brainwax is on break today. too much tv and not enough time. must go pack stuff for event tomorrow.

for penance i will write a full concert review in addition to whatever i miss tomorrow. see ya on thursday.
22:09

shni

it rained today again. i still hope it doesn't do that tomorrow. EEE. happiness. excitement. anticipation.

measured more cubes today. post-test. oh boy was that ever exciting. but i really am getting a chance to bone up on my lackluster spreadsheet skillz. now i need to tackle another program. or actually learn some programming. or something. god, i hope i never have to work for a tech company or be a programmer. i understand the fundamental idea behind it, but i lack memorization skills needed to learn any language very well, spoken or written.
22:06

STUPID PEOPLE SAY STUPID THINGS
harry makes a phone call to the lounge in the middle of a meeting just to say that there are gay people in the museum. no kidding. that's some observation you got there, dude. you've been living on this planet, let alone in san francisco, for like 15 years and that's the first time you noticed? and on the day of the gay pride parade. who woulda thought? why this is worth noting, of course, is an entirely different matter.

david o.: i know everything. go ahead! ask me any question!
me: what did i have for breakfast this morning?
doh: toast and...uh...eggs.
me: and that's where you're wrong.
doh: oh right, you're one of those vegetarians. okay. soy flakes and non-dairy creamer.
me: i'm not a vegetarian. and normal cereal doesn't have meat anyway. dork.
21:54

BRAINWAX: WHY I'M NOT A HARDCORE GAMER

it seems like every type of computer game has some fundamental flaw in it. i'll start with the basics:

• computer arcade games: like snake, tetris, and of course, the recently addictive snood. don't get me wrong, one can never truly hate these old-school games, but they have a problem: repetition. therefore, for someone prone to repetitive thoughts, games of this type are time-consuming. i don't just have dreams about being a little snake out to eat apples in a maze, but if i've played that game recently, i think about it all the time. in other words, it is like a constantly running program, making use of my memory when it's not otherwise occupied. it's worse than a normal obsession, because it's not an idea and it sounds stupid to say i'm addicted to a kiddie shareware game.
  
• card games: i don't like games that i can't cheat at. i suck at cards, so normally i have my little strategies when playing against certain people that at least don't make me lose. but i have never won a single game of freecell, which isn't just pathetic, but it screws up my parents' stats on the computer.
  
• adventure games: for all who don't already know, i am one of the world's biggest fans of the myst series. it's one of the only games i play these days. but the problem is that the scenery is pretty and so is the music and so is the storyline, but it's limited. sure, i have a great deal of patience, but i can only look at artifacts a certain number of times. besides, the best of these games was riven, which had a culture, unlike myst or exile. the other flaw is that they're not real, nor do they have a theme park attached.
  
• simulation games: this is my personal favorite category. i used to be a killer simcity 2000 player, but i don't like sc3k as much because it doesn't have certain structures and the scenarios aren't as good. the best thing about games, especiall the sims, is that you can update them constantly with stuff made my fans. but alas, they too conjure up dreams of power in a young girl's heart, and then she imagines being able to click on any person in order to hold a conversation or start a fight.
  
• strategy games: i am a new fan of age of empires II. nothing makes me feel great like libing up little virtual tin soldiers to make them fight, or rape and pillage, or whatever. but they stir up the hubris in me. see above entry.
  
• other stuff: i don't like fps games because they're too loud, the plotlines are dumb, and they have bad graphics which nonetheless cause poor hal to crash. but otherwise they're fun and they make me want to be a teenage guy so i can blame it on the hormones.

21:44

!
probably no one reads my log, but i operate under the impression that i am a syndicated columnist and everyone seriously cares what i think. therefore, i havedecided to start a new feature which actually talks about stuff, called brainwax.
21:25

EXHAUSTIVE ENTERTAINMENT FORMER CURRENTNESS

read in the last week: _the code book_, simon singh, _the dragons of eden_, carl sagan
listened: mostly the radio. couldn't find my cd player. got the pyramid song single! also listened: supergrass, powderfinger, npr jazz.
surfed: none. was never there.
watched: _save the last dance_, _with honors_, _shrek_, _blow up_, the tube

21:15

LONG TIME NO C

well, it rained today. not in mountain view, because it's always like a million degrees down there, but in san francisco it did. i really hope it doesn't continue and god forbid it moves down the peninsula, because as much as people tell me otherwise, i don't think concerts in the rain are fun. but i'm still looking forward to it. i've made an effort to memorize every song they might possibly play. go me.

i've begun to enjoy my job slightly more now. i actually have some lab work, even though it is rather menial. the other day i had this revelation that maybe high school interns are only there to do what other people don't want to do and get paid far less for it. i am so gosh-darn intelligent that sometimes i astound myself.

over the weekend...sat around and slept, went to my other job (of which i found the frenetic pace somewhat relaxing) and trained new people again. i really dislike the way they're doing it, because it's basically just the demos. then the new hires get bored in the middle and never learn the demos, and meanwhile they don't have a clue about anything on the floor. if it were up to me, the dissections and stuff would be one day, and then they'd just have to look at a cheat sheet. there wouldn't be any paired dissections just as an incentive to actually learn the material. now if only i were 21 so i could be a manager. whatever. anyway, i'm so fucking sick of david o. and what he does. next time he comes near me i'll call him on sexual harassment, among other charges of general immaturity. i also went to go see shrek. i have like no time for a social life anymore, but that's okay. there really aren't very many good movies playing anyway.
21:07

TODAY IS THE GREATEST

well, i still haven't managed to transfer divisions yet. i suppose it's too much to ask that i actually know something about what i'm doing. being an adult looks like a bleak prospect to me. why is it that the first 18 years or more of one's life have to be filled with nonstop stimuli such that the student is stressed out but learning a lot, while after that the majority of one's life is confined to one office, doing something uninteresting like desk work. i frankly don't understand why there hasn't yet been a revolt among all the white-collar workers of america. i guess it's because they're happy being paid to not do much. but it's depressing. like i know there's some sort of lab work out there that i love, and even typing up data tables with obscure numbers that i don't comprehend entirely is better than doing something i'm uninspired by. for instance, the dinner table talk up at the observatory was a little on the esoteric side, but it was about finding extrasolar planets. extrasolar planets ain't tablets of silicone-impregnated something-or-other (whatever spells SIRCA and makes sense) that need to be tested for weeks on end and signed off on after a trillion inspections and stuff.

i guess i'm a little late on the 'i hate work' thing. i don't know how i'm going to survive growing up if i don't work in a place that requires my attention every second. i need to be sedated. but unfortunately the economy of our country and probably of my future home relies on drab deskwork. why can't we all just go back to being hunter-gatherers?

in other news, i carried someone's notebook while he carried a 20-gallon (why do they use english units? why??) can of tolulene around. like, it could have exploded at any minute.

no, that's just y runaway imagination thinking i was doing something sort of hazardous. but as the sign near my building says, "don't be a statistic, be an example!" i prolly have to undergo some training to even be in the same building, so nothing is even remotely dangerous or cool.
22:07

ODD LINES FROM SONGS (or lines that don't really fit or strike me as odd)

• "you are the greatest thing, the greatest thing since bread came sliced" - r.e.m., "imitation of life" what an unusual lyric
  
• "i'll be waiting with a gun and a pack of sandwiches" -radiohead, "talk show host"
  
• "the best soy latte that you ever made" -train, "drops of jupiter".
  
• ...i had a lot more. but now i'm just thinking of wacky songs like "the future's so bright". god knows why.
  

i gotta wear shades.

21:49

FURST

started work yesterday..i desperately need to be placed in a different department. i feel like what i'm doing right now is a total waste of time. i don't understand any of it, and for once, i don't care to. i learned (after a day) that i really don't want to be an engineer. of course, i already knew that, but whatever. i dislike materials science...i really wanted to do astrobiology, and i thought i'd have a tolerance for my division...but i don't. anyway. just too many engineers, and although some say there's no real difference between engineers and scientists, i can tell them apart. i'm a scientist; i don't randomly record my results using english units (gah! it seems like my only use today was to compare two sets of data, but first i had to convert one into metric, because it was in awful things like farenheit) and i can do things spontaneously. that is, it doesn't take 9 weeks for me to get something tested. gee, if i want to look at a damn star, i now know how to point a telescope at it.

yesterday i was lost while walking around the campus with latifat. we were looking for the shuttle stop and asked the security guard where, but he was no help, so we walked in circles until we found a sign. after we got on, we realized that of course there was a stop right where we had inquired previously and it didn't require walking half a mile. but whatever. it's the government.
21:22

STUPH

thursday: went to karin's graduation with becca and meredith. we saw a few of our old teachers, but a lot of them have gone off to get married or have kids or teach in high school. mr. barnett is going to teach high school next year now that his daughter's graduated. or, that is, maybe he's finally gotten over eighth grade girls. ew. i am so glad he isn't coming to my school. there are already enough pedophiles who don't bug me. we also went to talk to mr. potter, who is taking a sabbatical next year, but i never really took any of his classes until...come to think of it, after sixth grade. anyhey, he sort of watches the social interactions of spoiled middle-school students and hates his job and makes ironic comments, so he's always a fun person to talk to. eventually he said he'd email me when he got some stuff in a gallery again, so i'm looking forward to that.
12:04

PANSY DAY

earlier today i went to the pre-commencement ceremony at kdbs which was...well, it brought back memories. saw a few of my old classmates, but ironically the same ones i had already seen. anyway, it was the moving up thing...heard little 5th-7th graders sing songs they wrote about their year. the sixth graders sang theirs to the tune of "adam's song" which didn't really fit, but whatever. anyway. everyone was crying by the end, and i finally got to throw pansies. a different experience. the school looks better than when i was there, because they finished all the stuff they were doing, like installing our tiles. karin got the alumnae award for the highest g.p.a. i almost got that, but i was third in my class. i have no chance of getting it after high school, but i don't particularly care. let james, naira, stephanie, etc. get it. it's their time.

is the ad for the ford explorer on the radio narrated by gillian anderson?
14:21

REFLECTION

three years ago i graduated from eighth grade. i haven't seen many of my classmates since then, and really only talk to a handful of them. i found my yearbook recently, and looking through the pages it doesn't really look like anyone's changed, but i can feel it. i hate being nostalgic like this. however, i guess i never really read the message to the class of '98 from ms. bayne, with a letter written by emily w. it was cute, and appropriate. however, everyone hated my class, for various reasons. while i was there those reasons seemed vague, but looking back, i know why. we didn't bond at all. weeks in the wilderness split us further. we were cruel, and middle school was the epitome of darwinism. the big fish eat the little ones, as radiohead would say. well, now that we're all diffused...all out in our various ponds, whether they be large or small ones, i think we've all grown. but when i go to my class reunion next year, i have this feeling tha it'll all go back to the way it was in 1998, and in the 9 years before that...all my self-confidence will mysteriously vanish and i'll be cliquey with a few people i already know and feel fine around. i'll be in the same position socially, for a few hours, as i was when i was 13, even though in reality i may be more than someone who gives in to whatever pressure. except now i'm more self-conscious, and it'll be worse.

in seventh grade i began to realize who i was...but not in the way that magazines love to herald, the "finding oneself" that builds identity. no, i realized miserably that i was sort of like dirt, and i was letting people step on me. except at that point i had no control, and it drove me crazy. i guess for a few years there i was sort of screwed up. ultimately, i think it was my own fault, and not the school's, but i wouldn't have been in that position had i been more well-regarded. or at least treated better by my classmates. no one stopped them from laughing at me or treating me like i was a few years younger. how could i possibly bond with people like that? i had no desire to. so it's not like i tried and failed, but that i wasn't willing to partake in any sort of, to quote hilary, "bondage". so i guess i was equally at fault.

i hate self-pity. i'm a reasonable man, get off my case.
23:37

CURRENTNESS

listening: _achtung, baby_, u2
watching: nada
reading: quantum pants!
surfing: random number generators: hotbits, random.org, lavarand
17:58

OBSERVATION

my first night spent at a working observatory.

left yesterday at about 2 p.m. with debra, who is a planet hunter at berkeley. she picked me up at my house and we drove to the daly city bart station to pick up eric, an undergrad astrophysics student at berkeley. he brought me a worksheet so i could learn the sky coordinate system, which is good, because i had no idea how to find anything. i usually just sort of pointed and said, "look at that star." on the way down we stopped at debra's daughter's school for a parent-teacher conference, and i learned about right ascension.

lick observatory is 28 miles from san jose and 50 miles from livermore, according to the signs at the top. the road we took to get up there was 28 miles of the windiest road i had ever experienced. that is, i counted 309 curves, over half of which were hairpin. it was a crazy drive alright, and not one that made me particularly excited about learning to drive. we reached the top at about 5:30 and checked in. my room was in the "new dorm" which was a not-very-well-ventilated dorm, but good enough. sign on the outside said "quiet: day and night sleepers". we weren't using the 3-meter main telescope, but the smaller cat (coude attachment telescope) which was in the same dome as the 3m. met some other astronomers, one of which was a beginning observer, so i didn't feel alone. we started setting up, and debra fixed something because greg, a guy who was observing the previous night (a theorist) had been having problems. turned out this mask was in backwards, which would explain things.

at 6 or so we went to dinner and arrived late. there were more people than i expected, mostly grad students from berkeley and santa cruz. i didn't pick up many names. jamie was the guy working in the old dome who looked sort of like brodie from roswell, and marshall was a first-year grad student at berkeley who had just graduated from harvard. everyone talked astronomy while we ate chicken and rice and beans and then picked up our night lunches and went back.

we went back to the control room of the cat and worked on focusing it for a while using the thorium-argon lamp to do so. had some problems with it, because evidently the ccd was turned slightly, making it difficult to focus. we had to wait for the sun to set, so we left it to do that and debra took us up to the old buildings, which included the 12-inch refractor and a 40-inch reflector, which jamie was using. the 12-inch was old and actually had an eyepiece, but that scope is just used for shows and visitors anyway. below the moveable floor is the body of james lick.

after getting some sodas and stuff, we returned and opened the mirror cover of the cat, checked more stuff, did a lamp check, put in the iodine cell, and stuff. eric and i got a tour of the 3m scope led by one of the team members using that to look at binary systems. got to go up in the elevator and all. that scope has an interchangeable secondary mirror. at 9, when the sun had set, we went back and started observing on the cat. i focused on a star, which was cool. the controllers to move the mirror are just like a video game console, except no cool graphics, just a readout of declination and right ascension. put it on auto-track and left it to do two 2400-second exposures, which went fine. during that time, we set up the logsheet and went outside to look at the stars. the weather had cleared up, and there was just a bit of fog way below us in san jo. i learned that professional astronomers don't know anything about the night sky; they leave that sort of stuff to the amateurs. in other words, we could identify the big dipper, but not much else. saw a bright non-stellar object which i thought was jupiter, but that shows how much i know. after some research, we figured out it was mars, which is currently at opposition and brighter than it normally is. so that was cool. after that exposure was done, we looked at a binary system for a while.

the project debra is doing involves looking at bright stars with known planets, but getting more data points to see if, by chance, there are more smaller planets. she's trying to get 1 m/s precision, which hasn't happened yet, but when it does it'll be cool.

at about 12:30 this morning we lost track of the star...the photon count was levelling off and we couldn't figure out what was up with that. turned out the humidity monitor, which was telling us 40%, was actually giving the level inside the dome, because although it wa perfectly clear about ten minutes earlier, when we went out, the fog was really thick at our elevation, so we had to quickly run in and shut everything off and cover the mirror so it wouldn't fog up. the weather map was showing that it would be like this for the rest of the night, so we turned in. the 3m people hadn't had better luck, and had shut down at like 10pm, because the night operator takes pleasure in closing up. i got to bed by about 1:30.

this morning i got up at about 10:30, went up to the astronomer's diner for breakfast, and looked around for my ride down. she was troubleshooting the cat, which i found out only after walking back and forth from the diner to the dorm to the dome four or five times. i got my ride to san jo and took caltrain back to the city.

karin's back from her trip. yay. but i still need to get her a graduation present.
17:53

STUPID PEOPLE

06.09.01

1. the guy who chased me down asking me to take a flyer for his stupid party. no. i got one earlier.

2. the guy who was in line and acted like a live telemarketer. he wanted me to take a flyer promoting his pop band. he asked me:
guy: do you like music?
becca: music is dead.
me: uh.
guy: what kind of music?
me: um.
guy: do you like to dance?
me: no.
guy: do you like anything?
me: not really.
guy: so where are you all from?
andrea: uh.
me: drr.
meredith: san francisco
guy: me too! were do you go to school?
us: drr.
guy: whatever, you guys are boring.
and he was wearing a fugly gray tie-dyed tank top.

3. the guy in front of me at the eurobungee. he reminded me of jimmy. talked about my shoes. but he was 40. ew.



21:49

CURRENTNESS

listening: _13 tales of urban bohemia_, the dandy warhols
have watched in last day: _evolution_, _the grapes of wrath_
reading: _first you build a cloud, and other thoughts on philosophy and physics as a way of life_
surfing: http://www.everything2.com

21:24

BACK ONLINE
karin went away today for her class trip. so it's nice & quiet around here.

went to work today. friday is david's last day so i have to get this demo up and running soon, but i lost the script. so now i have to write it all over again. and i actually have to remember stuff. i went in late because we had to drop karin off at her school before i went in. it was sorta nice sleeping for once. even though it's summer, i still haven't had much time to sleep. sat around for a while not doing much, wrote a bit while sitting at audio tours. later, after a meeting, i watched mori and david m. kill each other for like an hour. it was hilarious, but i've been really dead today. haven't talked much (what a surprise!) and laughed a little. all these people are leaving soon though. i know mary's coming back this summer to work, which will be cool, because i haven't seen her since last august, and luisa's working also, but i think aaron switched departments and is only working with us on wednesdays when i won't be there, and david is doing another production and will be away. and then everyone is going off to college. one more year.

yesterday meredith, andrea, becca and i all went to great america for the day. i needed that rush of epinephrine in order to jolt me into summer. now it's become a ritual or something, going to ride roller coasters all day and hang with the surburbanites. anyway, i really wanted to go on the thing in which you bungee jump off this big arch thing and then swing back and forth for a while, but i needed $20 and no one wanted to go with me. i didn't particularly feel like being tied to two strangers, so. i figure i'll go after i graduate for real, but i have to make sure i don't die. everyone seems to die after graduation, which sort of isn't cool.

friday i went to the shield and scroll picnic...fun and games. i arrived way too early, in other words, on time, and had to sit arund and listen to the officers decide stuff and whine for a while, and then i played bop-it with april and jenny for a while. (no update on my math grade...mr. chambers didn't tell yelena anything or she didn't call jenny or something...i'm a litte vague on the details). i called people from the middle of the empty field using my gadget and made plans to go see a bad movie that afternoon...discussed stuff with people...found out that stephanie is not a mindless coffee addict, but that she actually has good taste in music (but is still in dire need of a caffeine i.v.), what people are doing this summer, that i am an even more pathetic guitar player than i thought, and then gossipped for a bit. too bad james wasn't there, because the gossip could've been better.

i actually registered for classes! without any tie-ups or time-outs. it took about ten minutes to get 5 credits worth of stuff on my schedule, which is more than i need. oh joy.

so much for old news.


20:59

CANNOT GRADUATE

ironically, i attended graduation today and will be going to university next year but i didn't graduate. and i know like five people who are seniors or graduating this year at the age of 16. and i finished being 16 two months ago.

my school was squished in the morning. four hours in and out. at noon there were a million people and i couldn't tell who had just graduated and who had yet to do so because the other school had the same color robes as we did. and then came a stream of people. i was supposed to ush and hand out programs, but that was only for an hour at the beginning, so after that i just watched the class of 2001. congratulations. clapped quite a bit.

it was kind of weird because everyone was really decked out in ribbons and sashes and stuff. and all these things were announced on stage. and then there were more speeches and awards. i've never actually been to a high school graduation before. just seen it on tv.
22:09

CURRENTNESS

listening: _best of the stone roses_
surfing: dawson's creek hah. i have no life whatsoever. the evidence.
22:46

TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF THE WEEK

well. i went to work today. there were a lot of people there for a wednesday, which means that it's the beginning of summer. actually, first i got up late, which was nice, and went to school to convince my math teacher to up my grade to an a. four points away from it out of 1081. and i used all my cards, none of which worked. but that's all in the past now. no more conics, no more polars. more...calc. a tear is being shed as you read this. because i don't understand what calculus is. and i'm planning to study physics. what is wrong with this picture?

went to the atm to get money to go shopping since i've gone two days in a row without money. nordstrom half-yearly sale. god, either i'm addicted or just in love with their shoe department. or both. anyway, the damn thing was broken and the useless teller told me no cash transactions at that branch. i need a more useful bank.

what happened later is that i had my daddy drive me downtown to pupil services, which is in a non-building that looks like a jail, and they told me no work permit without a social security card. hello. who ever asks for that? i've never been asked for my card in my life, and i looked for it and now i can't find it, so i hope an official document with my number on it will do.

meredith would rather work than celebrate my birthday with me. and she's my best friend. what does this say about me?
22:39

10 WHY I SHOULD HAVE A 4.0

10. i have never actually had one. new experiences are always good.
9. i actually enjoy going to classes. really.
8. i especially enjoy going to english and math. neither of which i have an a in.
7. especially math. i *love* math. no, seriously. i read books about it in my free time and study a lot and i know more than i demonstrated on the final.
6. i would probably have a 4.0 if i had different teachers. maybe.
5. i never sleep in class. because it's interesting. and i'm one of the few people who has never fallen asleep in class despite the little sleep i get. really.
4. hello. i was 0.34% away from an a in math. 0.34%!!!
3. i demonstrate responsibility and stuff. and maturity. for realz!
2. i never ever cheat, unlike some people. unlike most people. and i'm being very honest.
1. i just rock?

bah. i give up. i'll never be on the honor roll. i'll just pretend i don't care.
15:37

SCHEDULE FOR MORNING

09:16 - get up
09:20 - read paper, eat cereal. mmm.
09:40 - shower, dress: grey sweater, blue shirt, jeans, sandals. i live in jeans.
10:10 - leave house, catch bus.
10:40 - broken atm.
10:50 - whine at math teacher to no avail.
15:25

SCHEDULE FOR MORNING

06:21 - get up
06:25 - read paper, eat muffin
06:45 - preen. today's wardrobe: jeans, black tie-dye shirt, white button shirt, black shoes. such color that i amaze myself occasionally.
07:09 - leave house
18:27

O HAPPY DAY OF FREEDUMB

went to school to clean my locker. it was sort of sad. but disgusting. i found lunches that could probably be sold as archaelogical relics, but i found my lunchbox. my monster women one. went to pick up my finals and found that my math one went as horribly as i had imagined. lowered my borderline grade to a still-borderline grade that i would rather not have. so very close, though. tomorrow i will go bribe the teacher. said bye to a couple teachers. i miss physics already. god i love that class. i also miss bio and competing with erica for the high scores, but that just satisfies my ego i suppose. then i went to buy amnesiac, which i have been eagerly awaiting. or rather, i dragged meredith and andrea to the record store and then dragged them out. ended up living at the mall *again* and finding more materialistic pleasures.
17:30

CURRENTNESS

listening: _amnesiac_, radiohead.
reading: _the double helix_, james d. watson
watching: _house of mirth_
surfing: http://64.81.243.163/dictator.html - guess the sit-com character or dictator
17:18

10 MALL STEWPIDDITTEES

10. cartoon monkeys
9. watches with fluff on the band
8. shirts w/ lips
7. anorexic models juxtaposed w/ saturated fat food court
6. cell phone faceplates
5. teenybopper clothing in kid sizes
4. what exactly is the difference between gap old navy & banana rep.?
3. elevator muzak nonstop
2. overpriced muzak
1. sparkly pink shorts in my size. SPARKLY PINK SHORTZ. for people over the age of 6.


19:53

BREATH

last day of school. math final. purgatory. god, i need a break. well, tomorrow it's clean the locker time. also i get t get myself a necessary item, so i'll get my butt over to the record store while i'm not in biology. thank god for teachers who don't require attendance during this last useless week.

yesterday: went to work. dar wants me to help train the newbies, which means i'll be working like 7 days a week for part of the summer, but what the hell. we discussed how they should have various versions of the sat to cover screwed up people. jay and i noticed that in the pedigree of this one family they had a bunch of incestuous relationships. like for humans. but whatever. biology is fun. ish.

today: went shopping after exams. no money, but it's still fun. i am becoming a consumer whore. damn me. but there is this jacket i must have if only i had $44. but tomorrow i will be broke buying a new cd. two jobs and i still have no money. how pathetic i am.
19:44

happiness. the email i just received.

"I am working on the next landed mission to Mars, Mars 2003 (Mars Exploration Rover). JPL is designing two spacecrafts to land on Mars like Pathfinder did (airbags) and then a larger rover will explore the surface of Mars, looking for signs if life existed. Each spacecraft will land in a different location on Mars so we can get data from different areas.

"The part of the mission I am supporting is the Thermal Protection System (TPS) for the back of the spacecraft. Some people in our group invented a great material and JPL wants to use it on a portion of the spacecraft. TPS materials protect the spacecraft from burning up as it enters the martian atmosphere. So I think we have the most important job! We'll never get to the surface of Mars without TPS materials!

"Since we invented the material, we are actually making the material here, on-site, in our Chemistry lab. We are starting the manufacture in the beginning of June and it will end in October. In addition, we will be testing the material here at Ames in the arc jet facilities. Arc jet facilities simulate the harsh environment that the TPS will see during entry into Mars. Through these tests, we are able to evaluate how the TPS material will respond to those conditions. We especially need to make sure the TPS material will provide enough insulation to the spacecraft.

"So in terms of exactly what you could be doing with me, we have plenty of interesting things going on. If you were interested, you would be able to help in the lab making the material, and helping with various tests of the material to make sure we are making quality material. Also, there is plenty to do to help with arc jet testing. We need to coordinate our shop in making the models, and make measurements before and after the test. If you are familiar with computers, there's be work you can do on computers to support all that is going on.

"I wanted to let you know what I am doing, and see if it interests you. I want you to get the best experience possible this summer, to maybe even help you decide what direction you want to go in the future. So if you feel like this wouldn't be a fit, please don't hesitate to let me know. I wouldn't take it personally! :)"

17:43

this is the beginning.
i meant to start two days ago but ran out of time. two days ago was when i couldn't remember my ftp password for my server. hah. so now i started a space on blogspot.

yesterday was odd. took some tests in the morning which totally fried my brain. like those ads 'this is your brain. this is your brain on drugs.' my real brain would be like a happy little bunny dude, but my brain after the sats would be like a piece of roadkill. that reminds me of thursday or wednesday in english when we went off on a tangent about roadkill and how they have guides to identify what species it was. they also make those things for bug splats on yer windshield.

in my city, taking these standardized tests is a chance for everyone from every school to get together. for me it was like a class reunion. i never see people from burke's anymore other than meredith and natalie because they go to my school. i saw darby, katie, jenn [insert machine-gun laughter here] and oddly enough, hanna. becca hasn't been telling me anything about how she is. last time i saw her was april 98 when we turned 15. now i don't even recognize my former best friend of eight years. isn't it weird how these things happen. it'll be worse when i'm 40, i spose.
17:27