waterless soap when it would be so much better as a repellant, both for insects and humans.
A SUMMARY OF TODAY'S EVENTS, PART 2
At 6am I awoke to the sound of KFOG doing some sort of public service announcement. I swore I would not wake up until there was something worthwhile on the radio. I hit the snooze button and tried again ten minutes later. Woke up, got dressed, dragged myself into the kitchen and ate what would be my first breakfast, a grapefruit and a granola bar. People arrived at the ungodly hour of 6:45, and we sat around and stared uncomfortably at each other for a while until deciding that it was time to leave. (I tried my best not to be in the car with Dr. Hill; his car broke down so he had to ride in one of our cars.) The ride to Livermore was uneventful, amusing in a way, as Tommy fell asleep in one of his contortionist ways and we stared at him, unable to see if he was really asleep or not.
Everything was okay until the first competition. I had a banana, sat around and chatted with my teammates. Diane bothered people, which bothered me in particular, but we just sort of hung out and talked about stuff. Science. Whatever. And then we proceeded to the auditorium for boring opening remarks, cheered when we heard that the prizes for participants would be light-up yo-yos and boomerangs (and better designed t-shirts) and I made a mental note when the Mission San Jose team made a fashionably late arrival and sat down in the front row.
The first 6 rounds we were against Lynbrook, Chinese Christian and Santa Teresa. Having heard Things about Lynbrook I was a little nervous as we walked to the room, but as the round began I realized I was having a panic attack right there. I was still able to sort of answer, but my pulse was like I had just run a few miles, and I couldn't make my hand write. I felt bad, and right there I wasn't sure if I'd be able to make it through the round, let alone the rest of the competition, but I felt a little better after the break. We didn't lose by much, only 20 points or so. We then proceeded to really beat the other two schools, both times, but lost to Lynbrook again, putting us second in our group. During lunch I kind of briefly looked at electromagnetism. (Very briefly.) And we planned out how the rest of the time might go.
Unfortunately we fell 60 points behind in the first half competing against Foothill. They were good. We caught up in the second half, and almost won in the last five seconds, but due to an unfortunate turn of events missed the question, and so we went home early. But that's okay. I felt like we did a lot better than at the regionals last year in terms of how we got along as a team. Last year at lunch we hardly talked at all. (Or, that is, I talked to Stephanie, and Dario, Sam and John talked to each other.) And everyone answered a lot of questions right, and buzzed in at the right times, and did math quickly and accurately. So congratulations to them, and to whomever joins the team next year, and to whomever won today's competition.
After driving everyone home, I briefly went home, then went out to dinner with Sarah, Julie, Emily and Meredith, as Sarah's birthday wasa few years ago. That was fun. I don't go to the Castro often, but it's fun and interesting, at least more so than where I normally end up when I wander around the city.
At 6am I awoke to the sound of KFOG doing some sort of public service announcement. I swore I would not wake up until there was something worthwhile on the radio. I hit the snooze button and tried again ten minutes later. Woke up, got dressed, dragged myself into the kitchen and ate what would be my first breakfast, a grapefruit and a granola bar. People arrived at the ungodly hour of 6:45, and we sat around and stared uncomfortably at each other for a while until deciding that it was time to leave. (I tried my best not to be in the car with Dr. Hill; his car broke down so he had to ride in one of our cars.) The ride to Livermore was uneventful, amusing in a way, as Tommy fell asleep in one of his contortionist ways and we stared at him, unable to see if he was really asleep or not.
Everything was okay until the first competition. I had a banana, sat around and chatted with my teammates. Diane bothered people, which bothered me in particular, but we just sort of hung out and talked about stuff. Science. Whatever. And then we proceeded to the auditorium for boring opening remarks, cheered when we heard that the prizes for participants would be light-up yo-yos and boomerangs (and better designed t-shirts) and I made a mental note when the Mission San Jose team made a fashionably late arrival and sat down in the front row.
The first 6 rounds we were against Lynbrook, Chinese Christian and Santa Teresa. Having heard Things about Lynbrook I was a little nervous as we walked to the room, but as the round began I realized I was having a panic attack right there. I was still able to sort of answer, but my pulse was like I had just run a few miles, and I couldn't make my hand write. I felt bad, and right there I wasn't sure if I'd be able to make it through the round, let alone the rest of the competition, but I felt a little better after the break. We didn't lose by much, only 20 points or so. We then proceeded to really beat the other two schools, both times, but lost to Lynbrook again, putting us second in our group. During lunch I kind of briefly looked at electromagnetism. (Very briefly.) And we planned out how the rest of the time might go.
Unfortunately we fell 60 points behind in the first half competing against Foothill. They were good. We caught up in the second half, and almost won in the last five seconds, but due to an unfortunate turn of events missed the question, and so we went home early. But that's okay. I felt like we did a lot better than at the regionals last year in terms of how we got along as a team. Last year at lunch we hardly talked at all. (Or, that is, I talked to Stephanie, and Dario, Sam and John talked to each other.) And everyone answered a lot of questions right, and buzzed in at the right times, and did math quickly and accurately. So congratulations to them, and to whomever joins the team next year, and to whomever won today's competition.
After driving everyone home, I briefly went home, then went out to dinner with Sarah, Julie, Emily and Meredith, as Sarah's birthday wasa few years ago. That was fun. I don't go to the Castro often, but it's fun and interesting, at least more so than where I normally end up when I wander around the city.
OFF
Back from the competition early. We didn't place. Oh well. More later, as I will otherwise be late for dinner.
muzak: Moby, "Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad?"
Back from the competition early. We didn't place. Oh well. More later, as I will otherwise be late for dinner.
muzak: Moby, "Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad?"
perjantai, tammikuu 25
AN INVESTMENT FOR THE FUTURE
I think I am going to support my favorite dot-com and upgrade to BloggerPro, because its features rock, and it's inexpensive if I order early. Besides, I also get 8000 free impressions on their homepage, and we all know how I love to advertise myself.
Besides, I'm in an exceptionally good mood right now. I can continue going to Berkeley. I got inot my class, after I explained to the instructor that I was a pathetic high school student, etc., and got myself priority on the waitlist, which means I get in when the department finishes processing it. It called for celebration. Unfortunately, my plans to go to pizza/pool night fell through after I got in a tiff with my friends this afternoon. Meredith is obsessive about logistics, a fact which bothers me, but now I'll forgive it.
muzak: Nine Inch Nails, "Head Like a Hole"
I think I am going to support my favorite dot-com and upgrade to BloggerPro, because its features rock, and it's inexpensive if I order early. Besides, I also get 8000 free impressions on their homepage, and we all know how I love to advertise myself.
Besides, I'm in an exceptionally good mood right now. I can continue going to Berkeley. I got inot my class, after I explained to the instructor that I was a pathetic high school student, etc., and got myself priority on the waitlist, which means I get in when the department finishes processing it. It called for celebration. Unfortunately, my plans to go to pizza/pool night fell through after I got in a tiff with my friends this afternoon. Meredith is obsessive about logistics, a fact which bothers me, but now I'll forgive it.
muzak: Nine Inch Nails, "Head Like a Hole"
torstai, tammikuu 24
I GUESS
It's not like I'm looking for sympathy, either. I just was anxious about this all last night, and my friends [re: online] were not helpful in the least. They were either asleep, stoned, or otherwise unavailable. So I was left to Paul. He was telling me that I need to get on with my life, and just because I can't go to college next year doesn't mean it's the end of the world. "Hey," he says, "I dropped out of high school when I was 14, and look at me now." It's like a scene out of Daria (actually, I think there was a similar one in the finale on Monday). And then he makes me feel guilty by implying that I thought that people who don't go to college are failures, which is totally untrue. It's just that when one has been prepared for this moment for the last thirteen years of school, raised to believe that it's the only way, and has no preparation to do anything else, not going to college would just be the worst possible thing for me to do. I'd die of boredom, depression, apathy...complete inability to feel worthy, or even make enough money to live, even for a year.
...
I just felt the need to clarify that point. Even though Paul doesn't read this.
It's not like I'm looking for sympathy, either. I just was anxious about this all last night, and my friends [re: online] were not helpful in the least. They were either asleep, stoned, or otherwise unavailable. So I was left to Paul. He was telling me that I need to get on with my life, and just because I can't go to college next year doesn't mean it's the end of the world. "Hey," he says, "I dropped out of high school when I was 14, and look at me now." It's like a scene out of Daria (actually, I think there was a similar one in the finale on Monday). And then he makes me feel guilty by implying that I thought that people who don't go to college are failures, which is totally untrue. It's just that when one has been prepared for this moment for the last thirteen years of school, raised to believe that it's the only way, and has no preparation to do anything else, not going to college would just be the worst possible thing for me to do. I'd die of boredom, depression, apathy...complete inability to feel worthy, or even make enough money to live, even for a year.
...
I just felt the need to clarify that point. Even though Paul doesn't read this.
WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES
I am so sick of being in limbo. I've emailed my advisor, my professors...everyone I could think of. I don't know what's left forme to do but wait and see if I get off any lists. It's really stressful, waiting like this. It makes me not appreciate large bureaucratic institutions like I should.
Two days until the Science Bowl regionals. I hope we do well. I don't really care at this point. I just want to get it all over with.
I am so sick of being in limbo. I've emailed my advisor, my professors...everyone I could think of. I don't know what's left forme to do but wait and see if I get off any lists. It's really stressful, waiting like this. It makes me not appreciate large bureaucratic institutions like I should.
Two days until the Science Bowl regionals. I hope we do well. I don't really care at this point. I just want to get it all over with.
keskiviikko, tammikuu 23
WE HOPE THAT YOU CHOKE
I have decided that Telebears is the Devil's child.
So I went back to Berkeley today with my schedule in hand. I hadn't gotten off the wait list for the two classes I wanted to take, both of which met today. I hoped to do so. What really happened? I say down in Psych, which supposedly has 25 empty seats, and it's a full house. The grad student didn't have a loud enough normal voice, so she basically had to yell her introduction. I found out what the schedule didn't mention: the section is junior/senior only. She told all the freshmen and sophomores to switch into Psych 1, which is full at the moment. So I can just stay on the wait list until I get in or give up. I'll just wait.
My other class was equally frustrating. I was ninth on the wait list, and I thought I had a good chance of getting into the class as I sat there. Unfortinately, the limit was very rigid. The professor wants to let me in, but there were seven seats empty and seven seats only, so now I am second. I really really want to get off this list. I hate being in limbo.
I really don't want to have to drop this program. I like Berkeley, and I don't want to have that choice taken away from me. I considered it my backup school, and there's not really any college that I'm very likely to get into, so what the hell am I supposed to do if I can't get 3 units? Not go to college? This isn't supposed to happen right now. I'm not supposed to find out that I'm on the honor roll one week and then the next week not be sure if I'm even going to college next year.
...
I have decided that Telebears is the Devil's child.
So I went back to Berkeley today with my schedule in hand. I hadn't gotten off the wait list for the two classes I wanted to take, both of which met today. I hoped to do so. What really happened? I say down in Psych, which supposedly has 25 empty seats, and it's a full house. The grad student didn't have a loud enough normal voice, so she basically had to yell her introduction. I found out what the schedule didn't mention: the section is junior/senior only. She told all the freshmen and sophomores to switch into Psych 1, which is full at the moment. So I can just stay on the wait list until I get in or give up. I'll just wait.
My other class was equally frustrating. I was ninth on the wait list, and I thought I had a good chance of getting into the class as I sat there. Unfortinately, the limit was very rigid. The professor wants to let me in, but there were seven seats empty and seven seats only, so now I am second. I really really want to get off this list. I hate being in limbo.
I really don't want to have to drop this program. I like Berkeley, and I don't want to have that choice taken away from me. I considered it my backup school, and there's not really any college that I'm very likely to get into, so what the hell am I supposed to do if I can't get 3 units? Not go to college? This isn't supposed to happen right now. I'm not supposed to find out that I'm on the honor roll one week and then the next week not be sure if I'm even going to college next year.
...
tiistai, tammikuu 22
ON A SIDE NOTE
I really need to improve my memory. I've been having issues with remembering things in the short term, meetings and obligations and so forth. I don't want to end up like the guy in Memento, completely covered in comments, but that's what I feel may be necessary. The thing is, I neglect all reminders.
Point in case: Meredith has wanted me to bring a tape for her since last week. I have forgotten four times, even after being called right before leaving the house. Today she called at 7:00, Karin took a message and told me, left a sign on the table, and I repeated it to myself over and over, but what did I do? I left it by the door. I feel awful. My parents don't trust me with information because they consider me absent-minded. And I'm only 17. I'd hate to see me later in life.
I really need to improve my memory. I've been having issues with remembering things in the short term, meetings and obligations and so forth. I don't want to end up like the guy in Memento, completely covered in comments, but that's what I feel may be necessary. The thing is, I neglect all reminders.
Point in case: Meredith has wanted me to bring a tape for her since last week. I have forgotten four times, even after being called right before leaving the house. Today she called at 7:00, Karin took a message and told me, left a sign on the table, and I repeated it to myself over and over, but what did I do? I left it by the door. I feel awful. My parents don't trust me with information because they consider me absent-minded. And I'm only 17. I'd hate to see me later in life.
BUT I COULDN'T READ THE SUBTITLES
All right. I have totally mastered the circular flow of macroeconomics. I've only learned about it three times in the past six weeks. Two different times today. Ah yes, all that wonderful money flowing around in circles, CIGX=WIRP. Delightful. My mother would be excited too; it's probably something that signifies my path to a high-paying job.
So today was the first day of the last semester I will spend at Lowell. I'm actually kind of sad, I suppose, as I haven't hated high school half as much as I hated middle school. It's such a cynical way of looking at things. (I just watched the finale of Daria last night. So sad. That was the only reason I ever watched MTV in the first place.) But I shall now review what happened to me today.
Mod 1/2- English. This is the same English class as I had last semester. There are approximately two people who are different from a few days ago. I can't say anything much about what happened. We haven't gotten our finals back, but I hope my grade on that is high enough to keep my semester grade an A.
Mod 3- I went to my old Physics class because I'm so used to walking up that stairway. Of course, it's not the class I have right now, but I missed everyone. So I stuck around for a couple minutes, eating Nancy's goldfish and talking to people, who all lamented the fact that I would no longer be able to mooch off their food and talk when no one else wants to talk, or whatever other annoying things I do. (Lots.)
Mod 4/5- American Democracy. Ms. Ow is completely scatterbrained. She walked into class five minutes late, and continued to lose her train of thought regularly. But she isn't the "flaming bitch" (yet) that Diane described. I suppose maybe I'll witness that in coming months.
6/7/8- Calculus. The highlights include everyone's attempts to bribe me to switch seats. And Peter didn't even want his old seat back, it seems. Ah, well, I didn't accept the $21 I was being offered, and sat in my old seat in the corner, muttering to myself things about transcendential functions. Joy and happiness.
For the rest of the day I sort of sat around and whined about various things, except for Econ and Physics, brief interludes in my period of negativity. I was actually happy today, because I kept thinking about my calculus grade and how wonderful it is. Physics was nice, except there is hardly anyone in my class, so it's sort of like a conversation with Shapiro. He said he might not even grade us by our work, just see how prepared we are and base it on that. So that would take pressure off.
muzak: Howard Shore, "A Shadow of the Past" (I admit I've been too lazy to find the CD case for this, so I've been continually listening to the soundtrack for two days now.)
All right. I have totally mastered the circular flow of macroeconomics. I've only learned about it three times in the past six weeks. Two different times today. Ah yes, all that wonderful money flowing around in circles, CIGX=WIRP. Delightful. My mother would be excited too; it's probably something that signifies my path to a high-paying job.
So today was the first day of the last semester I will spend at Lowell. I'm actually kind of sad, I suppose, as I haven't hated high school half as much as I hated middle school. It's such a cynical way of looking at things. (I just watched the finale of Daria last night. So sad. That was the only reason I ever watched MTV in the first place.) But I shall now review what happened to me today.
Mod 1/2- English. This is the same English class as I had last semester. There are approximately two people who are different from a few days ago. I can't say anything much about what happened. We haven't gotten our finals back, but I hope my grade on that is high enough to keep my semester grade an A.
Mod 3- I went to my old Physics class because I'm so used to walking up that stairway. Of course, it's not the class I have right now, but I missed everyone. So I stuck around for a couple minutes, eating Nancy's goldfish and talking to people, who all lamented the fact that I would no longer be able to mooch off their food and talk when no one else wants to talk, or whatever other annoying things I do. (Lots.)
Mod 4/5- American Democracy. Ms. Ow is completely scatterbrained. She walked into class five minutes late, and continued to lose her train of thought regularly. But she isn't the "flaming bitch" (yet) that Diane described. I suppose maybe I'll witness that in coming months.
6/7/8- Calculus. The highlights include everyone's attempts to bribe me to switch seats. And Peter didn't even want his old seat back, it seems. Ah, well, I didn't accept the $21 I was being offered, and sat in my old seat in the corner, muttering to myself things about transcendential functions. Joy and happiness.
For the rest of the day I sort of sat around and whined about various things, except for Econ and Physics, brief interludes in my period of negativity. I was actually happy today, because I kept thinking about my calculus grade and how wonderful it is. Physics was nice, except there is hardly anyone in my class, so it's sort of like a conversation with Shapiro. He said he might not even grade us by our work, just see how prepared we are and base it on that. So that would take pressure off.
muzak: Howard Shore, "A Shadow of the Past" (I admit I've been too lazy to find the CD case for this, so I've been continually listening to the soundtrack for two days now.)
sunnuntai, tammikuu 20
HAPPY PICCOLO MUSIC
So tonight I went out to dinner with Karin and Jenny and her family. Her father is a member of the Olympic Club's country club, so we dined like the upper crust, I suppose. It's sort of amusing to go to places like that, where there are old men and their suits and ties and wives who probably drink tea while their husbands talk business and play golf. Anyway, the building is nice, but there is a ballroom where little kids slide around in their bare socks. I wanted to do that, but alas, I'm too old, so I have to stand around and giggle.
Most of the evening was spent with Jenny talking, as usual. She recounted many of our old stories from when we were all a lot younger, doing stupid things like eating bath salt. And then she decided to give us a summary of this play she has memorized, the whole thing, except not telling us the plot. Mostly the dialogue. This was interrupted often with exclamations of "And it was really funny!" and "So it was hilarious..." and so on. She must have said each one of those at least 30 times in the course of the evening, if not many more.
So tonight I went out to dinner with Karin and Jenny and her family. Her father is a member of the Olympic Club's country club, so we dined like the upper crust, I suppose. It's sort of amusing to go to places like that, where there are old men and their suits and ties and wives who probably drink tea while their husbands talk business and play golf. Anyway, the building is nice, but there is a ballroom where little kids slide around in their bare socks. I wanted to do that, but alas, I'm too old, so I have to stand around and giggle.
Most of the evening was spent with Jenny talking, as usual. She recounted many of our old stories from when we were all a lot younger, doing stupid things like eating bath salt. And then she decided to give us a summary of this play she has memorized, the whole thing, except not telling us the plot. Mostly the dialogue. This was interrupted often with exclamations of "And it was really funny!" and "So it was hilarious..." and so on. She must have said each one of those at least 30 times in the course of the evening, if not many more.
OW
So I had no time to write yesterday. Sue me.
I was pissed at my friends yesterday for various reasons. Andrea and I were going to see a movie on Friday after finals, but then she felt obliged to go to the symphony with Joanna, which was fine, and we were to see something the next day. But on Saturday I got calls from people while I was still asleep, and when I got up, I called Meredith who was running out the door for some lifeguard re-training course, and she wouldn't have her phone on until later. I told her I'd meet her to see Black Hawk Down later that day, but then I realized a few minutes later that I didn't want to see the movie at all. I don't like graphic depictions of war. I mean, I know it happens, and I'm sure there's some analysis that says I'm screwed up because I don't like to see blood all over the place, but anyway. But then Meredith has been mad at me recently because I see too many movies, and those I haven't seen I don't want to see, which is totally untrue. There's a list of half a dozen movies in theaters that I want to see, but BHD just isn't on that list. I couldn't call her until 3, but I was supposed to meet her downtown at 3:15, so I'd be halfway there.
Then I called Andrea, hoping she wouldn't want to see the movie either, and we could just see something different, while Sarah and Meredith saw BHD. But no, she was going to see A Beautiful Mind with Joanna. I liked the movie, but I didn't want to see it again. So I was stuck, and then no movies for me at all. I sort of grumbled and lay around the house feeling sorry for myself before she called me back to let me know that now she could see a movie with me, and she didn't want to see BHD either, so let's go see Elijah Wood with hairy feet, eh? This made me happy, because I wanted to see LoTR again anyway, as I had finished the last book (except the appendix) about 20 minutes earlier. So we went and saw it, and she didn't have to ask me to explain anything. But now she, too, is madly in love with Orlando Bloom. Who isn't? I guess I'm the only one.
Dar finally came to work on a Sunday, but she is having us bond with each other by doing "Who's Up Next?", sort of a stand-up comedy thing. We just come up with some five-minute thing to perform in front of everyone so they can get to know us better. Well, I don't want my coworkers to get to know me better. They don't want to know me; they've made it obvious, so I'll spare them having to listen to me for five minutes. It's gotten to the point at which I sit down and ask for the sign in sheet, and Malahkah will ignore me until I've asked again. I don't want to make a scene, because everyone will side with whoever it is that I'm arguing with; it's obvious. So I don't bother.
After work I went with Karin to Wherehouse so she could use up a gift certificate. I don't like that store very much; the selection isn't very good. At least it's not on the same scale of total badness as Sam Goody, which I swear edits its merchandise as to only sell boring or stupid music. But still, I had to sit around while she made up her mind on what to get. I don't like going into music stores without money if they don't have listening stations.
So I had no time to write yesterday. Sue me.
I was pissed at my friends yesterday for various reasons. Andrea and I were going to see a movie on Friday after finals, but then she felt obliged to go to the symphony with Joanna, which was fine, and we were to see something the next day. But on Saturday I got calls from people while I was still asleep, and when I got up, I called Meredith who was running out the door for some lifeguard re-training course, and she wouldn't have her phone on until later. I told her I'd meet her to see Black Hawk Down later that day, but then I realized a few minutes later that I didn't want to see the movie at all. I don't like graphic depictions of war. I mean, I know it happens, and I'm sure there's some analysis that says I'm screwed up because I don't like to see blood all over the place, but anyway. But then Meredith has been mad at me recently because I see too many movies, and those I haven't seen I don't want to see, which is totally untrue. There's a list of half a dozen movies in theaters that I want to see, but BHD just isn't on that list. I couldn't call her until 3, but I was supposed to meet her downtown at 3:15, so I'd be halfway there.
Then I called Andrea, hoping she wouldn't want to see the movie either, and we could just see something different, while Sarah and Meredith saw BHD. But no, she was going to see A Beautiful Mind with Joanna. I liked the movie, but I didn't want to see it again. So I was stuck, and then no movies for me at all. I sort of grumbled and lay around the house feeling sorry for myself before she called me back to let me know that now she could see a movie with me, and she didn't want to see BHD either, so let's go see Elijah Wood with hairy feet, eh? This made me happy, because I wanted to see LoTR again anyway, as I had finished the last book (except the appendix) about 20 minutes earlier. So we went and saw it, and she didn't have to ask me to explain anything. But now she, too, is madly in love with Orlando Bloom. Who isn't? I guess I'm the only one.
Dar finally came to work on a Sunday, but she is having us bond with each other by doing "Who's Up Next?", sort of a stand-up comedy thing. We just come up with some five-minute thing to perform in front of everyone so they can get to know us better. Well, I don't want my coworkers to get to know me better. They don't want to know me; they've made it obvious, so I'll spare them having to listen to me for five minutes. It's gotten to the point at which I sit down and ask for the sign in sheet, and Malahkah will ignore me until I've asked again. I don't want to make a scene, because everyone will side with whoever it is that I'm arguing with; it's obvious. So I don't bother.
After work I went with Karin to Wherehouse so she could use up a gift certificate. I don't like that store very much; the selection isn't very good. At least it's not on the same scale of total badness as Sam Goody, which I swear edits its merchandise as to only sell boring or stupid music. But still, I had to sit around while she made up her mind on what to get. I don't like going into music stores without money if they don't have listening stations.
perjantai, tammikuu 18
THIS IS WONDERFUL
For the moment, I feel truly accomplished. I am actually proud of what I've done over the past few days. But I especially feel like I've gotten somewhere in math. The results of my finals:
Physics: 96 (top grade in class-- Shapiro felt it necessary to announce this, upon which I hid my face)
Econ: 148=A+ (how did I get the top grade? This shouldn't be possible.)
Calc: 111=?, but high enough to get me an A in the class! A final! I haven't gotten an A in math since I was a freshperson, and this is the hardest math class offered. And it's not the lowest A, either, it's somewhere in the middle of the range. It's weird, because when I checked my grade yesterday, I was loking at the wrong book number -- 62 instead of 52 -- so I thought I was in the middle of the B range. When I looked at it again today to find out my score on some other test, I realized that I had an A and I screamed. It was sort of embarrassing. But I don't care now. Bettencourt hasn't let me down this time.
English: I haven't heard yet, but I feel confident that my combined score was at least a B+, which means I should get an A final in the class.
That means that my GPA, unweighted, is a 4.0! So finally, in my second-to-last semester of high school, I get on the honor roll. This has never happened to me before; I've always had at least one B. (Furthermore, my weighted GPA is 5.0, a fact that I am scared of: we always said it would happen to Katya first.)
muzak: Enya, "May It Be"
For the moment, I feel truly accomplished. I am actually proud of what I've done over the past few days. But I especially feel like I've gotten somewhere in math. The results of my finals:
Physics: 96 (top grade in class-- Shapiro felt it necessary to announce this, upon which I hid my face)
Econ: 148=A+ (how did I get the top grade? This shouldn't be possible.)
Calc: 111=?, but high enough to get me an A in the class! A final! I haven't gotten an A in math since I was a freshperson, and this is the hardest math class offered. And it's not the lowest A, either, it's somewhere in the middle of the range. It's weird, because when I checked my grade yesterday, I was loking at the wrong book number -- 62 instead of 52 -- so I thought I was in the middle of the B range. When I looked at it again today to find out my score on some other test, I realized that I had an A and I screamed. It was sort of embarrassing. But I don't care now. Bettencourt hasn't let me down this time.
English: I haven't heard yet, but I feel confident that my combined score was at least a B+, which means I should get an A final in the class.
That means that my GPA, unweighted, is a 4.0! So finally, in my second-to-last semester of high school, I get on the honor roll. This has never happened to me before; I've always had at least one B. (Furthermore, my weighted GPA is 5.0, a fact that I am scared of: we always said it would happen to Katya first.)
muzak: Enya, "May It Be"
keskiviikko, tammikuu 16
SO LONG, GLORY DAYS
I am feeling less than profound right now. I've been attacked by roly-poly cats, flattened on the bottom by the uncomfortable seat of my kitchen as the television fed me its lies, and now I actually have to write something? Well, upon my arrival at school, I almost got hit by not one but two cars. That's what happens when I'm actually conversing with someone as I walk in. (Yelena, in this case, who was trying desperately to do some last-minute understanding of calculus. I had long given up.)
Finals: Calculus. Bettencourt has finally lost his mind on this one. When everyone in the class is convinced that he's made a typo on several questions, but he swears that's the problem, well, that's that. I didn't know how to unchain something that referred to itself. I'm just not like that. So I sat and labored over than fifty questions, dreaming about caffeine, remembering the Fundamental Theorem, forgetting everything else I've learned, and shuffling through my six attached pieces of scratch paper. It's over now.
Econ: Well, fortunately the opening music was good, though Shimmon prefers Everything in its Right Place to Like Spinning Plates in terms of live versions. But then it ended, and the test began. It wasn't all that hard, and it's being graded on the AP scale, so I have a good chance of doing well. However, the girl outside the window, the one who randomly strums her guitar, she played for a while, chords but no particular song, and I sat there thinking about marginal cost, and soon enough they blended into a song. The music stopped, but the words continued. And towards the end I thought about fruit, and then I was hungry.
After school we went to the SPCA (if you say it, it sounds like especie, a multilingual pun) to visit cats. And we brought one home. Her name is Pixel, and she lives in the bathroom for now, until she gets used to the smells of our household. Tigger wants In, and he scratches at the door, and Pixel answers. If I were into literary allusions, I'd say they were like Pyramus and Thisbe, but alas, I am not.
muzak: some song my sister keeps singing by Aaron Carter. It's about basketball, I think.
I am feeling less than profound right now. I've been attacked by roly-poly cats, flattened on the bottom by the uncomfortable seat of my kitchen as the television fed me its lies, and now I actually have to write something? Well, upon my arrival at school, I almost got hit by not one but two cars. That's what happens when I'm actually conversing with someone as I walk in. (Yelena, in this case, who was trying desperately to do some last-minute understanding of calculus. I had long given up.)
Finals: Calculus. Bettencourt has finally lost his mind on this one. When everyone in the class is convinced that he's made a typo on several questions, but he swears that's the problem, well, that's that. I didn't know how to unchain something that referred to itself. I'm just not like that. So I sat and labored over than fifty questions, dreaming about caffeine, remembering the Fundamental Theorem, forgetting everything else I've learned, and shuffling through my six attached pieces of scratch paper. It's over now.
Econ: Well, fortunately the opening music was good, though Shimmon prefers Everything in its Right Place to Like Spinning Plates in terms of live versions. But then it ended, and the test began. It wasn't all that hard, and it's being graded on the AP scale, so I have a good chance of doing well. However, the girl outside the window, the one who randomly strums her guitar, she played for a while, chords but no particular song, and I sat there thinking about marginal cost, and soon enough they blended into a song. The music stopped, but the words continued. And towards the end I thought about fruit, and then I was hungry.
After school we went to the SPCA (if you say it, it sounds like especie, a multilingual pun) to visit cats. And we brought one home. Her name is Pixel, and she lives in the bathroom for now, until she gets used to the smells of our household. Tigger wants In, and he scratches at the door, and Pixel answers. If I were into literary allusions, I'd say they were like Pyramus and Thisbe, but alas, I am not.
muzak: some song my sister keeps singing by Aaron Carter. It's about basketball, I think.
A BRIEF HISTORY OF MY HOUSE
The Cats of Line 1440
Montseurrat Cattelle (RIP 1987)
Kattia Ricciarelli (RIP 1995)
Halloween (RIP 2002)
Pulau Tigger
Pixel Tasera
The Computers of Line 1440 (from the time in which they adopted names in the Common Tongue)
Dusty
Dumb Object
Hal
Chaz
What I Will Name Future Cats
Flame
Schrodinger
Smeagol
Ellipsa
(for my former musings on the subject of baby names, see this entry)
muzak: The Presidents of the United States of America, "Peaches"
The Cats of Line 1440
Montseurrat Cattelle (RIP 1987)
Kattia Ricciarelli (RIP 1995)
Halloween (RIP 2002)
Pulau Tigger
Pixel Tasera
The Computers of Line 1440 (from the time in which they adopted names in the Common Tongue)
Dusty
Dumb Object
Hal
Chaz
What I Will Name Future Cats
Flame
Schrodinger
Smeagol
Ellipsa
(for my former musings on the subject of baby names, see this entry)
muzak: The Presidents of the United States of America, "Peaches"
A DEEP THOUGHT
[Public] Alex: Stupid restless masses.
[Public] Tigger chuckles slightly.
[Public] Kat: Restless masses?
[Public] Kat: Like light has no rest mass.
[Public] Kat: No, that's more like massless rests.
[Public] Alex: Stupid restless masses.
[Public] Tigger chuckles slightly.
[Public] Kat: Restless masses?
[Public] Kat: Like light has no rest mass.
[Public] Kat: No, that's more like massless rests.
tiistai, tammikuu 15
ADDENDUM TO THE SICK RHETORICAL QUESTION
But of course, the math teacher in question writes about Survivor and watches it, takes bets, etc., like any normal person does. I know there are snobs out there, butin terms of the TV I watch, I am the opposite of a snob. (Okay, soI avoid daytime TV. And talk shows. I have a little taste. But when it comes to Dawson's Creek and other shows, I just can't hold out.)
Now back to my regular programmed freaking out about calculus.
But of course, the math teacher in question writes about Survivor and watches it, takes bets, etc., like any normal person does. I know there are snobs out there, butin terms of the TV I watch, I am the opposite of a snob. (Okay, soI avoid daytime TV. And talk shows. I have a little taste. But when it comes to Dawson's Creek and other shows, I just can't hold out.)
Now back to my regular programmed freaking out about calculus.
ANDREA, YOU IGNORED MY NOTE
My piss-off of the minute.
Anyway, so my father mentioned that when he was buying catfood earlier today, he saw a black cat about a year old up for adoption. So thatinspired us to run off to the pet store to see cute black cat up for adoption. We instantly fell in love, except for my dad. Why? The cat's name was Toes. It was polydactyl, with six toes on its front paws. Who doesn't love a mutant that purrs? He commented, "Mutants are usually evil" and I agreed, but that's only if you ignore the lessons of Post-Modern Prometheus (and other modern classics of television.)
Is it sick that I read the blog of a math teacher?
My piss-off of the minute.
Anyway, so my father mentioned that when he was buying catfood earlier today, he saw a black cat about a year old up for adoption. So thatinspired us to run off to the pet store to see cute black cat up for adoption. We instantly fell in love, except for my dad. Why? The cat's name was Toes. It was polydactyl, with six toes on its front paws. Who doesn't love a mutant that purrs? He commented, "Mutants are usually evil" and I agreed, but that's only if you ignore the lessons of Post-Modern Prometheus (and other modern classics of television.)
Is it sick that I read the blog of a math teacher?
THE WITNESS OF MY PROGRESS
I had my Physics final today. That was better than I expected, except a lot of people seem to have had trouble with it. I wonder if I didn't catch some evil trick of Shapiro's, but it seemed straightforward to me. (A few questions I had to reread after I came up with an answer that didn't fit, but then I saw that I had left out a key word.) He left in a few gravitation questions; fortunately I remembered last year's equations. Gravitation is fun. [Did I just say that?]
After my final, I wandered around school for half an hour. Dropped by my reg, as little as I like them. More stimulating registry moments. Then I wandered some more, gave up on finding Andrea, and left her a note that I had gone to Meredith's to study econ. I went to Tower first, hoping to buy some music, but I realized too late I had forgotten my money. So I proceded onward to the bus. Of course, we didn't get much econ studying done...none, to be exact. But I did a lot of drawing on a magnadoodle, and that's what's really important.
muzak: U2, "Pride"
I had my Physics final today. That was better than I expected, except a lot of people seem to have had trouble with it. I wonder if I didn't catch some evil trick of Shapiro's, but it seemed straightforward to me. (A few questions I had to reread after I came up with an answer that didn't fit, but then I saw that I had left out a key word.) He left in a few gravitation questions; fortunately I remembered last year's equations. Gravitation is fun. [Did I just say that?]
After my final, I wandered around school for half an hour. Dropped by my reg, as little as I like them. More stimulating registry moments. Then I wandered some more, gave up on finding Andrea, and left her a note that I had gone to Meredith's to study econ. I went to Tower first, hoping to buy some music, but I realized too late I had forgotten my money. So I proceded onward to the bus. Of course, we didn't get much econ studying done...none, to be exact. But I did a lot of drawing on a magnadoodle, and that's what's really important.
muzak: U2, "Pride"
maanantai, tammikuu 14
YOU ASK ME FOR SOMETHING
The concept of senioritis bothers me. Why? I see the top 1% of my class, having just gotten into their colleges of choice, suddenly not doing any work at all. Finals start tomorrow. Do they care? No. James tells me he's decided to drop Physics because he called up Yale and they told him it wasn't necessary if he was going to major in graphic design or whatever the hell he's planning to do with his life. Yes, this is the guy with the top GPA in the class who has suddenly decided that Physics isn't worth his time. Why do I care that he's dropping? I shouldn't, but I look at the fact that he's got an A in the class as one of my investments. I have spent countless hours on the phone with him picking over problems and explaining solutions, something that requires me to actually put my thoughts on the subject into words, which is difficult for me. And after I've done all this for him without a complaint (or at least not as many as I'd usually give) he tells me that he's quitting the class because he thinks he's wasting my time. That's funny. Really funny.
Okay, and then there's Xi, another member of that exclusive club. Xi, who still calls me for help in the class, but "isn't worrying" much about her classes and grades in general. "You know," she giggles one day, "this is silly, but I dont have any incentive to work hard." Just the kind of attitude I'm sure Harvard would approve of. I have other examples of people who I think should be doing more, and I know it's no right of mine to say what they should and should not be doing, but still. I have to make an effort during finals to produce good scores on my exams and make sure I get an A in what I'd like to. I'm not dropping classes that i think aren't worth it halfway through my senior year, and I don't plan to. Because even though English isn't my favorite subject, even though I don't really want to take American D. next semester and actually try, I have hard classes, and I want colleges to take them seriously. And take me seriously.
I worry too much. Was that one of my resolutions? To stop worrying?
muzak: Sparklehorse, "Dead Opera Star"
The concept of senioritis bothers me. Why? I see the top 1% of my class, having just gotten into their colleges of choice, suddenly not doing any work at all. Finals start tomorrow. Do they care? No. James tells me he's decided to drop Physics because he called up Yale and they told him it wasn't necessary if he was going to major in graphic design or whatever the hell he's planning to do with his life. Yes, this is the guy with the top GPA in the class who has suddenly decided that Physics isn't worth his time. Why do I care that he's dropping? I shouldn't, but I look at the fact that he's got an A in the class as one of my investments. I have spent countless hours on the phone with him picking over problems and explaining solutions, something that requires me to actually put my thoughts on the subject into words, which is difficult for me. And after I've done all this for him without a complaint (or at least not as many as I'd usually give) he tells me that he's quitting the class because he thinks he's wasting my time. That's funny. Really funny.
Okay, and then there's Xi, another member of that exclusive club. Xi, who still calls me for help in the class, but "isn't worrying" much about her classes and grades in general. "You know," she giggles one day, "this is silly, but I dont have any incentive to work hard." Just the kind of attitude I'm sure Harvard would approve of. I have other examples of people who I think should be doing more, and I know it's no right of mine to say what they should and should not be doing, but still. I have to make an effort during finals to produce good scores on my exams and make sure I get an A in what I'd like to. I'm not dropping classes that i think aren't worth it halfway through my senior year, and I don't plan to. Because even though English isn't my favorite subject, even though I don't really want to take American D. next semester and actually try, I have hard classes, and I want colleges to take them seriously. And take me seriously.
I worry too much. Was that one of my resolutions? To stop worrying?
muzak: Sparklehorse, "Dead Opera Star"
BAHAHA
Oh god, I am absolutely dying after reading this LoTR "fanfic". It's been a really long time since I read anything good. I used to read X-Files fanfic all the time, a few years ago. Gossamer has some excellent stuff, if you know where to look. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I then developed a taste for slashfic- it's something different at least than what usually happens, but then that also got formulaic. Now I read a mixture, and I've expanded my tastes for other shows/books/movies. Anyway, if you haven't seen the link above, it's secret diaries of various characters encompassing the events of the movie. I found it amusing.
muzak: Weezer, "Buddy Holly"
Oh god, I am absolutely dying after reading this LoTR "fanfic". It's been a really long time since I read anything good. I used to read X-Files fanfic all the time, a few years ago. Gossamer has some excellent stuff, if you know where to look. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I then developed a taste for slashfic- it's something different at least than what usually happens, but then that also got formulaic. Now I read a mixture, and I've expanded my tastes for other shows/books/movies. Anyway, if you haven't seen the link above, it's secret diaries of various characters encompassing the events of the movie. I found it amusing.
muzak: Weezer, "Buddy Holly"
JANUARY 14
i was thinking about making a change and actually typing in capital letters. you see, right now i don't do that because when i type in my extremely awkward manner, it's difficult for me to hit the shift key. especially when one of my fingers is bandaged. but since i am officially getting a good grade in english, it might be nice to type unlike a moron. second of all, i am going to add more substance to my journal for a while by using some prompts along with my everyday ramblings. i want to be able to write better. and frankly, i like reading capital letters better than all lowercase. so as of right now, this is my last lowercase prompt. yes, it took seven months to get this far, but usually i pride myself in my better-than-average online typing. so.
i was thinking about making a change and actually typing in capital letters. you see, right now i don't do that because when i type in my extremely awkward manner, it's difficult for me to hit the shift key. especially when one of my fingers is bandaged. but since i am officially getting a good grade in english, it might be nice to type unlike a moron. second of all, i am going to add more substance to my journal for a while by using some prompts along with my everyday ramblings. i want to be able to write better. and frankly, i like reading capital letters better than all lowercase. so as of right now, this is my last lowercase prompt. yes, it took seven months to get this far, but usually i pride myself in my better-than-average online typing. so.
THIS IS A BAD THING
i have decided that i don't like bloggerbot. when i left chaz unattended this afternoon, karin decided to talk to some of my bots. she had a long conversation with bloggerbot that went something like this:
muzak: the beatles, "daytripper"
i have decided that i don't like bloggerbot. when i left chaz unattended this afternoon, karin decided to talk to some of my bots. she had a long conversation with bloggerbot that went something like this:
pailblusea: hi!!not realizing, of course, that each of those would be a separate post to my blog, so i had to clean it all up, and that was not "goodfun" at all.
pailblusea: what is this?
pailblusea: how are you?
pailblusea: how does this work
pailblusea: it's not saying anything
pailblusea: stupidd
pailblusea: yayfun
pailblusea: fun fun fun
pailblusea: goodfun
pailblusea: this is quifwehfeqwdfvghb
muzak: the beatles, "daytripper"
sunnuntai, tammikuu 13
HIGHER SIGNAL-TO-NOISE RATIO
this is what i have accomplished this evening:
Snoo, Shni, and Smess
by Katharine Magary
There were two countries, Snoo and Shni
That lay across the deep blue sea.
Each was small and each was merry
But their economic systems varied.
Snoo had a command economy, it did.
They followed what’ver the bureaucracy bid.
Each person earned same as their neighbor
But government took the fruits of their labor.
National health insurance they enjoyed.
Unemployment they tried to avoid.
They had a lot of collective goals
Like putting soup in everyone’s bowls.
Shni had a more traditional system.
Ethics, they didn’t want to risk ‘em.
Freedom and efficiency they didn’t got;
Heredity determined haves and haves not.
The leaders hated big machines,
And preferred cultivating beans.
Equity and security of mixed degree
That they had in the country of Shni.
Now there was Bob, a Snooian guy.
Sue from Shni, she loved him, aye.
But they had entrepreneurial abilities
That agreed with neither of their countries.
Bob said to Sue one fateful day
“Let’s elope to somewhere else, eh?”
So the two moved to a third country, Smess
Where they could start their own business.
Everyone acted in the interest of themselves
But there were many products on the shelves.
Entrepreneurs, workers and consumers,
Chose how many and how to make stuff like bloomers.
The invisible hand of the market was god.
A laissez-faire system left the government odd.
But when everyone could be a chooser
There was always a winner and always a loser.
Bob and Sue learned the very hard way
In a pure-market system, you gotta pay.
Individual needs are the law of the land,
So don’t try and mess with the invisible hand.
no sirree.
so at work i actually managed to avoid my coworkers all day. all day. the first two hours i spent at the info desk, reading a book and writing my rehire letter, talking about what a valuable experience my job is and such. then i ate lunch and went back to the floor for four more hours. i learned that a lot of them don't know my name; they think i'm sarah (david's cousin. she's one of the few who will talk to me). i also learned they're pyromaniacs. my locker-partner andrew was selling these patriotic pends that light up and also are lighters, and they were doing things like welding frisbees back together. who knows what dark things lurk in the minds of these people. who knows. at least there are a few normal people in the world. jamal visited before he has to go back to college, moaned about how bad the rearrangement of the museum is. he's nice; i just wish i could say the same about his sister and her friends.
muzak: madonna, "music"
this is what i have accomplished this evening:
floozyangle: el caminothat and more. i wrote a lovely poem about economics, which i will produce here.
pailblusea: yesss
floozyangle: legolas rocks
pailblusea: sure he does
floozyangle: yes
floozyangle: hes is hoyttt
Snoo, Shni, and Smess
by Katharine Magary
There were two countries, Snoo and Shni
That lay across the deep blue sea.
Each was small and each was merry
But their economic systems varied.
Snoo had a command economy, it did.
They followed what’ver the bureaucracy bid.
Each person earned same as their neighbor
But government took the fruits of their labor.
National health insurance they enjoyed.
Unemployment they tried to avoid.
They had a lot of collective goals
Like putting soup in everyone’s bowls.
Shni had a more traditional system.
Ethics, they didn’t want to risk ‘em.
Freedom and efficiency they didn’t got;
Heredity determined haves and haves not.
The leaders hated big machines,
And preferred cultivating beans.
Equity and security of mixed degree
That they had in the country of Shni.
Now there was Bob, a Snooian guy.
Sue from Shni, she loved him, aye.
But they had entrepreneurial abilities
That agreed with neither of their countries.
Bob said to Sue one fateful day
“Let’s elope to somewhere else, eh?”
So the two moved to a third country, Smess
Where they could start their own business.
Everyone acted in the interest of themselves
But there were many products on the shelves.
Entrepreneurs, workers and consumers,
Chose how many and how to make stuff like bloomers.
The invisible hand of the market was god.
A laissez-faire system left the government odd.
But when everyone could be a chooser
There was always a winner and always a loser.
Bob and Sue learned the very hard way
In a pure-market system, you gotta pay.
Individual needs are the law of the land,
So don’t try and mess with the invisible hand.
no sirree.
so at work i actually managed to avoid my coworkers all day. all day. the first two hours i spent at the info desk, reading a book and writing my rehire letter, talking about what a valuable experience my job is and such. then i ate lunch and went back to the floor for four more hours. i learned that a lot of them don't know my name; they think i'm sarah (david's cousin. she's one of the few who will talk to me). i also learned they're pyromaniacs. my locker-partner andrew was selling these patriotic pends that light up and also are lighters, and they were doing things like welding frisbees back together. who knows what dark things lurk in the minds of these people. who knows. at least there are a few normal people in the world. jamal visited before he has to go back to college, moaned about how bad the rearrangement of the museum is. he's nice; i just wish i could say the same about his sister and her friends.
muzak: madonna, "music"
lauantai, tammikuu 12
WELL IT GONNA RAIN LIKE SILVER
went to go see a beautiful mind today, sarah. so i saw your russell. i enjoyed the movie a lot, although having read the book, i can't say it showed all of nash's character. there was a lot more to him, not all of it good, but not all bad. interesting guy. i'll have to tell mr. shimmon about it, because he was interested in seeing the movie. later i went home and saw o brother, where art thou with my sister, because she had to analyze the references in it or something. my mother loved the music, so i put on my country cd for her, and she was excited about folk music or something.
yes, that's my mom for ya. leave it to her to enjoy my study materials.
muzak: "single girl, married girl"
went to go see a beautiful mind today, sarah. so i saw your russell. i enjoyed the movie a lot, although having read the book, i can't say it showed all of nash's character. there was a lot more to him, not all of it good, but not all bad. interesting guy. i'll have to tell mr. shimmon about it, because he was interested in seeing the movie. later i went home and saw o brother, where art thou with my sister, because she had to analyze the references in it or something. my mother loved the music, so i put on my country cd for her, and she was excited about folk music or something.
yes, that's my mom for ya. leave it to her to enjoy my study materials.
muzak: "single girl, married girl"
SERVER: HOW DO I HATE THEE?
i have spent the morning disliking servers: they can't get the electronic arena to work wihtout being overloaded, according to the mails they keep sending me. the fafsa thing told me i couldn't sign up because i already had a pin number, but when i then found my pin, it told me i didn't exist. tech support helped, though. and then, all morning, my own isp's server was having issues with itself and so i couldn't log on at all.
*sigh*
i got an email through the lyst about a cyanchat reunion. the guy made a list of ex-regulars who he needed to contact. i knew about half, having once been a regular (four years ago) but a lot of them i haven't seen in the past year. i hate breaking links. it's sad. but i suppose i'll attend the reunion if it's at the right time. and so forth.
muzak: boring baroque classical stuff. i hate baroque music.
i have spent the morning disliking servers: they can't get the electronic arena to work wihtout being overloaded, according to the mails they keep sending me. the fafsa thing told me i couldn't sign up because i already had a pin number, but when i then found my pin, it told me i didn't exist. tech support helped, though. and then, all morning, my own isp's server was having issues with itself and so i couldn't log on at all.
*sigh*
i got an email through the lyst about a cyanchat reunion. the guy made a list of ex-regulars who he needed to contact. i knew about half, having once been a regular (four years ago) but a lot of them i haven't seen in the past year. i hate breaking links. it's sad. but i suppose i'll attend the reunion if it's at the right time. and so forth.
muzak: boring baroque classical stuff. i hate baroque music.
perjantai, tammikuu 11
ANYONE CAN TELL YOU
i love being psychoanalyzed by silly little web exams. i also like the eels, but that's completely beside the point.
muzak: the beatles, "across the universe"
 | I am most like http://www.eiu.org. I am a very tongue-in-cheek person. It's often hard to tell if I'm being serious, |
 | My anthem is: "Electro-Shock Blues," by Eels. I'm a very giving person, which means I frequently cut myself short. Everyone sees me as being perfectly alright, without any huge problems of my own, but I beg to differ. Even when I ask for help, no one really believes me... I'm trying, but it's not easy. Find out what YOUR anthem is HERE! |
i love being psychoanalyzed by silly little web exams. i also like the eels, but that's completely beside the point.
muzak: the beatles, "across the universe"
torstai, tammikuu 10
HEYOH
and some tribal chantings.
final episode of survivor 3: i finally got something right! i finally bet on the right person! ethan was everything a survivor on the show should be, and he wasn't even scheming or whatever everyone else did. richard plotted out loud for all to hear, tina had her bitchy moments, but ethan was just a nice, though quiet, guy.
today was amusing. i'll write about it later as i'm eager to finish a book right now.
muzak: survivor theme
and some tribal chantings.
final episode of survivor 3: i finally got something right! i finally bet on the right person! ethan was everything a survivor on the show should be, and he wasn't even scheming or whatever everyone else did. richard plotted out loud for all to hear, tina had her bitchy moments, but ethan was just a nice, though quiet, guy.
today was amusing. i'll write about it later as i'm eager to finish a book right now.
muzak: survivor theme
keskiviikko, tammikuu 9
MAYBE THIS IS UNCLEAR
late post: blogger having server issues for the last 24 hours, hopefully fixed now.
so my dilemma: the competitions for acadeca and science bowl are the same day: february 2. so i have to decide which one to compete in. frankly, my interest in kicking albany and monta vista's ass had waned as i've grown to dislike dr. hill more and more, so i'd much rather not do science bowl. yet he was expecting me to be captain, and i think other people think that i'm the only person prepared at all. i'd feel as if i were letting my teammates down if i didn't compete. then again, i'd feel the same way if i had to not compete in aca deca, yet they'd have a better chance of replacing me. so i'm sort of stuck. i'll debate with myself a little more. please give me input. i appreciate it. (no more whinings of a non-athletic competition freak.)
as i walk around the house, there's something missing. i keep expecting to see him on the counter sitting on the intercom or the phone, on my scanner or printer, next to the heater vent, on the couch, table, desk, newspaper....everywhere that he wasn't supposed to be. i can't think of sitting in a chair and reading without his welcome intrusion into my quiet moment, begging to sit where my book is. i can't think of watching tv without him on my lap. i've found his old collar and i keep seeing black hairs on everything from before he stopped shedding. i miss my cat. i have to get over this.
becca came and visited lowell yesterday. it's the first visitor i've had in a while other than my sister last year when she was in eighth grade. i think she was mildly amused, and of course enjoyed seeing people i've mentioned to her. it's like meeting the cast of a play that's been described. (or in my case, like when i saw lotr, because i knew all the characters but not the plot.)
muzak: creed, "my sacrifice" (guilty pleasure song: i really shouldn't like this radio drivel)
late post: blogger having server issues for the last 24 hours, hopefully fixed now.
so my dilemma: the competitions for acadeca and science bowl are the same day: february 2. so i have to decide which one to compete in. frankly, my interest in kicking albany and monta vista's ass had waned as i've grown to dislike dr. hill more and more, so i'd much rather not do science bowl. yet he was expecting me to be captain, and i think other people think that i'm the only person prepared at all. i'd feel as if i were letting my teammates down if i didn't compete. then again, i'd feel the same way if i had to not compete in aca deca, yet they'd have a better chance of replacing me. so i'm sort of stuck. i'll debate with myself a little more. please give me input. i appreciate it. (no more whinings of a non-athletic competition freak.)
as i walk around the house, there's something missing. i keep expecting to see him on the counter sitting on the intercom or the phone, on my scanner or printer, next to the heater vent, on the couch, table, desk, newspaper....everywhere that he wasn't supposed to be. i can't think of sitting in a chair and reading without his welcome intrusion into my quiet moment, begging to sit where my book is. i can't think of watching tv without him on my lap. i've found his old collar and i keep seeing black hairs on everything from before he stopped shedding. i miss my cat. i have to get over this.
becca came and visited lowell yesterday. it's the first visitor i've had in a while other than my sister last year when she was in eighth grade. i think she was mildly amused, and of course enjoyed seeing people i've mentioned to her. it's like meeting the cast of a play that's been described. (or in my case, like when i saw lotr, because i knew all the characters but not the plot.)
muzak: creed, "my sacrifice" (guilty pleasure song: i really shouldn't like this radio drivel)
tiistai, tammikuu 8
tuesday
AND THE GREEN GRASS GROWS ALL AROUND
weenie died today. yes, i know it was a dumb name for a cat, but i loved him very much. he was getting really old. he had been losing weight for a few months and kind of stopped eating, and for a while he had been sitting in the front yard just staring at the street as if he were depressed. and then yesterday he started wheezing, and he was apathetic and hardly moved. so today the vet diagnosed him with kidney failure or something. he died there. we buried him before dinner, in the backyard between kattia and monseurrat.
i loved him though: he's been in the family since i was three. and we always had a special connection. i didn't really talk to him, he just sat with me all the time, even when no one else would. they say cats aren't loyal, but he was. he always sat with me when i was depressed and just sort of kept me warm and purred like my problems meant nothing, and that's i guess what i needed. and now he's gone. since i found out when i left school this afternoon i've been broken up about it, i guess. things remind me of him. i had to pick out a quote for his grave marker, and i kept seeing pictures of black cats, lines that reminded me of him, i started crying. i keep going into my room and doing this.
i don't want to be depressed anymore. i thought i got over that in december. i can't have more stress and then have my cat die in the middle and then start again. it's just not fair.
meanwhile i have another dilemma but i'll save it for later.
muzak: peter gabriel, "i grieve"
AND THE GREEN GRASS GROWS ALL AROUND
weenie died today. yes, i know it was a dumb name for a cat, but i loved him very much. he was getting really old. he had been losing weight for a few months and kind of stopped eating, and for a while he had been sitting in the front yard just staring at the street as if he were depressed. and then yesterday he started wheezing, and he was apathetic and hardly moved. so today the vet diagnosed him with kidney failure or something. he died there. we buried him before dinner, in the backyard between kattia and monseurrat.
i loved him though: he's been in the family since i was three. and we always had a special connection. i didn't really talk to him, he just sat with me all the time, even when no one else would. they say cats aren't loyal, but he was. he always sat with me when i was depressed and just sort of kept me warm and purred like my problems meant nothing, and that's i guess what i needed. and now he's gone. since i found out when i left school this afternoon i've been broken up about it, i guess. things remind me of him. i had to pick out a quote for his grave marker, and i kept seeing pictures of black cats, lines that reminded me of him, i started crying. i keep going into my room and doing this.
i don't want to be depressed anymore. i thought i got over that in december. i can't have more stress and then have my cat die in the middle and then start again. it's just not fair.
meanwhile i have another dilemma but i'll save it for later.
muzak: peter gabriel, "i grieve"
maanantai, tammikuu 7
I LEAD SUCH A DULL EXISTENCE
i have spent the evening slaving away over econ, being amused by boston public, pining for a new, better, registered ftp client, and taking a bunch of surveys for fun. today wasn't interesting; it was all pretty much back-to-business in my classes. next week are finals and also i go back to berkeley. oh, that should be good fun.
muzak: some song that's stuck in my head. i can sing it for you if you want. dunno the name though.
i have spent the evening slaving away over econ, being amused by boston public, pining for a new, better, registered ftp client, and taking a bunch of surveys for fun. today wasn't interesting; it was all pretty much back-to-business in my classes. next week are finals and also i go back to berkeley. oh, that should be good fun.
muzak: some song that's stuck in my head. i can sing it for you if you want. dunno the name though.
FOLLOWED BY THE SECOND AMUSING THING OF THE DAY
ad in bulletin:
muzak: tonic, "if you could only see"
ad in bulletin:
STANFORD HIGH SCHOOL ENRICHMENT PROGRAM (SHEP) is offering enrichment courses on five consecutive Saturdays starting February 2 and ending March 2, 2002. Classes will be held at Stanford and taught by Stanford students. Courses are available in computer science, mathematics, performing arts, science, liberal arts, hobbits, and social science. There is a $35 program fee, but financial aid is available. Discounts are given for groups of students registering. Students may pre-register online or on campus on January 26, 2002. Applications available in the VICCI center (Room 118) or online at http://www.stanford.edu/group/esp.i didn't know the vicci ladies, esp. mrs. reichardt, had a sense of humor.
muzak: tonic, "if you could only see"
FUN FOR EVERYONE
this is the most amusing thing i've found in a while. yes, i have fun easily.
too bad they get listed, because i was sort of careless in mine and made some grammatical errors, so to speak.
muzak: the strokes, "last night"
this is the most amusing thing i've found in a while. yes, i have fun easily.
too bad they get listed, because i was sort of careless in mine and made some grammatical errors, so to speak.
muzak: the strokes, "last night"
sunnuntai, tammikuu 6
GETTING ON BETTER WITH YOUR ASSOCIATE EMPLOYEE CONTEMPORARIES
i have come to an epiphany. (sorry for stealing your words sarah.) i hate my coworkers. 90% of them. i really do. they ruin a perfectly good job. it's not like the damn thing i was doing last summer, in which i liked the people but hated commuting and hated my tasks. no, this is like, i get in there and all i want to do is work. i especially dislike lunch, and i'd rather skip it. i will now list things about my coworkers that bug me, and do so in a rational way, lest i go crazy:
i have come to an epiphany. (sorry for stealing your words sarah.) i hate my coworkers. 90% of them. i really do. they ruin a perfectly good job. it's not like the damn thing i was doing last summer, in which i liked the people but hated commuting and hated my tasks. no, this is like, i get in there and all i want to do is work. i especially dislike lunch, and i'd rather skip it. i will now list things about my coworkers that bug me, and do so in a rational way, lest i go crazy:
- the newer people never talk to me, and when they do, it's as if i were younger, even though i am older than the majority of the people in my department.
- they give me an awful schedule. when i used to make the schedule, i didn't purposely pair people up with people they disliked. i just did it in a random fashion. plus they never read the sheet to see if i'm leaving early.
- certain people are cliquey and want me to leave the table because they think i'm weird or whatever, but they don't ask me to. instead they yelled at me for making a mess (usually it's them, leaving garbage everywhere, never putting things away, etc. but if i drop one crumb, they suddenly decide to take the side of the clean people. and i always clean up after everyone.)
- they sit around all day, and then no one's on the floor except me (because i hate being in the lounge with them all, there's no seat and then i feel stupid sitting on the floor or leaning against the wall.) so then i'm out answering everyone's questions and covering every area.
- no one even knows my name. dammit. i know everyone's name, and i'm not even an extrovert.
- blah blah blah.
- and those that aren't actively mean are too nice and then they stalk me. can't there be something in between?
lauantai, tammikuu 5
OR WHATEVER
spent the evening doing the following:
muzak: sheryl crow, "a change would do you good"
spent the evening doing the following:
- talking to people
- wasting time
- lamenting the fact that i missed watching teresa being voted off survivor (it was her time to go)
- wishing this world were just a dream and that it were all just a fantasy
- wanting to brandish a sword in the direction of telebears
- identifying arecibo for my parents, who are watching some james bond flick
muzak: sheryl crow, "a change would do you good"
SEE THE MIRROR BELOW
okay, so here's a summary of ferndale.
on wednesday we left the house and drove for a while. halfway through mendecino county, i got tired of reading dull articles on the history of the internet and so karin and i decided that our current location would make a great place to film a movie. i'll tell the plot some other time, as it is a long and complicated story. our only stop was a rest stop, at which my mother offered brownies to everyone including some stranger. the stranger gave us a funny look, probably suspecting we had baked pot into the brownies, as mendecino/humboldt counties are pot central. there's even a town called weed.
anyway, that lasted sometime up until we drove along the south fork of the eel river in humboldt. that's the farthest north i had been in california until then. eventually we reached ferndale, a "quaint, charming" victorian farming town about 10 miles from eureka. our temporary home: the victorian inn, where the cast of the majestic stayed for five weeks during filming. so i stayed in the same hotel as marita covarubbias!
the next day: walking around the town in antique shops, etc. buying crap. i got a poster of the kinetic sculpture race and some postcards. that is all i bought during my whole trip. i do like the town more than carmel, however. later that day we went to eureka, where i found the coolest second-hand store ever, objx, along with a lot of other not-so-interesting shops. we then visited arcata, which is like the berkeley of the north coast, and samoa, a former logging town with a family-style cookhouse.
the next day we drove up to redwood national park and took a hike to the lady bird johnson grove. there was hardly anyone in the park- we only saw about four other people. we also went to the beach there, though compared to beaches anywhere else, these are deserted- no one had been there for days. the beaches in humboldt are quiet, cold and filled with driftwood, which makes them look like graveyards. it's really eerie. that day i narrated our trip because i was bored and i had just finished reading fellowship of the rings so i was in that mood. i drove everyone crazy and i'm sure they had the urge to leave me in that grove to contemplate the majesty and scale of the trees. i'd have enjoyed that, but not for long. finally we drove up to del norte county and turned around a few miles later.
we left today. the end.
muzak: petula clark, "downtown"
okay, so here's a summary of ferndale.
on wednesday we left the house and drove for a while. halfway through mendecino county, i got tired of reading dull articles on the history of the internet and so karin and i decided that our current location would make a great place to film a movie. i'll tell the plot some other time, as it is a long and complicated story. our only stop was a rest stop, at which my mother offered brownies to everyone including some stranger. the stranger gave us a funny look, probably suspecting we had baked pot into the brownies, as mendecino/humboldt counties are pot central. there's even a town called weed.
anyway, that lasted sometime up until we drove along the south fork of the eel river in humboldt. that's the farthest north i had been in california until then. eventually we reached ferndale, a "quaint, charming" victorian farming town about 10 miles from eureka. our temporary home: the victorian inn, where the cast of the majestic stayed for five weeks during filming. so i stayed in the same hotel as marita covarubbias!
the next day: walking around the town in antique shops, etc. buying crap. i got a poster of the kinetic sculpture race and some postcards. that is all i bought during my whole trip. i do like the town more than carmel, however. later that day we went to eureka, where i found the coolest second-hand store ever, objx, along with a lot of other not-so-interesting shops. we then visited arcata, which is like the berkeley of the north coast, and samoa, a former logging town with a family-style cookhouse.
the next day we drove up to redwood national park and took a hike to the lady bird johnson grove. there was hardly anyone in the park- we only saw about four other people. we also went to the beach there, though compared to beaches anywhere else, these are deserted- no one had been there for days. the beaches in humboldt are quiet, cold and filled with driftwood, which makes them look like graveyards. it's really eerie. that day i narrated our trip because i was bored and i had just finished reading fellowship of the rings so i was in that mood. i drove everyone crazy and i'm sure they had the urge to leave me in that grove to contemplate the majesty and scale of the trees. i'd have enjoyed that, but not for long. finally we drove up to del norte county and turned around a few miles later.
we left today. the end.
muzak: petula clark, "downtown"
ON MY TECHNOLOGY DEPENDENCE
i immediately returned to san francisco, only to remove everything from the car and switch on my machine.
also: i sort of neglected to get a new comments service after my third one died. i hope this one doesn't. not that anyone leaves comments or anything, but...
muzak: grandaddy- under the western freeway
i immediately returned to san francisco, only to remove everything from the car and switch on my machine.
also: i sort of neglected to get a new comments service after my third one died. i hope this one doesn't. not that anyone leaves comments or anything, but...
muzak: grandaddy- under the western freeway
keskiviikko, tammikuu 2
THIS SONG IS ABOUT GETTING LOST IN THE MOUNTAINS
which hopefully i will not do. (i don't think ferndale is in the mountains. i might be wrong.)
karin has pledged to bother me for the next six hours since i've crossed her in some way.
muzak: radiohead, "i might be wrong"
which hopefully i will not do. (i don't think ferndale is in the mountains. i might be wrong.)
karin has pledged to bother me for the next six hours since i've crossed her in some way.
muzak: radiohead, "i might be wrong"
tiistai, tammikuu 1
A BRIEF EXPLANATION OF MY WHERABOUTS
i am in ferndale until saturday. bringing back postcards for those who asked and those who didn't ask. who the hell knows where this place is, other than my parents?
i am in ferndale until saturday. bringing back postcards for those who asked and those who didn't ask. who the hell knows where this place is, other than my parents?
THIS IS AN EX-PARROT
so i just spent the last few hours with my relatives at my mother's revival of her new year's dinner party. the fun ones came, not any boring ones, so that made me happy. bryan dropped his girlfriend at the airport (she had to go back to pasadena) and then came over with whitney. they're the cousins who are closest to my age, only four years older than me instead of like 18. still, everyone who came to the party got drunk and told silly stories except my sister and i, the permanent babies of the family. (born to the youngest siblings of their generation, who were also born late, etc.) well, not including baby katie, but she's only a year old. anyway, it was all hilarious stories about going into bars and clubs in the sixties in san francisco and chicago (almost all of my family is third-generation bay area, except for aunt eileen, who usually talks as much as the rest of us put together. she's from chicago. she makes sure we all know it.) stories about catholic school and those funny nuns, some girl in my uncle's class who, when hit with a ruler by one of the nuns, grabbed it back again and started hitting her teacher. she got expelled, but what else would you expect? anyway, after more stories about the hippie mechanic who only fixes volkswagons and grows pot in jars in the cars he's not fixing, we all went off and watched some comedies and stuff.
last night i was over at meredith's. we babysat until 10 or so until rachel and dylan went off to their own party (7-year-olds have more of a life than i do) and then sat around talking for a while. somewhere in there we watched a movie. (it took us 45 minutes to choose the damn thing. i now recall it being legally blonde. pretty amusing.) around quarter to new year's sarah's mom arrived, something she did not like very much, evidently. it'd bother me if my mother showed up too. anyway, we watched the switchover of nbc to channel 11 (although this channel was not accepted by mer's antenna). around 3 we went to bed. the end.
muzak: kfog's a-z beatles countdown
so i just spent the last few hours with my relatives at my mother's revival of her new year's dinner party. the fun ones came, not any boring ones, so that made me happy. bryan dropped his girlfriend at the airport (she had to go back to pasadena) and then came over with whitney. they're the cousins who are closest to my age, only four years older than me instead of like 18. still, everyone who came to the party got drunk and told silly stories except my sister and i, the permanent babies of the family. (born to the youngest siblings of their generation, who were also born late, etc.) well, not including baby katie, but she's only a year old. anyway, it was all hilarious stories about going into bars and clubs in the sixties in san francisco and chicago (almost all of my family is third-generation bay area, except for aunt eileen, who usually talks as much as the rest of us put together. she's from chicago. she makes sure we all know it.) stories about catholic school and those funny nuns, some girl in my uncle's class who, when hit with a ruler by one of the nuns, grabbed it back again and started hitting her teacher. she got expelled, but what else would you expect? anyway, after more stories about the hippie mechanic who only fixes volkswagons and grows pot in jars in the cars he's not fixing, we all went off and watched some comedies and stuff.
last night i was over at meredith's. we babysat until 10 or so until rachel and dylan went off to their own party (7-year-olds have more of a life than i do) and then sat around talking for a while. somewhere in there we watched a movie. (it took us 45 minutes to choose the damn thing. i now recall it being legally blonde. pretty amusing.) around quarter to new year's sarah's mom arrived, something she did not like very much, evidently. it'd bother me if my mother showed up too. anyway, we watched the switchover of nbc to channel 11 (although this channel was not accepted by mer's antenna). around 3 we went to bed. the end.
muzak: kfog's a-z beatles countdown
AND SO I MOVE ON INTO THE YEAR OF
my graduation.
for in five months and a few days i will no longer be a high school student. i will be legally old. i'll move on in the world and whatever and stuff. a list of things that they say might happen to me in college:
i will try to avoid these things as much as possible.
muzak: billy idol, "white wedding"
my graduation.
for in five months and a few days i will no longer be a high school student. i will be legally old. i'll move on in the world and whatever and stuff. a list of things that they say might happen to me in college:
- die of toaster electrocution.
- locked out of dorm with no key. every night.
- leave the lights on or something.
- get kidnapped.
- join a cult.
i will try to avoid these things as much as possible.
muzak: billy idol, "white wedding"