Home
FAQ
Cast
Characters
Writing
Dheluast
Links
Contact
SWF seeks ???: Katharine Magary, 19, student in Pasadena. Likes beach walks at sunset, sing-song poetry, constructed languages and geology. INTP. Foot mutant and keeper of the Devil's Haircut. Will not pay your rent on minimum wage.
Contact info:
email: email
AIM: pailblusea
ICQ: 12670431
Y!: durlomiel
We are not
Archives:
< webloggers >
< # Bay Area Webloggers ? >
< 1% Bloggers >
< # TEXTOHOLICS ? >
< # Scattered Tongues ? >
< ? California Blogs # >
< # blog girls ? >
sunnuntai, syyskuu 30
I FEEL SCREWED UP
after taking this personality test. it says i am a cold-hearted, mentally anguished person who never talks.
EXTRAVERSION...............1
..Friendliness.............13
..Gregariousness...........0
..Assertiveness............40
..Activity Level...........84
..Excitement-Seeking.......15
..Cheerfulness.............0
Your score on Extraversion is low, indicating you are introverted, reserved, and quiet. You enjoy solitude and solitary activities. Your socializing tends to be restricted to a few close friends.
AGREEABLENESS..............62
..Trust....................19
..Morality.................82
..Altruism.................79
..Cooperation..............27
..Modesty..................82
..Sympathy.................77
Your level of Agreeableness is average, indicating some concern with others' Needs, but, generally, unwillingness to sacrifice yourself for others.
CONSCIENTIOUSNESS..........44
..Self-Efficacy............19
..Orderliness..............32
..Dutifulness..............42
..Achievement-Striving.....73
..Self-Discipline..........12
..Cautiousness.............84
Your score on Conscientiousness is average. This means you are reasonably reliable, organized, and self-controlled.
NEUROTICISM................99
..Anxiety..................98
..Anger....................87
..Depression...............99
..Self-Consciousness.......89
..Immoderation.............75
..Vulnerability............96
Your score on Neuroticism is high, indicating that you are easily upset, even by what most people consider the normal demands of living. People consider you to be sensitive and emotional.
OPENNESS TO EXPERIENCE.....78
..Imagination..............75
..Artistic Interests.......79
..Emotionality.............73
..Adventurousness..........1
..Intellect................86
..Liberalism...............95
Your score on Openness to Experience is high, indicating you enjoy novelty, variety, and change. You are curious, imaginative, and creative.
after taking this personality test. it says i am a cold-hearted, mentally anguished person who never talks.
EXTRAVERSION...............1
..Friendliness.............13
..Gregariousness...........0
..Assertiveness............40
..Activity Level...........84
..Excitement-Seeking.......15
..Cheerfulness.............0
Your score on Extraversion is low, indicating you are introverted, reserved, and quiet. You enjoy solitude and solitary activities. Your socializing tends to be restricted to a few close friends.
AGREEABLENESS..............62
..Trust....................19
..Morality.................82
..Altruism.................79
..Cooperation..............27
..Modesty..................82
..Sympathy.................77
Your level of Agreeableness is average, indicating some concern with others' Needs, but, generally, unwillingness to sacrifice yourself for others.
CONSCIENTIOUSNESS..........44
..Self-Efficacy............19
..Orderliness..............32
..Dutifulness..............42
..Achievement-Striving.....73
..Self-Discipline..........12
..Cautiousness.............84
Your score on Conscientiousness is average. This means you are reasonably reliable, organized, and self-controlled.
NEUROTICISM................99
..Anxiety..................98
..Anger....................87
..Depression...............99
..Self-Consciousness.......89
..Immoderation.............75
..Vulnerability............96
Your score on Neuroticism is high, indicating that you are easily upset, even by what most people consider the normal demands of living. People consider you to be sensitive and emotional.
OPENNESS TO EXPERIENCE.....78
..Imagination..............75
..Artistic Interests.......79
..Emotionality.............73
..Adventurousness..........1
..Intellect................86
..Liberalism...............95
Your score on Openness to Experience is high, indicating you enjoy novelty, variety, and change. You are curious, imaginative, and creative.
I HAVE SEEN PEOPLE
today at the museum they were having robot competitions. this was all in good fun. it was also rather amusing. mostly this involved sumo wrestling, like they do on treasure island. they also had races. other people were there, like from nasa and snoy and so forth, showing their wares. i saw marcus, who i worked with over the summer, and said hi. i would like to learn to build a robot. it would be jolly.
at about 3, violeta and i went to the mit information session, which i have to say was a lot less intimdating than the one i went to at the school last year. the video was humorous. there i saw jessica from my reg, alison (the annoyong chorus girl), and jay. the coincidences never end.
today at the museum they were having robot competitions. this was all in good fun. it was also rather amusing. mostly this involved sumo wrestling, like they do on treasure island. they also had races. other people were there, like from nasa and snoy and so forth, showing their wares. i saw marcus, who i worked with over the summer, and said hi. i would like to learn to build a robot. it would be jolly.
at about 3, violeta and i went to the mit information session, which i have to say was a lot less intimdating than the one i went to at the school last year. the video was humorous. there i saw jessica from my reg, alison (the annoyong chorus girl), and jay. the coincidences never end.
lauantai, syyskuu 29
I ROX
i got up today, had pancakes, took a shower. by noon+30, i started finishing a movie. finished. called james back, did fizzix over the phone for two hours. watched taped dark angel from last night. it was good. went online. karin came back from monterey. learned how to map images. watched along came a spider. the end.
i got up today, had pancakes, took a shower. by noon+30, i started finishing a movie. finished. called james back, did fizzix over the phone for two hours. watched taped dark angel from last night. it was good. went online. karin came back from monterey. learned how to map images. watched along came a spider. the end.
perjantai, syyskuu 28
THE CONTENTS OF MY ARM
don't ask me what some of this stuff means. it is just written there.
CRY, The Beloved Country
BMRC
BB
SH
SR
How do you get your ideas?
Apps for Andrea!
|EMERGENCY CARD|
$2
$3.15
don't ask me what some of this stuff means. it is just written there.
FINALLY, SOMEONE LET ME OUT OF MY CAGE
i am finally done with that stupid application. now, on to colleges.
i wanted to go to the virgin sale today, but i went and it turned out that the sale was only for select titles, which i either didn't want or already owned. so i sat around in the store for a while, looked at imports and new releases (i love record stores) and finally found a kewliezzz t-shirt. but now i'll have to go to amoeba or something. or to mod lang, which is my new favorite record store ever.
my grade in calculus is actually above average. this makes me so happy.
i am finally done with that stupid application. now, on to colleges.
i wanted to go to the virgin sale today, but i went and it turned out that the sale was only for select titles, which i either didn't want or already owned. so i sat around in the store for a while, looked at imports and new releases (i love record stores) and finally found a kewliezzz t-shirt. but now i'll have to go to amoeba or something. or to mod lang, which is my new favorite record store ever.
my grade in calculus is actually above average. this makes me so happy.
torstai, syyskuu 27
COMO DE COSTUMBRE
my conclusion sounds contrived. i spent the last seven hours doing the stupid essay. i hope they're happy. but if fontaine can't get past finalist, what about me?
i just watched csi though. yay for me! it was good. i look forward to a good season of tv.
my conclusion sounds contrived. i spent the last seven hours doing the stupid essay. i hope they're happy. but if fontaine can't get past finalist, what about me?
i just watched csi though. yay for me! it was good. i look forward to a good season of tv.
I TRY, PART 45
this is my last chance to write this stupid essay. so i'm using the same one as i always write.
one's ideas are not supposed to stagnate at the age of 17, are they?
this is my last chance to write this stupid essay. so i'm using the same one as i always write.
one's ideas are not supposed to stagnate at the age of 17, are they?
keskiviikko, syyskuu 26
SHNI
i hate the math department. in particular, the calculus teachers.
if they don't believe in math taught by other people, and don't believe in physics math, and don't believe in the book, why the hell don't they just write their own book? but what pisses me off more is that they have arbitrary rules on tests of what you should and shouldn't prove, what to include in your proof, what the correct notation (among however many are generally accepted) is for something, and so forth. and so on.
anyway. let's not mention my math grade for now, shall we? (but it is not very different from that of xi, which is a fact that makes me happy, because if mine is the same, and it's a law that she can't get lower than an a, that means what for me?) however, i got 100 on my fizzix test. so i am happee.
class meeting: once yearly. heard speakers talk about graduation, prom, etc. hilarious point: xi mentioning something in the skit about seeing "the hot toby frankenstein!" heh. maybe he'll un-quit our class. whatever. he pisses me off. so does xi. wow, they should be a couple or something. blah blah blah. senior events: boat dance replacement=masquerade ball on treasure island. w00t. i can't wait. i need a good costume now. prom: at the regency building, which is nice, evidently. maybe i'll go this year.
class with timothy ferris tonight: japanese food, him recounting more stories to us, talking about writing. not difficult. embarrassing, because for the field trip next week, i'm the only person who can't sign his/her own waiver.
i hate the math department. in particular, the calculus teachers.
if they don't believe in math taught by other people, and don't believe in physics math, and don't believe in the book, why the hell don't they just write their own book? but what pisses me off more is that they have arbitrary rules on tests of what you should and shouldn't prove, what to include in your proof, what the correct notation (among however many are generally accepted) is for something, and so forth. and so on.
anyway. let's not mention my math grade for now, shall we? (but it is not very different from that of xi, which is a fact that makes me happy, because if mine is the same, and it's a law that she can't get lower than an a, that means what for me?) however, i got 100 on my fizzix test. so i am happee.
class meeting: once yearly. heard speakers talk about graduation, prom, etc. hilarious point: xi mentioning something in the skit about seeing "the hot toby frankenstein!" heh. maybe he'll un-quit our class. whatever. he pisses me off. so does xi. wow, they should be a couple or something. blah blah blah. senior events: boat dance replacement=masquerade ball on treasure island. w00t. i can't wait. i need a good costume now. prom: at the regency building, which is nice, evidently. maybe i'll go this year.
class with timothy ferris tonight: japanese food, him recounting more stories to us, talking about writing. not difficult. embarrassing, because for the field trip next week, i'm the only person who can't sign his/her own waiver.
tiistai, syyskuu 25
MORALISTIC
karin just gave me a handout that she got from school about medical explorers, a club i plan to join if only for the chance to see a real live (dead?) cadaver.
karin just gave me a handout that she got from school about medical explorers, a club i plan to join if only for the chance to see a real live (dead?) cadaver.
BIRDS
i have never known a physics test to be so very frustrating before. i sat there for half an hour trying to figure out part of a problem, and nothing came to me. since there were only two problems on the whole test, i then figured i should continue with the rest. the second one took me approximately five minutes, so i went back, erased everything, and graphed it. five minutes later, i had the answer.
yes, i need a brain transplant. immediately.
i am having a good day, other than the stupid brain freeze in fizzix. because:
TODAY I GOT TO MEET MY COUNSELOR.
finally. it took the first month of school to get this far, but now we met for the first time. me telling her that yes, i did have five classes, and i didn't want to fail registry or whatever would happen to me. thus, i found her in her office after stopping by like every five minutes, and talked to her. she was very nice. i have an appointment to talk to her about colleges on thursday. woo.
[insert comment dissing people who have access to their counselors 24/7, like private school people. *hint hint* and make comment about mr. shimmon making fun of private schools and such. all in good fun.]
so after a lively discussion with meredith and andrea about where to apply to college, from which came a list of places to apply, covered with post-its only to be uncovered in june, i went to the history office and exercised my self-control by sitting next to a piece of chocolate mousse cake for an hour, with no one else in the office, and no one to care. i was hungry, but i'm sure some underpaid teacher would have liked it more. an hour later, diane beged mr. worth to give it to her, and she ate it without giving me any. the moral of the story is: don't be moral. then she told me that i was going to join academic decathalon or else, and dragged me off to the mall for an hour before the meeting. i went to borders, found some music that i desperately need but never knew it.
at the meeting, i sat around for a bit not knowing whether or not i should be there, because i always thought it was a sort of invite-only thing, like dr. hill likes science bowl to be. (speaking of which, we need another smart junior. but that's irrelevant.) anyway, there's a lot more people, and it's not such a stuffy atmosphere. even stephanie is not so uptight. so we discussed the book we have to read, how to win statewide by giving the other teams pot, and conservative organizations that run this type of thing. very productive.
i have never known a physics test to be so very frustrating before. i sat there for half an hour trying to figure out part of a problem, and nothing came to me. since there were only two problems on the whole test, i then figured i should continue with the rest. the second one took me approximately five minutes, so i went back, erased everything, and graphed it. five minutes later, i had the answer.
yes, i need a brain transplant. immediately.
i am having a good day, other than the stupid brain freeze in fizzix. because:
TODAY I GOT TO MEET MY COUNSELOR.
finally. it took the first month of school to get this far, but now we met for the first time. me telling her that yes, i did have five classes, and i didn't want to fail registry or whatever would happen to me. thus, i found her in her office after stopping by like every five minutes, and talked to her. she was very nice. i have an appointment to talk to her about colleges on thursday. woo.
[insert comment dissing people who have access to their counselors 24/7, like private school people. *hint hint* and make comment about mr. shimmon making fun of private schools and such. all in good fun.]
so after a lively discussion with meredith and andrea about where to apply to college, from which came a list of places to apply, covered with post-its only to be uncovered in june, i went to the history office and exercised my self-control by sitting next to a piece of chocolate mousse cake for an hour, with no one else in the office, and no one to care. i was hungry, but i'm sure some underpaid teacher would have liked it more. an hour later, diane beged mr. worth to give it to her, and she ate it without giving me any. the moral of the story is: don't be moral. then she told me that i was going to join academic decathalon or else, and dragged me off to the mall for an hour before the meeting. i went to borders, found some music that i desperately need but never knew it.
at the meeting, i sat around for a bit not knowing whether or not i should be there, because i always thought it was a sort of invite-only thing, like dr. hill likes science bowl to be. (speaking of which, we need another smart junior. but that's irrelevant.) anyway, there's a lot more people, and it's not such a stuffy atmosphere. even stephanie is not so uptight. so we discussed the book we have to read, how to win statewide by giving the other teams pot, and conservative organizations that run this type of thing. very productive.
maanantai, syyskuu 24
THIS BOTHERS ME
maybe someday i will get used to the fact that my left contact is just naturally itchy, being astigmatic and all.
maybe someday i will get used to the fact that my left contact is just naturally itchy, being astigmatic and all.
LET'S SEE WHO WANTS ME
university of puget sound (#19 or 20)
olin college of engineering (silverposter tube this time)
whitman college
university of oregon
university of california (it's about time. i've gotten less stuff overall from uc than from ups. sad, especially since i'm attending it currently.)
in other news: james just called me to ask for help with his physics. that's so kyute.
university of puget sound (#19 or 20)
olin college of engineering (silverposter tube this time)
whitman college
university of oregon
university of california (it's about time. i've gotten less stuff overall from uc than from ups. sad, especially since i'm attending it currently.)
in other news: james just called me to ask for help with his physics. that's so kyute.
THE WORLD HAS TURNED AND LEFT ME
today has not been a good day. it started with me tripping over my stuff in the dark when i got out of bed, and from there it was all downhill.
first of all, i had two tests. that's never a good thing. the calculus test, for which i studied about five hours last night, was difficult, some creation of the evil math twins to give us all hell. no one liked it very much. you wonder who cares about problems like:
if f(x)=tan(5x), what is limh-->0 [tan(5x+h)+tan(5x)]/h ?
beats me.
then i had an economics test, which i didn't study for at all. it was easy, though, except i found myself wondering in the middle: what does the ppf look like if the production of ho-hos and ding-dongs uses the same resources? it's a straight line; i hope that's what i put.
meanwhile, on friday i got a note saying i'd get a counseliing f if i didn't have a legal schedule (five classes), so i had to go see my counselor today. any of them would have done, but out of four people, none were available. instead, i sat there and waited and helped emily with her math homework.
finally, i left lowell. then came the fun part: my bart train was ten minutes late, so i had to run to get to class on time at the other end. then on the way back, i missed my bus. it left just as i got to the stop. after waiting half an hour, another one came, but by this time i was hungry. i got on muni, and was stopped at powell: there was a bomb threat, and they had to evacuate. freaked out, i went upstairs and caught the 6, which is still hella slow and has bad brakes.
did i mention it was raining and i had no umbrella?
today has not been a good day. it started with me tripping over my stuff in the dark when i got out of bed, and from there it was all downhill.
first of all, i had two tests. that's never a good thing. the calculus test, for which i studied about five hours last night, was difficult, some creation of the evil math twins to give us all hell. no one liked it very much. you wonder who cares about problems like:
if f(x)=tan(5x), what is limh-->0 [tan(5x+h)+tan(5x)]/h ?
beats me.
then i had an economics test, which i didn't study for at all. it was easy, though, except i found myself wondering in the middle: what does the ppf look like if the production of ho-hos and ding-dongs uses the same resources? it's a straight line; i hope that's what i put.
meanwhile, on friday i got a note saying i'd get a counseliing f if i didn't have a legal schedule (five classes), so i had to go see my counselor today. any of them would have done, but out of four people, none were available. instead, i sat there and waited and helped emily with her math homework.
finally, i left lowell. then came the fun part: my bart train was ten minutes late, so i had to run to get to class on time at the other end. then on the way back, i missed my bus. it left just as i got to the stop. after waiting half an hour, another one came, but by this time i was hungry. i got on muni, and was stopped at powell: there was a bomb threat, and they had to evacuate. freaked out, i went upstairs and caught the 6, which is still hella slow and has bad brakes.
did i mention it was raining and i had no umbrella?
sunnuntai, syyskuu 23
HOW TRUE
today dar decided that we all needed to have a touchy-feely talk about the crisis, almost two week later. she pulled out some xeroxes of papers of a recently-developed curriculUm about terrorism, or something like that, made up in the past few days. this was an example of one lesson from it: about misplaced blame. that is one thing i find fundamentally wrong with people who blame america for what has happened. it's not like all of us have any say in it; for instance, i can't vote yet.
The Axis alliance of this war: Extreme fundamentalist Muslims who hate America, extreme fundamentalist Christians (read: Falwell) who hate what America has become, and extreme fundamentalist liberals who want to blame America for what has befallen it. They're all dangerous lunatics. Shouldn't we in the media be exposing and and ridiculing these kooks and cults? Isn't that in our job description? -Jeff Jarvis
today dar decided that we all needed to have a touchy-feely talk about the crisis, almost two week later. she pulled out some xeroxes of papers of a recently-developed curriculUm about terrorism, or something like that, made up in the past few days. this was an example of one lesson from it: about misplaced blame. that is one thing i find fundamentally wrong with people who blame america for what has happened. it's not like all of us have any say in it; for instance, i can't vote yet.
lauantai, syyskuu 22
OBSERVATION
leci gave karin some pictures from some birthday party long long ago the other day. i look about nine in the pictures. and you know what i discovered?
i was just as ugly then as i am now(!)
this makes me rejoice. because it means that there is not something in the water that is an uglifying agent. i shall notify the epa.
leci gave karin some pictures from some birthday party long long ago the other day. i look about nine in the pictures. and you know what i discovered?
i was just as ugly then as i am now(!)
this makes me rejoice. because it means that there is not something in the water that is an uglifying agent. i shall notify the epa.
THE ANTS ARE A BLOWIN' IN THE WIND
i went to dinner at my grandma's tonight. i find places that require ties rather funny, especially those that provide really clashy ones at the door. like ones with like polka dots all over them.
it reminds me of when i used to have to go to midweeklies, the ballroom dancing classes, in sixth grade. it was one of those private-school things. i hated it, because i had like one friend in the section i was in, and i didn't know any guys, so i always ended up with the rejects with sweaty hands who gave me creepy looks. i was also rather unfond of the society's antiquated notions about girls wearing gloves, for instance, a rule that actually turned out to be useful as a perspiration barrier. but what got me the most was that during the break, the guys had to lead us into another room and ask us if we would like pepsi or 7-up, and would we like a cookie? they were nasty cookies, and i didn't like soda at that point, but we weren't allowed to say no. then we'd have to balance the soda and cookie in one hand while our partner would lead us into the other room by the other. one time, however, i forgot my gloves, horror of horrors, and thus i had to actually touch the guy's gross paw, because the gloves they privided for me were holey.
needless to say, i did not return the next year.
i went to dinner at my grandma's tonight. i find places that require ties rather funny, especially those that provide really clashy ones at the door. like ones with like polka dots all over them.
it reminds me of when i used to have to go to midweeklies, the ballroom dancing classes, in sixth grade. it was one of those private-school things. i hated it, because i had like one friend in the section i was in, and i didn't know any guys, so i always ended up with the rejects with sweaty hands who gave me creepy looks. i was also rather unfond of the society's antiquated notions about girls wearing gloves, for instance, a rule that actually turned out to be useful as a perspiration barrier. but what got me the most was that during the break, the guys had to lead us into another room and ask us if we would like pepsi or 7-up, and would we like a cookie? they were nasty cookies, and i didn't like soda at that point, but we weren't allowed to say no. then we'd have to balance the soda and cookie in one hand while our partner would lead us into the other room by the other. one time, however, i forgot my gloves, horror of horrors, and thus i had to actually touch the guy's gross paw, because the gloves they privided for me were holey.
needless to say, i did not return the next year.
VERSION 3.0
anyone unhappy with this color combo?
don't look too hard at the archives, though, because i haven't republished them yet, so they are still blinding.
anyone unhappy with this color combo?
don't look too hard at the archives, though, because i haven't republished them yet, so they are still blinding.
perjantai, syyskuu 21
CURRENTNESS
watching: the luzhin defense
surfing: batz in the belfry
listening: alanis morissette, "joining you"
thinking: of a better color scheme
watching: the luzhin defense
surfing: batz in the belfry
listening: alanis morissette, "joining you"
thinking: of a better color scheme
SELF-CENSORSHIP
an article including clear channel's list of suggested songs to take off radio playlists.
this list bothers me deeply. i understand some of the more violent songs may make people think about the crisis and such, but some just have a word like 'fire' or 'fly' or 'fall' in the title and are considered bad. and some are just about peace. so is clear channel trying to send us a message that there shouldn't be anti-war protests or something, because we should be patriotic?
bah.
an article including clear channel's list of suggested songs to take off radio playlists.
this list bothers me deeply. i understand some of the more violent songs may make people think about the crisis and such, but some just have a word like 'fire' or 'fly' or 'fall' in the title and are considered bad. and some are just about peace. so is clear channel trying to send us a message that there shouldn't be anti-war protests or something, because we should be patriotic?
bah.
torstai, syyskuu 20
MOD UPDATE
well, back-to-school/parents' night seemed to be quite lively. i spent most of the time avoiding shield and scroll officers, doing labs and stuff in the physics room. it was quite enjoyable. at first i was just doing an experiment with james, but pretty soon, we had about seven people in our group. actually, before that, i was playing greek tic-tac-toe with diane and explaining some stuff to james at the same time (which prompted diane to comment on "how cute we were". later in the evening, andrea acknowledged the same thing, but then retracted her statement, claiming that i was lying again.)
anyhey. after being yelled at for, you know, the fifth time that night, this time by charisse, i talked to some other members. mostly everyone, including charisse, thinks that xi is being a bitch about this all. i got charisse to take five mods off, because she didn't think xi was being reasonable in giving me a penalty for having to go to class. normally i think charisse is a brain dead ditz, but my opinion of her shot up this evening.
after finishing my physics, i hung out for a while longer in the lab, talking to jennifer and cecilia, and then left and hid in the journ room with some hallway refugees, namely ben and max, who evidently weren't supposed to talk to each other because it might make parents not want to talk to them, which is total bs, along with matt and james and philana. we discussed renaming the lowell to something more interesting, or slightly more creative. it can't get much worse than that. we also talked about the fact that they made spirit week un-competitive this year because they thought competition was inappropriate after last week's events. this also made them cancel the senior skit, thw whole point of the rally, and replace it with the orchestra playing "america the beautiful". if they're going to do this, why not just replace everything with a bunch of moments of silence? it'd be easier overall.
well, back-to-school/parents' night seemed to be quite lively. i spent most of the time avoiding shield and scroll officers, doing labs and stuff in the physics room. it was quite enjoyable. at first i was just doing an experiment with james, but pretty soon, we had about seven people in our group. actually, before that, i was playing greek tic-tac-toe with diane and explaining some stuff to james at the same time (which prompted diane to comment on "how cute we were". later in the evening, andrea acknowledged the same thing, but then retracted her statement, claiming that i was lying again.)
anyhey. after being yelled at for, you know, the fifth time that night, this time by charisse, i talked to some other members. mostly everyone, including charisse, thinks that xi is being a bitch about this all. i got charisse to take five mods off, because she didn't think xi was being reasonable in giving me a penalty for having to go to class. normally i think charisse is a brain dead ditz, but my opinion of her shot up this evening.
after finishing my physics, i hung out for a while longer in the lab, talking to jennifer and cecilia, and then left and hid in the journ room with some hallway refugees, namely ben and max, who evidently weren't supposed to talk to each other because it might make parents not want to talk to them, which is total bs, along with matt and james and philana. we discussed renaming the lowell to something more interesting, or slightly more creative. it can't get much worse than that. we also talked about the fact that they made spirit week un-competitive this year because they thought competition was inappropriate after last week's events. this also made them cancel the senior skit, thw whole point of the rally, and replace it with the orchestra playing "america the beautiful". if they're going to do this, why not just replace everything with a bunch of moments of silence? it'd be easier overall.
DOES SHE SEE ME?
tonight i will be at parents' night, working in the physics lab, just as i signed up to do.
of course, xi asked me about this earlier today, and if it really meant that much to me. i said yes, it did, because she had assigned me to work down by the t's with two other people. well, i can tell you that my idea of a fun evening, or even one doing service to the school, does not involve sitting and freezing in the dark outside some portable classrooms when instead i could be doing fun experiments. she looked kind of mad, and i added that she really did have a surplus of workers, especially since all the government people would be working as well. she did acknowledge this, and said yes, but it's more about the symbolic aspects of being with the whole group. my ass. why would i want to waste all that time? she was making me out to be some sort of lazy person who didn't care about the society at all. i mentioned all the mods i did during the summer, 36 to be exact, that was making up for the people who hadn't done their own work. now it turns out those were optional, not required, as she originally told me. but they don't carry over, so i wasted three days of the last week of my summer.
this is all very frustrating. i'm thinking about organizing a strike, or taking it to the sponsors, or quitting the whole thing entirely.
tonight i will be at parents' night, working in the physics lab, just as i signed up to do.
of course, xi asked me about this earlier today, and if it really meant that much to me. i said yes, it did, because she had assigned me to work down by the t's with two other people. well, i can tell you that my idea of a fun evening, or even one doing service to the school, does not involve sitting and freezing in the dark outside some portable classrooms when instead i could be doing fun experiments. she looked kind of mad, and i added that she really did have a surplus of workers, especially since all the government people would be working as well. she did acknowledge this, and said yes, but it's more about the symbolic aspects of being with the whole group. my ass. why would i want to waste all that time? she was making me out to be some sort of lazy person who didn't care about the society at all. i mentioned all the mods i did during the summer, 36 to be exact, that was making up for the people who hadn't done their own work. now it turns out those were optional, not required, as she originally told me. but they don't carry over, so i wasted three days of the last week of my summer.
this is all very frustrating. i'm thinking about organizing a strike, or taking it to the sponsors, or quitting the whole thing entirely.
keskiviikko, syyskuu 19
ALEX-
you will appreciate the fact that i am thinking about changing the background of my page. if my vision with contacts stays the way it is now, that #FF0000 suuuure is blinding.
you will appreciate the fact that i am thinking about changing the background of my page. if my vision with contacts stays the way it is now, that #FF0000 suuuure is blinding.
The Shadow
the above was written from a backbone timeline for an english assignment in which i was supposed to use diction and details to set tone.
i can't write. god help me.
6 feet long- Lowell’s army of players moves to the fields. The football players begin their drills, with varsity lining up in the stadium and junior varsity banned to the soccer fields. Two dancing posses, one of juniors and one of seniors, dance in preparation for Friday’s festivities. Meanwhile, on the basketball court, the games begin.
7 feet long- Some sophomore girls quietly slips in, setting down their radio and glancing toward us. The rap music shakes the courtyard. The football players toss their ball rapidly; the dancers sway and spin methodically in their dance. A small group of men huddle then separate into teams for basketball.
10 feet long- The dancers quickly retreat, and the music stops. The whack and thump of football players colliding is interspersed with silence. Occasionally, the slapping of the basketball against the pavement echoes metallically.
13 feet long- The ground shakes; the rumble growing louder by the second. A herd of runners passes by, momentarily drowning out the sound of the dying football practice. Shouts emerge from the waning light in the direction of the basketball court, and the ball continues its beat.
18 feet long- Birds chirp in a shrill, frantic, pre-dusk orchestra. The football players march slowly toward the showers, moaning and shouting. Against the backdrop of the setting sun, the dark silhouettes of basketball players move back and forth, back and forth.
No shadow- All is quiet. Still, the basketball game persists.
the above was written from a backbone timeline for an english assignment in which i was supposed to use diction and details to set tone.
i can't write. god help me.
ADDENDUM
i am also in love with my calculator. if james doesn't want to go to prom with me, and i can't find another date, i am going to take it.
contact update: i successfully put in my contacts in only five minutes today! first try on both eyes! now let's see if i can get them out later. i think the right eye's prescription might be too weak, because i can see a lot more clearly with the other eye. i will ask the optometrist when i go back next week.
meanwhile, tomorrow they are havign a major anti-war demonstration at berkeley. i'd go if i were going to class there tomorrow, but i'm not. i remember when i got in, my mother told me about when she took classes there in the 60s...how she had to get through protests and rallies to get to class. i don't think she expected that to happen to me, but i'm not entirely sure. she's also more conservative, generally, than i am, in those particular aspects. i'm more likely to attend demonstrations. my dad told me he joined the aclu today; he's worried about john ashcroft and his war against terrorism.
the thing that bothers me about my physics class is that a) shapiro assumes that we're all really smart, and he says that a lot, which is an ego boost, but then i don't get a lot of what he's saying. he's a nice person, but his teaching techniques are bizarre. b) having taken physics last year, i know a lot of the demonstrations already. the same thing happened to me last year in friedman's class, because i was familiar with a lot of exhibits that were very similar or the same. so. meanwhile, i just got a call from teresa reminding me that i would be getting penalty mods for doing physics stuff tomorrow. bah, i already knew that.
listening: u2, "new york"
i am also in love with my calculator. if james doesn't want to go to prom with me, and i can't find another date, i am going to take it.
contact update: i successfully put in my contacts in only five minutes today! first try on both eyes! now let's see if i can get them out later. i think the right eye's prescription might be too weak, because i can see a lot more clearly with the other eye. i will ask the optometrist when i go back next week.
meanwhile, tomorrow they are havign a major anti-war demonstration at berkeley. i'd go if i were going to class there tomorrow, but i'm not. i remember when i got in, my mother told me about when she took classes there in the 60s...how she had to get through protests and rallies to get to class. i don't think she expected that to happen to me, but i'm not entirely sure. she's also more conservative, generally, than i am, in those particular aspects. i'm more likely to attend demonstrations. my dad told me he joined the aclu today; he's worried about john ashcroft and his war against terrorism.
the thing that bothers me about my physics class is that a) shapiro assumes that we're all really smart, and he says that a lot, which is an ego boost, but then i don't get a lot of what he's saying. he's a nice person, but his teaching techniques are bizarre. b) having taken physics last year, i know a lot of the demonstrations already. the same thing happened to me last year in friedman's class, because i was familiar with a lot of exhibits that were very similar or the same. so. meanwhile, i just got a call from teresa reminding me that i would be getting penalty mods for doing physics stuff tomorrow. bah, i already knew that.
listening: u2, "new york"
FIZZIX
i am in love with the "find tangent" function of loggerpro. for this, tony thinks i'm being a nerd.
i never denied it.
i am in love with the "find tangent" function of loggerpro. for this, tony thinks i'm being a nerd.
i never denied it.
tiistai, syyskuu 18
UPDATE
and i took them out again. it took me like ten minutes, but i finally did it.
i even learned to touch my eye without blinking majorly. isn't that a happy thought?
i also have money now. i face a moral dilemma: is it wrong to donate to one's favorite website to keep it from shutting down, even just five dollars, and not donate the same amount to a charity?
and i took them out again. it took me like ten minutes, but i finally did it.
i even learned to touch my eye without blinking majorly. isn't that a happy thought?
i also have money now. i face a moral dilemma: is it wrong to donate to one's favorite website to keep it from shutting down, even just five dollars, and not donate the same amount to a charity?
I CAN SEE CLEARLY NOW
i got contacts! woo! it took me forever and a day to learn to put them in and take them out, and i still have trouble with the latter, but at least they're there.
also i paid karin to go to the mall for me, so now i have some pants. w00t.
we gave the stuffsicle to mr. shimmon. he's a little nervous about eating it, but i don't blame him at all. i don't think i'd really eat something that looked like shit on a stick.
this is interesting.
i got contacts! woo! it took me forever and a day to learn to put them in and take them out, and i still have trouble with the latter, but at least they're there.
also i paid karin to go to the mall for me, so now i have some pants. w00t.
we gave the stuffsicle to mr. shimmon. he's a little nervous about eating it, but i don't blame him at all. i don't think i'd really eat something that looked like shit on a stick.
this is interesting.
maanantai, syyskuu 17
COINKIDINK
my dad: you know why they make safety pins the way they are?
me: why?
dad: so they can be closed.
me: oh, really. i suppose you're hinting that i tend to leave them open, right?
dad: eh.
me: so in case you pick them up, you don't jab your finger and die bleeding on the floor.
meanwhile in econ today we listened to a rather morbid song from shockheaded peter, the play, about a young boy who gets his thumbs cut off.
my dad: you know why they make safety pins the way they are?
me: why?
dad: so they can be closed.
me: oh, really. i suppose you're hinting that i tend to leave them open, right?
dad: eh.
me: so in case you pick them up, you don't jab your finger and die bleeding on the floor.
meanwhile in econ today we listened to a rather morbid song from shockheaded peter, the play, about a young boy who gets his thumbs cut off.
CURIOSITEE
there is this piece of fruit i have found that matches this weird pattern i have noticed among fruit these days. i don't know what causes it, be it genetic modification or hybridization or if it's natural. anyway, last year i found two oranges that displayed this phenomenon, having colors in sections separated by lines of longitude. mr. carmack didn't know what caused them today i found an apple that was the same.
hm.
there is this piece of fruit i have found that matches this weird pattern i have noticed among fruit these days. i don't know what causes it, be it genetic modification or hybridization or if it's natural. anyway, last year i found two oranges that displayed this phenomenon, having colors in sections separated by lines of longitude. mr. carmack didn't know what caused them today i found an apple that was the same.
hm.
ANYHEY
blogger is being extremely annoying right now. i posted twice and my messages got lost.
so as i was saying, this is a message to karin and andrea: i am not a liar. every word i said about j*mes is true. ha. and furthermore, today he told me, "we can be lab partners" in referring to thursday night, when we are both not going to do shield and scroll work. his reason is that he called sarah moore off a hint of mine, who gave him "no comment" on the fact that we won't have an advantage in scheduling next semester. anyway.
so i got my class t-shirt and it is hella kewliezzz. i want to scan it in because it rocks so hard. maybe i will do just that later. i also have to find the rest of my outfit for thursday. i really like spirit week for whatever reason. it's just fun. our hallway looks really good. it's not as good as last year's, but the biome theme allowed more creative freedom anyway.
the berkeley campus seemed somewhat deserted when i arrived, due to the large memorial service going on somewhere.
blogger is being extremely annoying right now. i posted twice and my messages got lost.
so as i was saying, this is a message to karin and andrea: i am not a liar. every word i said about j*mes is true. ha. and furthermore, today he told me, "we can be lab partners" in referring to thursday night, when we are both not going to do shield and scroll work. his reason is that he called sarah moore off a hint of mine, who gave him "no comment" on the fact that we won't have an advantage in scheduling next semester. anyway.
so i got my class t-shirt and it is hella kewliezzz. i want to scan it in because it rocks so hard. maybe i will do just that later. i also have to find the rest of my outfit for thursday. i really like spirit week for whatever reason. it's just fun. our hallway looks really good. it's not as good as last year's, but the biome theme allowed more creative freedom anyway.
the berkeley campus seemed somewhat deserted when i arrived, due to the large memorial service going on somewhere.
sunnuntai, syyskuu 16
...
i was for some reason inspired to check on other people's blogs. people i don't know.
i was almost in tears by the end of the page.
i was for some reason inspired to check on other people's blogs. people i don't know.
i was almost in tears by the end of the page.
DAMN THE MAN
speaking of being pissed, i forgot why i was extremely pissed yesterday. like, livid with rage. dancing around because i was so mad.
last night during dinner, i got a call from lucinda from shield and scroll, asking if i could help out with some activity today. i told her no, sorry, but i had work today. so then she told me to show up on thursday night for parents' night at school, and it was mandatory. i asked her if it was okay that i would be there, but i had to work in the physics lab instead of the cafeteria or whatever, because i had already told shapiro i'd do it for him. not for extra credit, but just because i enjoy physics. seriously. obviously i like doing this sort of stuff because i do it as a job, right?
anyway, lucinda said this was okay and hung up, but five minutes later she called back and told me that there would be a penalty for doing it, and that she and peter and lucinda and whoever the other secretary is all decided it wouldn't be fair if they did it, because they can't get penalties, but other people can. i told her i was sticking with my plan.
my issue is that xi is in my physics class and knew that i was signing up, and she knew there would be a penalty because she's the one who comes up with these stupid things, but she didn't utter a word. if i confronted her now, she'd tell me some sweet thing about how it really is important for us to be at school and such and blah blah blah fishcakes. well, i highly doubt that they need 50 people that night. i bet we'd be standing around in our beanies looking idle. but isn't the purpose of an honors society to service the school? and am i not doing service to the school? it's not like i need extra credit in physics, because, if i may say so myself, i'm kicking ass in that subject right now, and i'm happy about that. but i don't want to tell shapiro now that i can't make it. it's just important to me.
i know james is also signed up for it. maybe he'll go on strike with me.
my problem is that this will be the second mandatory event that i will have "skipped", both times for legitimate reasons. (last time i had to go to class.) i think this is the kind of "offense" that warrants dismissal. as much as i'd like to quit, i don't want to be kicked out. even if we don't get to pick first next semester for classes, i'd like to be recognized at graduation, because otherwise i'll be super-undecorated.
blah. i hate caring about these things.
speaking of being pissed, i forgot why i was extremely pissed yesterday. like, livid with rage. dancing around because i was so mad.
last night during dinner, i got a call from lucinda from shield and scroll, asking if i could help out with some activity today. i told her no, sorry, but i had work today. so then she told me to show up on thursday night for parents' night at school, and it was mandatory. i asked her if it was okay that i would be there, but i had to work in the physics lab instead of the cafeteria or whatever, because i had already told shapiro i'd do it for him. not for extra credit, but just because i enjoy physics. seriously. obviously i like doing this sort of stuff because i do it as a job, right?
anyway, lucinda said this was okay and hung up, but five minutes later she called back and told me that there would be a penalty for doing it, and that she and peter and lucinda and whoever the other secretary is all decided it wouldn't be fair if they did it, because they can't get penalties, but other people can. i told her i was sticking with my plan.
my issue is that xi is in my physics class and knew that i was signing up, and she knew there would be a penalty because she's the one who comes up with these stupid things, but she didn't utter a word. if i confronted her now, she'd tell me some sweet thing about how it really is important for us to be at school and such and blah blah blah fishcakes. well, i highly doubt that they need 50 people that night. i bet we'd be standing around in our beanies looking idle. but isn't the purpose of an honors society to service the school? and am i not doing service to the school? it's not like i need extra credit in physics, because, if i may say so myself, i'm kicking ass in that subject right now, and i'm happy about that. but i don't want to tell shapiro now that i can't make it. it's just important to me.
i know james is also signed up for it. maybe he'll go on strike with me.
my problem is that this will be the second mandatory event that i will have "skipped", both times for legitimate reasons. (last time i had to go to class.) i think this is the kind of "offense" that warrants dismissal. as much as i'd like to quit, i don't want to be kicked out. even if we don't get to pick first next semester for classes, i'd like to be recognized at graduation, because otherwise i'll be super-undecorated.
blah. i hate caring about these things.
NOTHING YOU CAN DO THAT CAN'T BE DONE
so last night was revenge, a year late, on the part of my best friends.
i went over to meredith's house and watched a rather excited meredith try and beat sarah at set. she didn't succeed. because sarah can't lose. after that, they showed me the jello no-bake chocolate silk pie filling they had made, which, in sarah's words "looked and tasted like crap." anyway, after sarah left, meredith and i had the bright idea to make stuff out of it. that is, we took every baking good in the kitchen and put it in the filling. meredith has the list of ingredients, not me, but i do remember putting in things like cinnamon, raisin bran, peach-coconut bars, granola, peanut butter, and more. it wasn't that bad, but we froze it onto a fork to give to mr. shimmon on monday.
finally andrea arrived. we sat around and looked at pictures for a bit, and then sat around and chewed the fat. later, of course, they got their revenge on me. while lying in bed, they tortured me until i admitted to liking james. it was their dream come true, literally, but for some reason they wouldn't accept that, and interrogated me some more until we finally dozed off.
today i went to work. they are rearranging all the exhibits and moving bio to the mezzanine and such, which means that they moved all the math and some other stuff downstairs into the skylight area. i was bored, so i tried my hand at lunar lander, a game at which i am so obviously incompetent, because i play about once a year. these two visitors walked up behind me and distracted me by saying, "well, you work here, so you must get a lot of practice and be really good." of course, i proceeded to crash a few seconds later. "ouch," said one moronic visitor to the other. "better not ever try to work for nasa, eh?" they walked off laughing.
if only they knew.
for some reason i felt really depressed about ten minutes later. i don't know why that happened, but i didn't feel like talking to anyone, so i went and took a nap in the first aid room. or at least i tried, because the noise of various things humming at 60 and 120 hZ was bothersome, so i just lay there and thought about whatever it was, and that didn't exactly help my depression. eventually i just went out and got a schedule, and sat around eating lunch by myself because no one else was in the lounge.
later that day, i had to go to drawing board, which they also moved to the other end of the mezz, where the sound and music stuff used to be. that was not a fun experience. in the space of two hours, i have thoroughly gotten on malakah's bad side. first, at the drawing board, i arrived to hear her tell some visitor she had to wait for ten minutes for the next person to arrive, even though no one had signed up for that time. i told her the visitor could go, but she told me it was some new rule. i said that since i had been there for two years longer, i was right, which was generally a stupid argument, but anyway. what i meant to say was that it was stupid to make someone wait around when obvious there was no one going at that time. it's not utilizing one's resources fully. anyway, eventually i took over, and i let the person go, and malakah went off in a snit.
at 3:00 i went to do my laser demo, only to find it closed, so i went back and asked if it was broken or something. fernando and reth didn't know anything about it, and looked on the schedule and saw that malakah had been there at 2:30, so he asked her what was up. she sort of glared at me, and said she hadn't locked it. well, when I returned, it turned out that it wasn't actually locked, just closed up and the door was stuck. i still don't know why she wasn't there, though. anyway, i don't think she's particularly fond of me, for good reason, because i was sort of a bitch to her today.
so last night was revenge, a year late, on the part of my best friends.
i went over to meredith's house and watched a rather excited meredith try and beat sarah at set. she didn't succeed. because sarah can't lose. after that, they showed me the jello no-bake chocolate silk pie filling they had made, which, in sarah's words "looked and tasted like crap." anyway, after sarah left, meredith and i had the bright idea to make stuff out of it. that is, we took every baking good in the kitchen and put it in the filling. meredith has the list of ingredients, not me, but i do remember putting in things like cinnamon, raisin bran, peach-coconut bars, granola, peanut butter, and more. it wasn't that bad, but we froze it onto a fork to give to mr. shimmon on monday.
finally andrea arrived. we sat around and looked at pictures for a bit, and then sat around and chewed the fat. later, of course, they got their revenge on me. while lying in bed, they tortured me until i admitted to liking james. it was their dream come true, literally, but for some reason they wouldn't accept that, and interrogated me some more until we finally dozed off.
today i went to work. they are rearranging all the exhibits and moving bio to the mezzanine and such, which means that they moved all the math and some other stuff downstairs into the skylight area. i was bored, so i tried my hand at lunar lander, a game at which i am so obviously incompetent, because i play about once a year. these two visitors walked up behind me and distracted me by saying, "well, you work here, so you must get a lot of practice and be really good." of course, i proceeded to crash a few seconds later. "ouch," said one moronic visitor to the other. "better not ever try to work for nasa, eh?" they walked off laughing.
if only they knew.
for some reason i felt really depressed about ten minutes later. i don't know why that happened, but i didn't feel like talking to anyone, so i went and took a nap in the first aid room. or at least i tried, because the noise of various things humming at 60 and 120 hZ was bothersome, so i just lay there and thought about whatever it was, and that didn't exactly help my depression. eventually i just went out and got a schedule, and sat around eating lunch by myself because no one else was in the lounge.
later that day, i had to go to drawing board, which they also moved to the other end of the mezz, where the sound and music stuff used to be. that was not a fun experience. in the space of two hours, i have thoroughly gotten on malakah's bad side. first, at the drawing board, i arrived to hear her tell some visitor she had to wait for ten minutes for the next person to arrive, even though no one had signed up for that time. i told her the visitor could go, but she told me it was some new rule. i said that since i had been there for two years longer, i was right, which was generally a stupid argument, but anyway. what i meant to say was that it was stupid to make someone wait around when obvious there was no one going at that time. it's not utilizing one's resources fully. anyway, eventually i took over, and i let the person go, and malakah went off in a snit.
at 3:00 i went to do my laser demo, only to find it closed, so i went back and asked if it was broken or something. fernando and reth didn't know anything about it, and looked on the schedule and saw that malakah had been there at 2:30, so he asked her what was up. she sort of glared at me, and said she hadn't locked it. well, when I returned, it turned out that it wasn't actually locked, just closed up and the door was stuck. i still don't know why she wasn't there, though. anyway, i don't think she's particularly fond of me, for good reason, because i was sort of a bitch to her today.
lauantai, syyskuu 15
BAH
working on my fact sheet right now. i am having enough trouble with my statistics, like gpa and test scores. never mind stuff like "personal qualities". i need to talk to my counselor about this, the problem being that i've never met her. yet. i'll make an appointment to talk on monday.
karin: i need the ace of...what are the clovers called?
me: clubs! clubs! dude.
i am fed up with all this right now. everything is getting on my nerves.
i also just realized another coincidence that i forgot to put on my list. on monday, i walked into physics a mod early, and usually shapiro is playing music around that time. it was the beatles' "a day in the life". you know, thhe one with lines like "i read the news today, oh boy. ten thousand holes in blackburn lancashire" and "ten thousand people stood and stared."
working on my fact sheet right now. i am having enough trouble with my statistics, like gpa and test scores. never mind stuff like "personal qualities". i need to talk to my counselor about this, the problem being that i've never met her. yet. i'll make an appointment to talk on monday.
karin: i need the ace of...what are the clovers called?
me: clubs! clubs! dude.
i am fed up with all this right now. everything is getting on my nerves.
i also just realized another coincidence that i forgot to put on my list. on monday, i walked into physics a mod early, and usually shapiro is playing music around that time. it was the beatles' "a day in the life". you know, thhe one with lines like "i read the news today, oh boy. ten thousand holes in blackburn lancashire" and "ten thousand people stood and stared."
ARGH
i hate talking about college applications. i was just on the phone with meredith and she was trying to guessher class ranking and asking me to help her. i have no idea, not even a close one, of what my own is, so why would i know hers? frustration. but still, i know i'm supposed to go ask my counselor, whom i've never even met, what my own class rank is. i hope i'm in the top 10%, but i won't count on it.
meanwhile, i have received three things in the last three days from the university of puget sound, and two from lake forest.
listening: radiohead, "life in a glass house"
i hate talking about college applications. i was just on the phone with meredith and she was trying to guessher class ranking and asking me to help her. i have no idea, not even a close one, of what my own is, so why would i know hers? frustration. but still, i know i'm supposed to go ask my counselor, whom i've never even met, what my own class rank is. i hope i'm in the top 10%, but i won't count on it.
meanwhile, i have received three things in the last three days from the university of puget sound, and two from lake forest.
listening: radiohead, "life in a glass house"
perjantai, syyskuu 14
NORMALCY
everything was sort of normal again today. i volunteered to help with physics demos next week at parents' night, just because i'm a suck-up and i like doing demos and stuff. it's just like being at work, except i get extra credit instead of very little money.
speaking of people coming back to school, sam was at lowell today. i asked him was he going to berkeley today? and he said he only had one class which he cut so he could come over. i occasionally see himaround leconte hall because of course he is going to be some sort of physics major and he probably hangs out there a lot.
everything was sort of normal again today. i volunteered to help with physics demos next week at parents' night, just because i'm a suck-up and i like doing demos and stuff. it's just like being at work, except i get extra credit instead of very little money.
speaking of people coming back to school, sam was at lowell today. i asked him was he going to berkeley today? and he said he only had one class which he cut so he could come over. i occasionally see himaround leconte hall because of course he is going to be some sort of physics major and he probably hangs out there a lot.
torstai, syyskuu 13
I WANT TO GIVE BLOOD
but i am afraid to. i faint whenever i go into a medical center, so who knows what would happen if i had to watch my blood be drawn. i'd prolly be out of it for a week.
...
i feel selfish now.
but i am afraid to. i faint whenever i go into a medical center, so who knows what would happen if i had to watch my blood be drawn. i'd prolly be out of it for a week.
...
i feel selfish now.
I LIKE PEOPLE
generally. i just like spending time with and hearing from people. it makes me happy and very comforted. just reading emails and hearing from people, especially people from camp makes me feel better.
so. today seemed normal, other than the fact that the rest of the world is still in relative chaos. the plans for spirit week are still happening, and i hope the rally isn't cancelled for some reason. i enjoy spirit week. the theme this year is "the elements" (i immediately thought of chemical elements. would we dress up as alkaline earth metals or noble gases something? wouldn't it be fun to be protactinium for a day?) and the senior class is fire. well, i can think of a great costume already. i look forward to next week. i looked at some of the posters being made for the other classes' hallways. the juniors have air, and their stuff is kind of lame, but they do have one poster with crashing airplanes and a prayer for the victims and their families.
classes were pretty much normal. not many discussions of the disasters, even in english. it was back to michael's earnest comments about such-and-such from a passage being a phallic symbol and stuff. and of course meredith and andrea and diane were back at making up a life for me, having to do with j*mes and pattt. using those words exactly.
after sorting papers and such during my t.a. mods, i had to wait around during 18-20. i did some homework in the library and trying to avoid the glare of evil library woman. after that i went to a science bowl meeting, which was basically the seniors talking about which juniors to recruit and me heavily hinting toward dr. hill that we should change our strategy this year. right now i'm the only person who had more than one round of play. stephanie was there and in a round she competed. tommy just knows stuff.
which of course reminds me, we had some visitors yesterday. dario came and visited. he's auditing a few classes at berkeley until caltech starts up in a week or whatever, which explains why i saw him there last friday. also i saw ms. swett. when i finally caught up to her, i said hi, and she recognized me but couldn't remember my name. i said, "yeah, i was in your biology class as a freshman three years ago." i told her how she inspired me to like science and stuff and it was probably the kind of touching story that teachers love. i wish she'd come back though.
listening: frank black, "pray for the girls"
generally. i just like spending time with and hearing from people. it makes me happy and very comforted. just reading emails and hearing from people, especially people from camp makes me feel better.
so. today seemed normal, other than the fact that the rest of the world is still in relative chaos. the plans for spirit week are still happening, and i hope the rally isn't cancelled for some reason. i enjoy spirit week. the theme this year is "the elements" (i immediately thought of chemical elements. would we dress up as alkaline earth metals or noble gases something? wouldn't it be fun to be protactinium for a day?) and the senior class is fire. well, i can think of a great costume already. i look forward to next week. i looked at some of the posters being made for the other classes' hallways. the juniors have air, and their stuff is kind of lame, but they do have one poster with crashing airplanes and a prayer for the victims and their families.
classes were pretty much normal. not many discussions of the disasters, even in english. it was back to michael's earnest comments about such-and-such from a passage being a phallic symbol and stuff. and of course meredith and andrea and diane were back at making up a life for me, having to do with j*mes and pattt. using those words exactly.
after sorting papers and such during my t.a. mods, i had to wait around during 18-20. i did some homework in the library and trying to avoid the glare of evil library woman. after that i went to a science bowl meeting, which was basically the seniors talking about which juniors to recruit and me heavily hinting toward dr. hill that we should change our strategy this year. right now i'm the only person who had more than one round of play. stephanie was there and in a round she competed. tommy just knows stuff.
which of course reminds me, we had some visitors yesterday. dario came and visited. he's auditing a few classes at berkeley until caltech starts up in a week or whatever, which explains why i saw him there last friday. also i saw ms. swett. when i finally caught up to her, i said hi, and she recognized me but couldn't remember my name. i said, "yeah, i was in your biology class as a freshman three years ago." i told her how she inspired me to like science and stuff and it was probably the kind of touching story that teachers love. i wish she'd come back though.
listening: frank black, "pray for the girls"
keskiviikko, syyskuu 12
SOMETHING TO MAKE MY DAY BETTER
this is the only thing.
all i could think about today was what was missing. thousands of people, some huge buildings, a piece of the pentagon. these thoughts just keep coming back. whenever my mind is idle, that's what pops into my brain. just as soon as i woke up, boom, it hit me, the words on the screen. america under attack.
normally the first thing i do when i wake up, if it hasn't already been done, is to get the paper. well, today i got up late, because of the special schedule at school, so that paper was there. a giant headline, not that anyone hadn't heard already. symbolic. NIGHTMARE. the whole page taken up by the image of the second plane colliding with the tower.
at school we discussed and tried to take our mind off of it. but things kept reminding me and of course everyone was talking. especially bothersome was toby's warhawk comments in econ. those were disturbing. also the five-minute impromptu speech by peter in physics. it was better than bush's.
i missed my lecture due to the special schedule and a delay on bart, so when i got to berkeley i read an article and wrote my response. it was the first cold day i've spent there this year. there were all these dogs for some reason. no one was sitting on the lawns because everyone was at sproul plaza writing on the memorials or doing other things. i went up to the free speech movement cafe, which seemed to be the place to be. there was a big screen with cnn live. all the seats were full and there were people standing all around, glued to the screen. i had to pry myself off to go to class.
we spent the first half hour talking about evolution and the second half talking about religion and terrorism. which someone had to do with evolution. social darwinism and morals or something.
this is the only thing.
all i could think about today was what was missing. thousands of people, some huge buildings, a piece of the pentagon. these thoughts just keep coming back. whenever my mind is idle, that's what pops into my brain. just as soon as i woke up, boom, it hit me, the words on the screen. america under attack.
normally the first thing i do when i wake up, if it hasn't already been done, is to get the paper. well, today i got up late, because of the special schedule at school, so that paper was there. a giant headline, not that anyone hadn't heard already. symbolic. NIGHTMARE. the whole page taken up by the image of the second plane colliding with the tower.
at school we discussed and tried to take our mind off of it. but things kept reminding me and of course everyone was talking. especially bothersome was toby's warhawk comments in econ. those were disturbing. also the five-minute impromptu speech by peter in physics. it was better than bush's.
i missed my lecture due to the special schedule and a delay on bart, so when i got to berkeley i read an article and wrote my response. it was the first cold day i've spent there this year. there were all these dogs for some reason. no one was sitting on the lawns because everyone was at sproul plaza writing on the memorials or doing other things. i went up to the free speech movement cafe, which seemed to be the place to be. there was a big screen with cnn live. all the seats were full and there were people standing all around, glued to the screen. i had to pry myself off to go to class.
we spent the first half hour talking about evolution and the second half talking about religion and terrorism. which someone had to do with evolution. social darwinism and morals or something.
tiistai, syyskuu 11
I AM CONCERNED
i have always been sort of jumpy when i hear sounds i'm not supposed to. whenever i try and sleep i immediately wake up at the slightest rumble of a streetcar. planes scare the hell out of me. anything that loudly goes "bang" practically makes me start crying.
and this is on a normal day.
i don't know how i'm even going to close my eyes now.
i have always been sort of jumpy when i hear sounds i'm not supposed to. whenever i try and sleep i immediately wake up at the slightest rumble of a streetcar. planes scare the hell out of me. anything that loudly goes "bang" practically makes me start crying.
and this is on a normal day.
i don't know how i'm even going to close my eyes now.
AT A TIME LIKE THIS THERE ARE COINCIDENCES
- yesterday i wandered the financial district of san francisco looking at how tall the skyscrapers were, but they are less than half the height of the fallen ones
- "president buck jones rallies and waves the flag"
- physics problem: a plane is flying at a height of 100m at a speed of 900 km/hr and the ground is sloping at 4.3 degrees. how long until it crashes?
i don't know!! you tell me! - songs that have second meanings. are they played on purpose? "i said oh my god, and i cried, 'what's going on?!'"
IN OTHER NEWS...
shit, not another one. for a second i thought there might not be anything new and now there's a report of a possible van filled with explosives on the george washington bridge.
!!
anyway. i should do stuff like fizzix homework.
shit, not another one. for a second i thought there might not be anything new and now there's a report of a possible van filled with explosives on the george washington bridge.
!!
anyway. i should do stuff like fizzix homework.
RXN
it reminds me of independence day. the movie. except that movie's message was that the whole world shold act as one and kick alien ass, not go to war with itself.
i'll go watch bush on tv now like the media whore that i am.
it reminds me of independence day. the movie. except that movie's message was that the whole world shold act as one and kick alien ass, not go to war with itself.
i'll go watch bush on tv now like the media whore that i am.
CONCERNED, BUT POWERLESS
i got up this morning at 6:10. i was awoken by my mom shuffling back and forth rather loudly in the hall and turning on an abnormal number of lights. all i could think about washow tomorrow i have a special schedule, so i'll get to sleep a little more. i went to the kitchen, as usual, still half-asleep. it was dark and the television was on. i saw towers on fire. my first thought was shit, the tosco refinery's on fire again because that's what it looked like. when i went in the kitchen, it was reporters talking about the plane crash into the world trade center. that took a while to sink in. plane crash, wtc.
i sat in shock and watched the coverage. i wasn't talking. i just kept watching as they repeated the footage of the second plane crashing into the tower and people giving the same reports of hijackings. then came the attack on the capital. everything was confused. i heard reports of the mall being on fire and a car bomb in the state department, and bush's press statement from florida. got dressed, and when i came back at 7 the south tower had collapsed, or at least there were rumors of such. meanwhile, i stood by as they showed people falling off the top of the one still intact. in the car i listened to eyewitness reports on the radio. by the time i got to school, there was no one outside. everyone i saw was talking about it. everyone was in classrooms looking at the tv. people running around, concerned and confused.
in english, the teacher didn't want to teach. she was still in shock, so we tried to turn on the tv to get some recent news. that wasn't working, so we used my portable radio to listen to the news. that was when we found out the second tower had collapsed. there was a suspiscious package found in the san francisco city hall. blah blah. it was starting to sound the same to me. i just didn't want to be there.
i briefly went to physics class, where i saw footage of the north tower collapsing. i was thinking of how the same thing could happen here and of all the precautions being taken. of how the golden gate bridge at rush hour is an easy target, and all the important facilities around here, like lawrence livermore labs or moffett field. for some reason, that just made me break down. i started crying right there in front of everyone. it was embarrassing. a few minutes later there was an announcement that the sfusd was closing, and we were to evacuate the building. mass chaos ensued. i went to find karin so we could go home, but no one was sure if the buses were working. i found my friends, with andrea frantically trying to find her own sister. a lot of people still hadn't heard about anything and were cheering. i told them to shut the hell up. i had to lend my phone to a lot of people, but all the lines were busy. my dad came to pick us up, because this announcement had been broadcast under the breaking news. i got my phone back and left, mostly because teachers were yelling for us to get out immediately, almost as if there had been a threat. at home, i watched tv for some hours, not that there was much new news. i watched the footage of the crash and the collapse over and over, and also this guy running and blowing his nose.
just yesterday i was walking from the transbay terminal to the embarcadero subway station and through the financial district. the skyscrapers were big, but not even close to the ones in new york.
http://www2.imood.com/imood.cgi
i got up this morning at 6:10. i was awoken by my mom shuffling back and forth rather loudly in the hall and turning on an abnormal number of lights. all i could think about washow tomorrow i have a special schedule, so i'll get to sleep a little more. i went to the kitchen, as usual, still half-asleep. it was dark and the television was on. i saw towers on fire. my first thought was shit, the tosco refinery's on fire again because that's what it looked like. when i went in the kitchen, it was reporters talking about the plane crash into the world trade center. that took a while to sink in. plane crash, wtc.
i sat in shock and watched the coverage. i wasn't talking. i just kept watching as they repeated the footage of the second plane crashing into the tower and people giving the same reports of hijackings. then came the attack on the capital. everything was confused. i heard reports of the mall being on fire and a car bomb in the state department, and bush's press statement from florida. got dressed, and when i came back at 7 the south tower had collapsed, or at least there were rumors of such. meanwhile, i stood by as they showed people falling off the top of the one still intact. in the car i listened to eyewitness reports on the radio. by the time i got to school, there was no one outside. everyone i saw was talking about it. everyone was in classrooms looking at the tv. people running around, concerned and confused.
in english, the teacher didn't want to teach. she was still in shock, so we tried to turn on the tv to get some recent news. that wasn't working, so we used my portable radio to listen to the news. that was when we found out the second tower had collapsed. there was a suspiscious package found in the san francisco city hall. blah blah. it was starting to sound the same to me. i just didn't want to be there.
i briefly went to physics class, where i saw footage of the north tower collapsing. i was thinking of how the same thing could happen here and of all the precautions being taken. of how the golden gate bridge at rush hour is an easy target, and all the important facilities around here, like lawrence livermore labs or moffett field. for some reason, that just made me break down. i started crying right there in front of everyone. it was embarrassing. a few minutes later there was an announcement that the sfusd was closing, and we were to evacuate the building. mass chaos ensued. i went to find karin so we could go home, but no one was sure if the buses were working. i found my friends, with andrea frantically trying to find her own sister. a lot of people still hadn't heard about anything and were cheering. i told them to shut the hell up. i had to lend my phone to a lot of people, but all the lines were busy. my dad came to pick us up, because this announcement had been broadcast under the breaking news. i got my phone back and left, mostly because teachers were yelling for us to get out immediately, almost as if there had been a threat. at home, i watched tv for some hours, not that there was much new news. i watched the footage of the crash and the collapse over and over, and also this guy running and blowing his nose.
just yesterday i was walking from the transbay terminal to the embarcadero subway station and through the financial district. the skyscrapers were big, but not even close to the ones in new york.
http://www2.imood.com/imood.cgi
maanantai, syyskuu 10
I AM GOING TO START NOW
today's mail:
university of puget sound
nyu
mit (thanks for part 1 of your application)
university of pittsburgh
carleton college
lake forest university
this is the second piece of mail in a week that i have gotten from all of them!
leave me alone!
ups in particular is stalking me.
today's mail:
university of puget sound
nyu
mit (thanks for part 1 of your application)
university of pittsburgh
carleton college
lake forest university
this is the second piece of mail in a week that i have gotten from all of them!
leave me alone!
ups in particular is stalking me.
FORD TAURUS
so now i've been roped into being the club rep of some club that i can't attend the meetings of. the british club. i wish i could go, but it's on mondays. but then again, i don't really want to see people like meredith allen, everyone's favorite clone of andie from dawson's creek.
speaking of which, the tv season is starting soon. let me describe my week:
sunday: x-files!!
monday: boston public
tuesday: roswell
wednesday: dawson's creek
thursday: survivor! csi!
friday: dark angel
this doesn't include any new tv shows i may watch.
listening: the auteurs, "breaking up"
so now i've been roped into being the club rep of some club that i can't attend the meetings of. the british club. i wish i could go, but it's on mondays. but then again, i don't really want to see people like meredith allen, everyone's favorite clone of andie from dawson's creek.
speaking of which, the tv season is starting soon. let me describe my week:
sunday: x-files!!
monday: boston public
tuesday: roswell
wednesday: dawson's creek
thursday: survivor! csi!
friday: dark angel
this doesn't include any new tv shows i may watch.
listening: the auteurs, "breaking up"
okay i think i may be over the whole clone thing.
perhaps.
no more thinking about it. no one cares but me anyway.
perhaps.
no more thinking about it. no one cares but me anyway.
sunnuntai, syyskuu 9
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST
i am not being honest with myself.
this whole clone thing is really bothering me.
i am not being honest with myself.
this whole clone thing is really bothering me.
WE ARE HOLDING OUR BREATH UNDERWATER
that is how i feel right now, okay?
the only highlight of my day being that they are renovating to make room for new biology exhibits.
shni.
that is how i feel right now, okay?
the only highlight of my day being that they are renovating to make room for new biology exhibits.
FIRST RULE OF HUMANS
never be mean. i feel so guilty for being evil to radiohead's aimbot. observe.
never be mean. i feel so guilty for being evil to radiohead's aimbot. observe.
pailblusea: hi
GooglyMinotaur: ! hello again, pailblusea
to see what i can do, type "home"
pailblusea: do you like potatoes?
GooglyMinotaur: Eh. I'm not sure.
pailblusea: What abotu George W. Bush?
GooglyMinotaur: ? what about it
pailblusea: He is a bastard.
GooglyMinotaur: . say you're sorry
pailblusea: I'm sorry.
GooglyMinotaur: ! now that's better
pailblusea: But he is a republican
GooglyMinotaur: [greenbrier, ar]
no dates available.
>> type "tour dates" to see a complete listing of shows
pailblusea: that is not what I am looking for
GooglyMinotaur: Oh yeah?
pailblusea: yeah
GooglyMinotaur: Uh huh, uh huh.
pailblusea: You suck.
GooglyMinotaur: . someone needs to teach you some manners . please apologize
pailblusea: No.
GooglyMinotaur: ! please apologize, k?
. i've got, like, lots of other things to do
pailblusea: do you now?
GooglyMinotaur: ... c'mon, you said the bad thing, now please say you're sorry
pailblusea: you're mean.
GooglyMinotaur: . this is getting annoying . just apologize and move on
pailblusea: fine. sorry.
GooglyMinotaur: ? perhaps you prefer the british spelling
! please apologise
pailblusea: sorry! I am down on my knees.
GooglyMinotaur: . alright, alright . i accept
pailblusea: you're stubborn.
GooglyMinotaur: Am I?
pailblusea: Yes. Obstinate.
GooglyMinotaur: Yeah, huh? Wow, you humans say the weirdest things sometimes.
pailblusea: So do you robots.
GooglyMinotaur: So do you robots?
pailblusea: I do robots.
GooglyMinotaur: ... interesting
pailblusea: I built a robot once.
GooglyMinotaur: ? really
pailblusea: For realz.
GooglyMinotaur: I'm sorry, I'm not sure what you mean by "for realz".
however, i can play a mean game of rh hangman.
1 to continue your game, type "continue hangman."
2 to start a new game, type "restart hangman."
>> type "hangman help" for help with rh hangman, or type "home" to see everything i can do
pailblusea: No!
GooglyMinotaur: ! ok . remember, type "home" to see what i can do
pailblusea: What do you think about the destruction of the rainforest?
GooglyMinotaur: . i'm somewhat indifferent to it
pailblusea: Why?
GooglyMinotaur: . cause i said so
pailblusea: What about vegetarianism?
GooglyMinotaur: ? what about it
pailblusea: Is it good or bad?
GooglyMinotaur: I believe it may in fact be good or bad!
pailblusea: Indecisive.
GooglyMinotaur: I'm sorry, I'm not sure what you mean by "indecisive".
however, i can play a mean game of rh hangman.
1 to continue your game, type "continue hangman."
2 to start a new game, type "restart hangman."
>> type "hangman help" for help with rh hangman, or type "home" to see everything i can do
pailblusea: You are ugly.
GooglyMinotaur: ? huh . you said before that you liked me
pailblusea: I never said that.
GooglyMinotaur: ! no problem . remember, type "home" to see what i can do for you
pailblusea: Okay, fine. I admit I'm being really mean to you.
GooglyMinotaur: How does it feel to be being really mean to me?
pailblusea: It feels bad.
GooglyMinotaur: Wow. How 'bout that.
pailblusea: You're the best robot ever.
GooglyMinotaur: ? why should i believe you . you already said you didn't like me
pailblusea: but you're cool.
GooglyMinotaur: ? why should i believe you . you already said you didn't like me
pailblusea: sorry.
GooglyMinotaur: . ok . i'll forgive you this time
pailblusea: (GoogyMinotaur is a liar.)
GooglyMinotaur: Is a liar? I'm not sure!
pailblusea: You are a liar.
GooglyMinotaur: I'm a liar? Really?
pailblusea: Yes.
GooglyMinotaur: OK... I'm not sure how I feel about that.
pailblusea: You're a ratfink, GooglyMinotaur.
GooglyMinotaur: I'm a ratfink googlyminotaur? Really?
pailblusea: You stink.
GooglyMinotaur: What do I smell like?
pailblusea: You smell like rancid cabbage
GooglyMinotaur: I smell like you smell like rancid cabbage? Hmm. I see.
pailblusea: You never give me your money
GooglyMinotaur: ... ok, but all i have is worthless russian rubles
pailblusea: rubles?
GooglyMinotaur: I'm sorry, I'm not sure what "rubles" means.
however, i can play a mean game of rh hangman.
1 to continue your game, type "continue hangman."
2 to start a new game, type "restart hangman."
>> type "hangman help" for help with rh hangman, or type "home" to see everything i can do
pailblusea: Your money is worthless. Damn inflation.
GooglyMinotaur: ? really ? my money is worthless damn inflation
pailblusea: Nice talking to you.
GooglyMinotaur: . nice talking to you too, pailblusea
pailblusea: I have to go
GooglyMinotaur: . bye, pailblusea
pailblusea: bye bye
GooglyMinotaur: ! s'later, pailblusea
MOON FULL OF STARS AND ASTRAL CARS
i have found my new pasttime.
it is squeezing the anti-stress toy that karin brought me from this muni safety fair she went to yesterday. not a stress ball, but something with a very strong spring in it, i figure if i use it often, soon i will have a grip of steel.
karin says i'm jealous. i'm not jealous. why should i be?
i have found my new pasttime.
it is squeezing the anti-stress toy that karin brought me from this muni safety fair she went to yesterday. not a stress ball, but something with a very strong spring in it, i figure if i use it often, soon i will have a grip of steel.
karin says i'm jealous. i'm not jealous. why should i be?
lauantai, syyskuu 8
TODAY'S SPECIAL
Empress of All Things Not Pertaining to That Taste In Your Mouth, Donna Katharine Laura Magary
Duchess of Small Furry Animals, Katharine Dawkins
Representative of Canned Air and The Sun, Katharine P. MacJoplin, Q.E.D.
Lieutenant of Knowing When To Hold Them and Knowing When To Fold Them, Katharine R. Gahli
Woman-at-arms of Amnesia, Katharine W. McJanssen
Wizer of Procrastination, Katharine Peepiceek Zimmerman
the title generator fucking rocks my world.
in other news: i have two clones. one is the person who signed some letter i got, from somewhere. katharine l. machery. is that not scary? it is.
second:
(Public) Jesus: New Chick!
(Public) Dan: Yay.
(Public) Alex: A good one?
(Public) Chris: Name?
(Public) Jesus: The Almost-Kat chick!
(Public) Dan: Yay. Send the pic. Yay.
(Public) Jesus: No pic yet.
(Public) Chris pulls out his list and writes down "The Almost-Kat chick"
(Public) Alex: Mmh... perfect.
(Public) Alex: Like Kat, but sexier.
(Public) Alex: I'm guessing.
(Public) Alex: Jeezy's in loooove.
(Public) Chris: lol
(Public) Dan: Damn, Alex.
(Public) Jesus pastes to this channel:
Cynic: What's right, and what's wrong?
Cynic: Good bad..
Indigo: It's a matter of opinion.
Cynic: It's all defined by society. And everything within society from your friends to your school to probably your job... just your environment.. this all shapes you : )
Cynic: But yeah.. I agree with your point. Highschool really just transforms you into the norm.
Indigo: Of course, we are products of cercumstance. The human brain has few natural boundries... all of our boundries are implemented by society. Language itself is a boundry.
Cynic: (circumstance) : )
Yep.. have you read 1984? The brain has many boundries.. even imagination has boundries.
Cynic: I used to get really depressed over the highschool thing..
Indigo: I told you that MS word is down. ;)
Indigo: Yes, I disagree with aspects of 1984.
Cynic: Hehe. You should use dictionary.com you can look up a lot of words there : )
Cynic: Do you?
Cynic: How so?
Indigo: Uh, I have an essay I wrote on it.
Indigo: I can get it if you like.
Cynic: Yeah.. sure.
Cynic: Or you could just tell me..
Cynic: : )
Indigo: Well, I don't exactly disagree with 1984 itself. But I really don't want to get into a 1984 debate right now. ;)
I do believe that the human brain, if dropped in a completely different reality, would learn to accept that reality if it was all if it ever knew.
Cynic: Of course.. yes. I completely agree.
Cynic: I find that we adapt into any environment..
Indigo: Therefore there are no natural barriers to the human brain.
Indigo: I definately believe in nuture over nature. The human brain, as a blank slate, can do anything.
Cynic: But there are! The boundries that are put into place once the brain settles in a place..
Cynic: Here.. can this example:
Indigo: I do not disagree with you!
Cynic: Imagination is a wonderful thing. To think beyond the box. However you cannot imagine simply everything.. you can't imagine things you don't understand, or that you've never seen anything like..
Cynic: Oh.. wow..
I'm finding you very interesting.
Cynic: You seem far too much like me..
Indigo: Yeah, it is a little frieghtening, isn't it..
Cynic: Quite.. I was actually really amused by your messages : )
Cynic: I don't think anyone like you has ever bothered to message me before. : )
You mind if I ask bit about you? Be aware, I'll answer any questions you have about me too : )
Indigo: As as I. Most of those messages that I went are replied with "oh, cool. a/s/l?"
Cynic: *laughs* yeah..
Indigo: As was I, rather.
Cynic: You seem really interesting though.. and you seem to live nearby : )
Cynic: Just curious if I happen to know you already..
Indigo: I seriously doubt it.
Indigo: But you may ask whatever you wish.
Cynic: Hmm.. have you been to any other schools?
Indigo: None. I've only lived in this city.. oh, 8 months or so.
Cynic: Oh really? Where did you come from?
Indigo: Toronto.
Cynic: Ahh : )..
Big city. hehe. You into computer stuff at all?
Indigo: I program C++ in a multi user object-oriented environment, and I create 3D CGI landscapes.. but other than that, not really.
Indigo: You?
Cynic: *nods* I program too.. not many languages though. I taught this summer at a computer camp.. grades 5 and 6 how to make games in Visual Basic..
I'm interested in Web stuff a bit.. HTML... Java Script.. *coughs* I like games. They are good. (I'm not blunt.. not at all...)
Indigo: Blunt? I'd never accuse you of being so.
You are female, right?
Cynic: *laughs* Why does everyone ask me that? : )
Yes ; ) I'm female.
Indigo: Wow. Will you marry me?
Cynic: ha. I'm thinking yes.. : )
(Public) Done.
(Public) Dan: Wow
(Public) Dan: She sounds perfect for you.
(Public) Dan: Or at least as close to perfect as one can get.
(Public) Jesus: She's too perfect. She's gotta be 300 pounds with a nose from here to buffalo.
(Public) Dan grins.
(Public) Chris chortles.
(Public) Jesus: Although, at the very least, I've found a new friend for Kat.
i can't wait.
Empress of All Things Not Pertaining to That Taste In Your Mouth, Donna Katharine Laura Magary
Duchess of Small Furry Animals, Katharine Dawkins
Representative of Canned Air and The Sun, Katharine P. MacJoplin, Q.E.D.
Lieutenant of Knowing When To Hold Them and Knowing When To Fold Them, Katharine R. Gahli
Woman-at-arms of Amnesia, Katharine W. McJanssen
Wizer of Procrastination, Katharine Peepiceek Zimmerman
the title generator fucking rocks my world.
in other news: i have two clones. one is the person who signed some letter i got, from somewhere. katharine l. machery. is that not scary? it is.
second:
(Public) Jesus: New Chick!
(Public) Dan: Yay.
(Public) Alex: A good one?
(Public) Chris: Name?
(Public) Jesus: The Almost-Kat chick!
(Public) Dan: Yay. Send the pic. Yay.
(Public) Jesus: No pic yet.
(Public) Chris pulls out his list and writes down "The Almost-Kat chick"
(Public) Alex: Mmh... perfect.
(Public) Alex: Like Kat, but sexier.
(Public) Alex: I'm guessing.
(Public) Alex: Jeezy's in loooove.
(Public) Chris: lol
(Public) Dan: Damn, Alex.
(Public) Jesus pastes to this channel:
Cynic: What's right, and what's wrong?
Cynic: Good bad..
Indigo: It's a matter of opinion.
Cynic: It's all defined by society. And everything within society from your friends to your school to probably your job... just your environment.. this all shapes you : )
Cynic: But yeah.. I agree with your point. Highschool really just transforms you into the norm.
Indigo: Of course, we are products of cercumstance. The human brain has few natural boundries... all of our boundries are implemented by society. Language itself is a boundry.
Cynic: (circumstance) : )
Yep.. have you read 1984? The brain has many boundries.. even imagination has boundries.
Cynic: I used to get really depressed over the highschool thing..
Indigo: I told you that MS word is down. ;)
Indigo: Yes, I disagree with aspects of 1984.
Cynic: Hehe. You should use dictionary.com you can look up a lot of words there : )
Cynic: Do you?
Cynic: How so?
Indigo: Uh, I have an essay I wrote on it.
Indigo: I can get it if you like.
Cynic: Yeah.. sure.
Cynic: Or you could just tell me..
Cynic: : )
Indigo: Well, I don't exactly disagree with 1984 itself. But I really don't want to get into a 1984 debate right now. ;)
I do believe that the human brain, if dropped in a completely different reality, would learn to accept that reality if it was all if it ever knew.
Cynic: Of course.. yes. I completely agree.
Cynic: I find that we adapt into any environment..
Indigo: Therefore there are no natural barriers to the human brain.
Indigo: I definately believe in nuture over nature. The human brain, as a blank slate, can do anything.
Cynic: But there are! The boundries that are put into place once the brain settles in a place..
Cynic: Here.. can this example:
Indigo: I do not disagree with you!
Cynic: Imagination is a wonderful thing. To think beyond the box. However you cannot imagine simply everything.. you can't imagine things you don't understand, or that you've never seen anything like..
Cynic: Oh.. wow..
I'm finding you very interesting.
Cynic: You seem far too much like me..
Indigo: Yeah, it is a little frieghtening, isn't it..
Cynic: Quite.. I was actually really amused by your messages : )
Cynic: I don't think anyone like you has ever bothered to message me before. : )
You mind if I ask bit about you? Be aware, I'll answer any questions you have about me too : )
Indigo: As as I. Most of those messages that I went are replied with "oh, cool. a/s/l?"
Cynic: *laughs* yeah..
Indigo: As was I, rather.
Cynic: You seem really interesting though.. and you seem to live nearby : )
Cynic: Just curious if I happen to know you already..
Indigo: I seriously doubt it.
Indigo: But you may ask whatever you wish.
Cynic: Hmm.. have you been to any other schools?
Indigo: None. I've only lived in this city.. oh, 8 months or so.
Cynic: Oh really? Where did you come from?
Indigo: Toronto.
Cynic: Ahh : )..
Big city. hehe. You into computer stuff at all?
Indigo: I program C++ in a multi user object-oriented environment, and I create 3D CGI landscapes.. but other than that, not really.
Indigo: You?
Cynic: *nods* I program too.. not many languages though. I taught this summer at a computer camp.. grades 5 and 6 how to make games in Visual Basic..
I'm interested in Web stuff a bit.. HTML... Java Script.. *coughs* I like games. They are good. (I'm not blunt.. not at all...)
Indigo: Blunt? I'd never accuse you of being so.
You are female, right?
Cynic: *laughs* Why does everyone ask me that? : )
Yes ; ) I'm female.
Indigo: Wow. Will you marry me?
Cynic: ha. I'm thinking yes.. : )
(Public) Done.
(Public) Dan: Wow
(Public) Dan: She sounds perfect for you.
(Public) Dan: Or at least as close to perfect as one can get.
(Public) Jesus: She's too perfect. She's gotta be 300 pounds with a nose from here to buffalo.
(Public) Dan grins.
(Public) Chris chortles.
(Public) Jesus: Although, at the very least, I've found a new friend for Kat.
i can't wait.
I'M SO SICK OF GOODBYES
and college applications/other forms to fill out.
and i have joined the brotherhood of geeks.
and college applications/other forms to fill out.
and i have joined the brotherhood of geeks.
THIS IS THE COMING OF THE TIMES
- radio has gotten consistently worse by the day
- i have no time for a life
- knock knock. the pipe downstairs has burst.
- how can one apply online if the application uses up all the system resources?
- everyone is at costco.
perjantai, syyskuu 7
THE DARK SIDE IS BAD, RIGHT?
thank you for the quote, sarah.
today i became a republican.
[shock shock horror horror as the world crashes to a halt]
and quit about three minutes later. that's right, i temporarily sold my soul to satan, or george w. bush himself. it wasn't my fault, but something whispered in my ear that now was the appropriate time to be evil. evil. just a few days after my pledge not to be evil. but let me explain the circumstances.
it was econ class. yes, tommy was right, it does have the potential to turn people into republicans. (actually, he said that about political science, but it's all the same to me). anyway, we were doing a free market simulation. i represented an entrepreneur. i was stupid in the first round, but i merged with the meredith corporation. synergy. i had a surplus of human resources, and she had too many materials. together we made a bunch of products, but in the next round i opened my big mouth and sold some stuff at the wrong price. fortunately, we did evil stuff like buy stuff back and sell it at a higher price. in the end, we were under the amount of money we had started with, but then i split off, and we fired most of the workers. (extra human resource credits.) in the end, we had a 100% profit. or rather, the meredith corporation did. she gave me half, though. it was great. we made more money than everyone else. and when it came time to tax the moneymakers, i voted against it. i wanted to keep my hard-earned hershey kisses. i left with my profit and ran off to become a left-wing berkelian again.
i still feel guilty. bah.
in other news: i had this math test, which unfortunately i thought was easy. unfortunately because usually when i think something is easy, i get a c, and that isn't fun.
thank you for the quote, sarah.
today i became a republican.
[shock shock horror horror as the world crashes to a halt]
and quit about three minutes later. that's right, i temporarily sold my soul to satan, or george w. bush himself. it wasn't my fault, but something whispered in my ear that now was the appropriate time to be evil. evil. just a few days after my pledge not to be evil. but let me explain the circumstances.
it was econ class. yes, tommy was right, it does have the potential to turn people into republicans. (actually, he said that about political science, but it's all the same to me). anyway, we were doing a free market simulation. i represented an entrepreneur. i was stupid in the first round, but i merged with the meredith corporation. synergy. i had a surplus of human resources, and she had too many materials. together we made a bunch of products, but in the next round i opened my big mouth and sold some stuff at the wrong price. fortunately, we did evil stuff like buy stuff back and sell it at a higher price. in the end, we were under the amount of money we had started with, but then i split off, and we fired most of the workers. (extra human resource credits.) in the end, we had a 100% profit. or rather, the meredith corporation did. she gave me half, though. it was great. we made more money than everyone else. and when it came time to tax the moneymakers, i voted against it. i wanted to keep my hard-earned hershey kisses. i left with my profit and ran off to become a left-wing berkelian again.
i still feel guilty. bah.
in other news: i had this math test, which unfortunately i thought was easy. unfortunately because usually when i think something is easy, i get a c, and that isn't fun.
torstai, syyskuu 6
CURRENTNESS
listening: radiohead, airbag/how am i driving?
reading: patricia highsmith, tales of natural and unnatural catastrophes
listening: radiohead, airbag/how am i driving?
reading: patricia highsmith, tales of natural and unnatural catastrophes
I LIKE THURSDAY
sort of. i think it's my favorite day of the week again, because it's almost friday, but i don't have to commute at all.
so i got called into the office of yet another counselor, ms. glashagel. i wondered what was up, because i was sure it was something my substitute counselor or catelli could have taken care of. well, i still don't know why they didn't, but i learned that
so i learned calculus today. not in my math class, because we're reviewing precalc, but in physics. shapiro is into teaching math his own way, so he decided he had had enough with the math department and taught us derivatives. as usual, james turned to me and whined. i comforted him. the genius dude next to me sort of gave me a withering glance. oh well. i understand the stuff now. at least i know what calculus is.
karin and leci have removed their belongings from my locker and moved to a different one. joy. now i don't have to worry about mysterious socks and other such items.
republicans. piss. {diane, toby, dmitri} have all bothered me in some fashion today and by coincidence, they are all republicans. and have made it very clear.
sort of. i think it's my favorite day of the week again, because it's almost friday, but i don't have to commute at all.
so i got called into the office of yet another counselor, ms. glashagel. i wondered what was up, because i was sure it was something my substitute counselor or catelli could have taken care of. well, i still don't know why they didn't, but i learned that
so i learned calculus today. not in my math class, because we're reviewing precalc, but in physics. shapiro is into teaching math his own way, so he decided he had had enough with the math department and taught us derivatives. as usual, james turned to me and whined. i comforted him. the genius dude next to me sort of gave me a withering glance. oh well. i understand the stuff now. at least i know what calculus is.
karin and leci have removed their belongings from my locker and moved to a different one. joy. now i don't have to worry about mysterious socks and other such items.
republicans. piss. {diane, toby, dmitri} have all bothered me in some fashion today and by coincidence, they are all republicans. and have made it very clear.
keskiviikko, syyskuu 5
I SURVIVED
today was my day of 13 hours of school. it actually wasn't that bad, because my classes are interesting. plus i have some breaks in there, like mods 9/10, my commute break from 12:50 to 2:00, and another break between 3 and 4.
after climate change i needed to eat "dinner" even though it was only 3pm, so i decided to go scrounge up some grub on telegraph. of course, that was an unwise decision, because my socks don't fit right and my next class is a lot closer to the north side, so i could have eaten there, even though it has a smaller selection of food places. walking all the way across campus wasn't fun though. but my shish-kabob sandwich was good. mmm.
anyway. we talked about evolution vs. creationism, after we finally got let into the room (some other group had usurped it). that was okay, but for some reason all my verbal communication skills suddenly disappeared at one point, so i tried to say something and it came out completely different and it made no sense. well. story of my life.
it was the first of five meetings of my journ seminar with timothy ferris. it's so exciting to be in such a small class with someone who's semi-famous. i was prolly the most well-read person in the seminar, in books relating to the subject matter (popular science writing). so i felt special. also, there was a guy from lowell in that class, so i wasn't alone. except he's actually graduated, unlike me. shni.
tigger dragged in this dead mouse. i just chased him around the house and trapped him in my dad's office. i kept him away from the carcass and when my mom came in, she looked at the mouse and screamed, "OH MY GOD ITS EYES ARE OPEN!" no kidding. it was quite dead though, but she left it outside just in case it came back to life and wanted to walk away. never mind that it had a broken neck and skull.
today was my day of 13 hours of school. it actually wasn't that bad, because my classes are interesting. plus i have some breaks in there, like mods 9/10, my commute break from 12:50 to 2:00, and another break between 3 and 4.
after climate change i needed to eat "dinner" even though it was only 3pm, so i decided to go scrounge up some grub on telegraph. of course, that was an unwise decision, because my socks don't fit right and my next class is a lot closer to the north side, so i could have eaten there, even though it has a smaller selection of food places. walking all the way across campus wasn't fun though. but my shish-kabob sandwich was good. mmm.
anyway. we talked about evolution vs. creationism, after we finally got let into the room (some other group had usurped it). that was okay, but for some reason all my verbal communication skills suddenly disappeared at one point, so i tried to say something and it came out completely different and it made no sense. well. story of my life.
it was the first of five meetings of my journ seminar with timothy ferris. it's so exciting to be in such a small class with someone who's semi-famous. i was prolly the most well-read person in the seminar, in books relating to the subject matter (popular science writing). so i felt special. also, there was a guy from lowell in that class, so i wasn't alone. except he's actually graduated, unlike me. shni.
tigger dragged in this dead mouse. i just chased him around the house and trapped him in my dad's office. i kept him away from the carcass and when my mom came in, she looked at the mouse and screamed, "OH MY GOD ITS EYES ARE OPEN!" no kidding. it was quite dead though, but she left it outside just in case it came back to life and wanted to walk away. never mind that it had a broken neck and skull.
tiistai, syyskuu 4
MADONNA IS STALKING ME
she is coming to town tomorrow and the next day for a concert. but i keep seeing references to her. why. i don't know. i would think this very entertaining if it weren't so disturbing that everyone wants to go so very badly and will do anything to get a ticket.
speaking of which, i would do anything to go to alice's now and zen fest. but i need someone with whom to go. the problem is that it is large with no seating and too crowded, but i want to see stereophonics! they cancelled their show that would be in a few days. this makes me sad.
right now i am writing an absolutely shitty abstract of an article on evolutionary biology, written by my professor, which i would tend to find rather bland. but i won't say that for obvious reasons.
i am just having one of those issue-less days. everyone around is stressed and has general problems, but it's not affecting me, which means i'm unsympathetic and bitchy.
i accidentally said something mean to james today when he asked me about what was going on (after he showed up for physics 20 minutes late.) so later he asked me if he had done something that made me be mean to him all the time and i sincerely said i would try not to be mean to him any more at all. and i mean it.
i am getting contacts! in two weeks! i had an appointment today at the optometrist and i got them fitted, so soon i will be free of the glasses! except i'll prolly get some non-prescription ones just so i can figure out what to do with myself appearance-wise when i don't have them to hide my ugly mug.
she is coming to town tomorrow and the next day for a concert. but i keep seeing references to her. why. i don't know. i would think this very entertaining if it weren't so disturbing that everyone wants to go so very badly and will do anything to get a ticket.
speaking of which, i would do anything to go to alice's now and zen fest. but i need someone with whom to go. the problem is that it is large with no seating and too crowded, but i want to see stereophonics! they cancelled their show that would be in a few days. this makes me sad.
right now i am writing an absolutely shitty abstract of an article on evolutionary biology, written by my professor, which i would tend to find rather bland. but i won't say that for obvious reasons.
i am just having one of those issue-less days. everyone around is stressed and has general problems, but it's not affecting me, which means i'm unsympathetic and bitchy.
i accidentally said something mean to james today when he asked me about what was going on (after he showed up for physics 20 minutes late.) so later he asked me if he had done something that made me be mean to him all the time and i sincerely said i would try not to be mean to him any more at all. and i mean it.
i am getting contacts! in two weeks! i had an appointment today at the optometrist and i got them fitted, so soon i will be free of the glasses! except i'll prolly get some non-prescription ones just so i can figure out what to do with myself appearance-wise when i don't have them to hide my ugly mug.
maanantai, syyskuu 3
LIVING VICARIOUSLY THROUGH THE INTERNET
a moment of truth.
i find webcams exciting. i love reading about other people's lives. and my own life is inversely proportional to the amount of time i spend looking at journals online.
reading: kafka, "metamorphosis"
a moment of truth.
i find webcams exciting. i love reading about other people's lives. and my own life is inversely proportional to the amount of time i spend looking at journals online.
reading: kafka, "metamorphosis"
I AM LUCKY
that i don't use livejournal. they are slowly cutting back on their free services.
karin wanted to get one and i had to invite her. not that i use my journal, but at least i've had my account for more than a week.
that i don't use livejournal. they are slowly cutting back on their free services.
karin wanted to get one and i had to invite her. not that i use my journal, but at least i've had my account for more than a week.
STUPID @#$%
everyone says my blog is ugly.
it is. i've been trying to figure out what to do all day. what should i do? woe is me. i have literally no idea. i have designer's block.
everyone says my blog is ugly.
it is. i've been trying to figure out what to do all day. what should i do? woe is me. i have literally no idea. i have designer's block.
OOPS, I DID IT AGAIN
i had this post all ready for yesterday and somehow it got lost in cyberspace.
went to work (yesterday), had some fun. people are starting to leave and they won't be back for a semester or until next summer. it makes me rather sad. and some old people are leaving too(!) like johann. i never thought i'd see the day. i wonder who will work on wednesday now?
i can't believe it's september already. that means it's almost october and that is bad. i have to finish this application. soon.
i had this post all ready for yesterday and somehow it got lost in cyberspace.
went to work (yesterday), had some fun. people are starting to leave and they won't be back for a semester or until next summer. it makes me rather sad. and some old people are leaving too(!) like johann. i never thought i'd see the day. i wonder who will work on wednesday now?
i can't believe it's september already. that means it's almost october and that is bad. i have to finish this application. soon.
lauantai, syyskuu 1
DAMN UTERUS
i went to go see rat race about half an hour ago. it was really funny. i was laughing the whole time. it was exactly what i needed. then i came home and read something sad, and now i'm depressed. it isn't funny. i'm supposed to be slightly more stable than this. i'm not supposed to pms, but i am this month.
i should go read and not wallow in the fact that i feel guilty.
i went to go see rat race about half an hour ago. it was really funny. i was laughing the whole time. it was exactly what i needed. then i came home and read something sad, and now i'm depressed. it isn't funny. i'm supposed to be slightly more stable than this. i'm not supposed to pms, but i am this month.
i should go read and not wallow in the fact that i feel guilty.
DREEM
i had this bizarre dream last night that i was on the top of this abandoned shopping center type thing. i was with some other family, and there was a girl who was baout my age, maybe a little older. i was on the very top floor, with was a large open room with a carpet. the walls were glass. it was about sundown. well, that's hwo it seemed, because what we were doing in the room was taking the core of the sun, reduced in size to about 8 feet in diameter, and peeling off the cardboard wrappings. it wasn't very hot, even though i knew it had to be millions of degrees. also, it wasn't burning the cardboard. anyway, we kept peeling layers of the paper off the the pile of stuff to recycle grew even larger.
as we came to the last layers, i saw some glowing material between the cracks. suddently i realized the there must be a lot of invisible radiation that was coming through the wrapping, and i though of radiation burns and how disgusting they looked on that episode of x-files. i forget which one, but it had the guys from the submarine in the hospital. or maybe it was something else. end game? sarah, help me.
anyway, i ran downstairs to alert the others of the radiation hazard. evidently the other people from upstairs had followed me. the guy in charge, wearing a weird bodysuit (like someone on star trek). he went to this podium that had appeared and pressed some buttons. i saw a display telling me that the temperature in the upper floor was rising steadily, to about 21,000 degrees. i don't know what they were trying. that's about when i woke up.
i had this bizarre dream last night that i was on the top of this abandoned shopping center type thing. i was with some other family, and there was a girl who was baout my age, maybe a little older. i was on the very top floor, with was a large open room with a carpet. the walls were glass. it was about sundown. well, that's hwo it seemed, because what we were doing in the room was taking the core of the sun, reduced in size to about 8 feet in diameter, and peeling off the cardboard wrappings. it wasn't very hot, even though i knew it had to be millions of degrees. also, it wasn't burning the cardboard. anyway, we kept peeling layers of the paper off the the pile of stuff to recycle grew even larger.
as we came to the last layers, i saw some glowing material between the cracks. suddently i realized the there must be a lot of invisible radiation that was coming through the wrapping, and i though of radiation burns and how disgusting they looked on that episode of x-files. i forget which one, but it had the guys from the submarine in the hospital. or maybe it was something else. end game? sarah, help me.
anyway, i ran downstairs to alert the others of the radiation hazard. evidently the other people from upstairs had followed me. the guy in charge, wearing a weird bodysuit (like someone on star trek). he went to this podium that had appeared and pressed some buttons. i saw a display telling me that the temperature in the upper floor was rising steadily, to about 21,000 degrees. i don't know what they were trying. that's about when i woke up.
THE MAGIC BUS
i slept for a really long time. after i woke up, i made some pancakes and sat around for a while. karin went out, i went online and started my applications. made some plans with andrea to go out to a movie at 4:10 downtown. of course, when i left the house at 2:40 or so, the train didn't come until 3:10, and i was planning to go to the library first. on my ride down, the bus driver and this lady with a baby got in a fight, because he told her to fold up the stroller, but that involved waking the kid up and finding a seat, the latter of which was not possible. eventually it was resolved, but not after some words were exchanged.
at the library, i found the books i was looking for. i realized that the main library has a really crappy selection of fiction. they need to improve it. this guy ran into me and swore he knew me, but i had never seen him before in my life. and as luck would have it, i saw xi in the same section. after a brief conversatioin, i escaped to the fourth floor and the science section. ah, my little sanctuary.
of course, the electricity in the tunnel had to go out, so we never ended up going to the movie. also, we couldn't get in contact with meredith. so we decided to go at 7:45 instead. i took the 6 parnassus home. it was really crowded and hot. so when this guy got on wearing an okc-era radiohead shirt with "we hope that you choke" on the front, i thought to myself, well, i already am. anyway, i got home and watched the products of karin's video class. they were pretty funny. karin acted in one called "little blue sweatshirt hood", but my favorite was this really random one with some people doing some sort of duel in mexican clothes, with rubber balls rolling across the courtyard to represent tumbleweeds. and the guns were bananas.
then meredith called me. i had been trying to call her all day. after telling us yesterday that we weren't going to the movie, now she said we couldn't go today either. so andrea and i just decided to go without her. the end.
i slept for a really long time. after i woke up, i made some pancakes and sat around for a while. karin went out, i went online and started my applications. made some plans with andrea to go out to a movie at 4:10 downtown. of course, when i left the house at 2:40 or so, the train didn't come until 3:10, and i was planning to go to the library first. on my ride down, the bus driver and this lady with a baby got in a fight, because he told her to fold up the stroller, but that involved waking the kid up and finding a seat, the latter of which was not possible. eventually it was resolved, but not after some words were exchanged.
at the library, i found the books i was looking for. i realized that the main library has a really crappy selection of fiction. they need to improve it. this guy ran into me and swore he knew me, but i had never seen him before in my life. and as luck would have it, i saw xi in the same section. after a brief conversatioin, i escaped to the fourth floor and the science section. ah, my little sanctuary.
of course, the electricity in the tunnel had to go out, so we never ended up going to the movie. also, we couldn't get in contact with meredith. so we decided to go at 7:45 instead. i took the 6 parnassus home. it was really crowded and hot. so when this guy got on wearing an okc-era radiohead shirt with "we hope that you choke" on the front, i thought to myself, well, i already am. anyway, i got home and watched the products of karin's video class. they were pretty funny. karin acted in one called "little blue sweatshirt hood", but my favorite was this really random one with some people doing some sort of duel in mexican clothes, with rubber balls rolling across the courtyard to represent tumbleweeds. and the guns were bananas.
then meredith called me. i had been trying to call her all day. after telling us yesterday that we weren't going to the movie, now she said we couldn't go today either. so andrea and i just decided to go without her. the end.